ASD and very oppositional - is special school inevitable?

[amunt]

DS is four and extremely oppositional. We can just about manage him, but no other adults have managed to. If you say, 'that's hot', he'll say 'no it's cold'. He's not an angry child, but he pulls hair and kicks if someone tries to force him. The other problem is that he is interested in virtually nothing and so there is very little leverage to get compliance. He's just started school and now that the novelty has worn off his behaviour has become difficult for them to manage.

If anyone has had a similar experience I'd be interested to know if a move to a special school is inevitable or whether something can change in his behaviour as he gets older.

Thanks

Mine are in SS (they have AS with EBD-type problems) but I don't think it is inevitable.

I assume he has only just started reception so very early days.

If problems continue school need to be calling in an education psychologist to get advice on what strategies to use. I guess PDA strategies sound the way forward given the oppositional behaviours. In the future it might be that he needs an EHCP plan to allow more flexibility in the curriculum and to reduce anxiety for him. A different school might be a better fit so consider this option ignoring the Ofsted and look for features that might suit your son - when does he behave well and what would a school need to be able to do to achieve this. Try and work with the school - a good school will be prepared to listen to you as you know what works best with your son as you have been parenting him for four years.

But at the same time don't regard SS as a disaster if you do have to go this route in the future- it has done wonders for ds1. Our view is that he goes to SS now to give him the best chance of leading a successful, independent and happy life as an adult.

Thanks OneInEight. The school are really open and flexible at the moment, but none of us know what to do - so as you say the next step should be an education psychologist.

Good to hear your positive experience with SS and I'd certainly be very happy to send ds to one, if we can find the right place for him.