Anyone about right now?

[kojackscat]

I just need hand holding, ds being horrid and I'm in tears again. Dh gone to tesco, dd holed up in her room with music on so she can't hear.

Can you escape, into the garden maybe?

Sorry you are having a horrible day

Dd came out of her room, calmed him, played for a few mins, put the tv on for him, got him a drink, then hoovered up the sand he had been throwing around.

Sometimes I realise how lucky I am.

Thanks, I need,but if I left him in that mood he would start attacking his sister, so I have no choice but to stay v close to him. I put him in his room and stay outside holding the door till he calms down. I feel so cruel doing it, but it's the only way to keep us all safe when he gets like this.

Just be careful when holding your child, i diddnt know this till i had been on a team teach course, that if they lean forward you can restrict the breathing when you are holding them and a child can die up to 12 hours later.

I diddnt tell you that to make you feel bad, just so you can both keep yourselves safe xx

Im there with you luv, i have had to do this many times and they get so strong xx

Dont know luv, just what i was told when i was on this course, i diddnt ask why it could take so long, i was interested in the fact that it could happen as i diddnt know,so i always make sure my son is leaning back now.

I've heard of team teach, but not sure exactly what it is. Can you tell me more about it please?

Its a course hat people go on and its all about keeping children like ours and ourselves safe,usually people who work in schools or resedential homes go on them and thats where you can learn if you have to restrain how to do it really saftley, but first to use de escalation ect.

It's called positional asphyxiation. Very unlikely if a restraint is carried out correctly.

You haven't said you use restrictive physical intervention thought kojak?
Is there another way or space your Ds can go into so your having to hold a door and it doesn't still give him a fight? What about a small shed in the garden with soft walls, a punchbag, beanbag etc?

sorry im wondering if this orignal post has been edited can you do this? or have i just read it totally wrong?

I didn't say anything about restraining him. He is only 7 so still small enough to pick up and carry to his room. But in the future I'm a bit worried, as he gets bigger and stronger.

Sorry luv must be me misreading xxxx, i usually hold my son hes 8 and very strong xxxxx

Safe spaces should always be used before a restraint if possible. Team teach is more about de escalation techniques anyway and holding is ALWAYS as a last resort. I would look for more help identifying possible triggers if anything before you go down the route of learning restraints.
If you do find it necessary to restrain though, as youarentkiddingme has already said, asphyxiation, or indeed any injury is highly unlikely if team teach techniques are carried out correctly.

Not everyone knows team teach techniques though mrsmummypig thats what im trying to say,if you know know team teach how would you know if your were holding a child correctly or not?

Im lucky i have done it now, i also know a lot about de escalation,however, sometimes when you have a child thats trying to harm others or themselves and nothing else is working you need to try and do whats right for everyone.

But it was you who brought team teach into it shazzarooney
The OP didn't mention any restraints.
My knowledge and experience of Team Teach is quite extensive but purely on a professional level and I get what you are saying about do what you have to do as a parent but I think you maybe need to have another look at your handbook especially the Ethos of team teach before you advise others about the use of restraints. I'm presuming you aren't an accredited trainer, forgive me if I'm wrong.

Kojak is there anywhere he can go or something you can do other than carry him to his room when he's angry? If you can set up a soft safe space and use a social story it may help? Carrying him is dangerous for you and him and can escalate the situation - plus as you say will get harder as he gets bigger. Maybe even a pop up tent that can be erected where he is at the time?
I get it's easier said than done.

Shazza I'm sure you feel empowered and more confident using restrictive physical intervention with your ds if needed now. Just be careful not to advise others on techniques you've learnt on the course when warning them of positional asphyxiation. Remember it's extremely rare.

Haha x posts mummy we may do the same thing and share the same concerns!

Mrsmummy,i dont think your taking what im saying the right way, for one i had read the message the wrong way and what i was also trying to say was if you have to use it as a last resort please try not to do this.

Obviously i have not come out with it the way i meant to.

You are kidding me again i do not feel empowered and i do not hope i have come across that way, that was not the way it was intended, for some reason i had read that op had been holding her child and yes i was wrong just to say try not to hold a child when they are leaning forward.

I am the last person on earth to be feeling empowered at this moment in time trust me.

Personal asphixiation may always be rare but its always worth bearing in mind. like i said i diddnt know about it untill i went on the course.

I am sorry if i have come across the wrong way,it was not intended what so ever, was with the best intentions, but unfortunately sometimes my choice of words are not good.

But you should feel empowered to use the techniques where appropriate within the set legal guidelines.

Youarentkiddingme after i done the course it made me feel better,just so i can keep my son safe and my family safe, dont know if you read my other post but i took him to a&e lastnight because he was trying to get at the knives, so in an instance like that i hold him, but then he tried again, the i held him, then again sevral more times, when he calmed down a little i took him to a&e hoping they would get a pychologist or medicate him, but sadly not!

We were sent home with a flea in my ear for not looking after myself or time out for myself and my son with nothing apart from we will get in contact with socail services to see if you can get respite! which in fact he probably wont get.

So am not trying to do anything but to keep everyone safe, like i said before i done the course i diddnt know, i know now, and i i can help anyone else i will do, in every situation.

sorry im just feeling really touchy xxxx

Ah don't feel touchy - we're all in the same boat. You sound like your having a really hard time right now. Be kind to yourself. I didn't know about that and we are all here to share experiences.

My toddler doesn't seem to have meltdowns ( maybe that's denial) he does plenty of other eyebrow raising stuff to make up for that.

My older boy is like a fire. I don't feed his temper. I don't argue much either.

We have a "exchange" where we will only disagree for about five exchanges or so before he gets disproportionately angry. At that point I just say "I'm not doing this, I'm not talking to you now" he raves on for a bit, I ignore, he quickly dies down, I then talk to him 1-2 hours later.

Taking himself to a time out place sounds like a good idea. Can you teach him to throw some bean bags or something in his room? Have a scream and a rant but he has to hide under the quilt as well before he comes out? Sorry I'm no help. My pre teen throws stuff about and screams. It seems to help - but he goes into his room. E then asks me to help him tidy up! Cheeky bugger

shazza I have read your other post have you asked about doing the advanced course if your ds is using weapons? The basic/foundation TT course doesn't cover such situations.