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asd diagnosis, just posting for a release or a chat really

11 replies

ditavonteesed · 29/09/2015 16:45

Just got back from assessment, they have given dd a diagnosis of asd and given us lots of information about aspergers although apparently it's not aspergers anymore just asd. DD seems fine with it, we will obviously discuss it more but I think she is happy to have an explanation of why she finds things hard. The psychologist said the way we handle her meltdowns and boundary setting (ie we don;t at the time but go back to it later) is right and that it sounds like we do everything well for dd. I need to talk to school tomorrow, she has just started secondary and is getting a bit confused with all the homework and timetables. They said she masks it incredibly well which is why noone it has taken so long to get her seen.

I don't know what I think right now, I am not sure what I wanted the outcome to be but I feel I need to be a lot more understanding of dd's needs and ignore the judgy people. I have told her it is her information to share only as she wants and that she has no obligation to tell anyone if she doesn't want to but it is also part if her and nothing to be embarrassed about.

I think I need to sit down with a glass of wine and process this information and what it means for dd. I have no idea what to say to the senco at school, I haven't spoken to her before as I didn't see the point until after the assessment. They said the report will have recommendations such as dd should be allowed things to fiddle with in class, a quiet place to focus that kind of thing.

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PolterGoose · 29/09/2015 17:22

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ditavonteesed · 29/09/2015 19:22

I am struggling to get her to engage in a conversation about it and she wont read the book she was given as it's boring.

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PolterGoose · 29/09/2015 20:00

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ditavonteesed · 29/09/2015 20:26

thanks Smile that may have made me cry Blush I will show dd in a few days when she s ready to talk (and her sister).

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Meloncoley2 · 29/09/2015 21:07

My DD says things are boring as a way of showing she doesn't want to talk about something, or that she is finding something difficult. We are still processing her probable AS diagnosis here, so allow yourself time.

2boysnamedR · 29/09/2015 22:14

Yes it will take a long time to process and sink in. I thought it had sunk in after a few days but it took a lot longer as I did keep going back and mulling things over. It was May and still have days where I think they are wrong ( they aren't wrong. Even Einstein was talking at the age!)

Also I still don't "get" asd. Like with my other son, I didn't read tonnes on dyspraxia. I spent time really thinking about how each of them struggled and just tried to tune into them rather than the diagnosis.

It's a weird time as your both relieved to know what's going on but sad and worrying all at once. Well I was. I still worry but I feel like I know them better know.

I also said my dyspraxic son was a enigma. He's not anymore. I totally get him now. I never understand what it's like to be him. But I know how he ticks. More than my NT child who is my new enigma!!

ditavonteesed · 30/09/2015 07:56

thanks, I think it will take a while to sink in although we expected this. DD watched that video this morning and really liked it. I had a little cry this morning when I remembered things I had done in the past like take the stickers off her door because they were messy (I'm sure there was more to it at the time) Sad feel like a really bad mum today, the last couple of years we decided to assume she was autistic and parent as we would and our home has been a lot calmer and dd happier I just wish I had reached that conclusion earlier.

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PolterGoose · 30/09/2015 09:19

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ditavonteesed · 30/09/2015 14:59

feeling ab it better now, spoke to the senco who was amazing, she said that they will fetch her from class tommorow so I can tell her tonight and show her round the integrated resource which she can use at breaks if its too loud/busy elsewhere. They will get her a fiddle toy and email all her teachers to tell them she is allowed it (she was worried about getting in trouble) and give her a 5min pass so she can leave lessons 5 mins early to avoid the busy times. They have also said she can have extra breaks if she needs them and I am going in to an open evening next week they said to find senco and she will have a chat and arrange for me to go in and see IR unit. They said that iff dd forgets her bag or anything she can go to them and they will get it for her so she doesn't have to go back into class rooms when there are classes on.

My mum asked me round for lunch and dm and ddad have spent a few hours looking through the literature they gave me yesterday.

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2boysnamedR · 30/09/2015 15:03

Wow! Your senco sounds amazing! Can you clone her and send a spare my way?

ditavonteesed · 30/09/2015 15:55

she does seem really good although I am going to put that to the test already as dd has lost her homework folder with all the work she has done in it, I have emailed her teacher and copied the senco asking them to let her teachers know as dd is distraught that she is going to get a detention. Secondary school is all feeling a bit much suddenly.

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