ASD and food issues, getting to end of tether

[AsTimeGoesBy]

DS (11, AS) was weaned as normal as a baby, then at 18 months old suddenly withdrew from eating lots and lots of foods that he had previously eaten happily. We have muddled through the pre-school / primary years whilst trying all sorts of tactics to broaden his palate, but have expended so much energy on helping him with social skills, school work, getting a statement that we haven't really put all our efforts into this. It's come to a head now, he has started at a special school for Year 7 and school dinners are compulsory, they have a great chef, and at least 4 choices every day, but there is virtually nothing there he will eat most days. Same when we eat out, if we go to a pub there are likely to be one or two at the most menu choices for him, normal cafes are a total non-starter, our only options are pasta, pizza and Indian and the rest of us are heartily sick of it. He won't eat any sort of plain or bland, normal "British" meals, roasts, stews, and meat and two veg type meals or potatoes in any shape or form. He's not malnourished as he eats a reasonable balance of food groups, but chooses from such a restricted range.

I'm at my wits end quite frankly. I just want to be able to cook normal every day meals and have most people eat them most of the time. I've posted on fussy eating threads before and been told I should just put down a meal in front of him and if he's hungry enough he'll eat it, oh no he won't, he'd rather starve and is a skinny (10th centile) thing. Also been accused of stealth boasting because the few things he will eat include spicy foods and couscous, I know it makes me sound like one of "those" mums, but life would be so much easier if we could occasionally go to MacDonalds or have fish and chips.

I suggested to him tonight that we try and get a referral to a dietitican and he hit the roof, he is very defensive about it all. Has anyone got any suggestions, or found a dietician useful for these sorts of issues? I am going to talk to the school again, but I feel I really need to try and help him more at home.

Thank you and sorry you've had problems too. However just taking tupperware everywhere with us is not an option for school residentials, Scout camps etc. DS also does not want us having to explain about his autism in restaurants where we would undoubtedly be questioned if we got out our own food for an 11 year old. Although I do often carry an emergency stash on days out and let him eat on the hoof.

He's done well this week, tried a couple of new things at school and eaten well at home. I've bought some orzo but haven't tried it yet.

Managed to get a school age DC with sensory problems from a diet of predominantly puréed foods, beige foods (pasta, potatoes, rice, bread, etc) and sweet things to eat anything and everything, including salad! How? Every meal time I would bribe with "if you want this yummy pudding you must eat 2 spoonfuls of this new food" after a few days of no puddings on offer except fruit, DC realised trying the new food would be a good plan as the pudding was so tempting. Then DC took it for granted that every meal there would be a new food. Then the "horrid" foods such as vegetables gradually became less horrid and DC began to take it for granted and eat them with no problem. However, it WAS NOT EASY and did TAKE 6 F-ING YEARS!!

I'm glad it worked for you Pika (OP here BTW). Unfortunately DS would very happily go without his pudding rather than eat something he doesn't like, there are very few puddings he likes as well. And he is quite good at trying things, but I'd say 95% of the time that doesn't result in him wanting any more of it, ever.

However, as an update, things aren't much better at home, but he is managing ok at school, he doesn't want to be the only one eating packed lunches packed lunches and has managed to find something he can eat every day even if it's just bread or couscous, but they have a pasta option most days and pizza once a week which are his staples. So that's a relief. I have gone back to chilled out about it frame of mind, thank you all for being so patient with me, no doubt I will get stressed out again at some point but it is nice to know I'm not the only one.