Play therapy sessions for ds - worried about psychologist

[Chocol8]

Sorry, this is a bit long...Back in February my ds and I were asked to attend a play therapy session as my ds was self harming (still is, but not as bad). The psych said that he wanted me out of the room at the appointment and he would call me the next day to discuss his findings. I was a bit nervous about this as my ds had been very violent toward me and I was worried that the psych could get hurt (he is quite old and there is no panic alarm).

He offered for me to stay with my ds and sit in the corner and not to interact with him, which I did. The psych did not call me until 3 weeks after by which time he had forgotten all the details and told me nothing of interest even when questioned.

Anyway, the next session was made for this Thurs and this morning was cancelled by his assistant. She cheerfully informed me that the psych had to attend a funeral and that he had said i "wouldn't be very happy about that". I said I understood, but then she said "he made me laugh, he said that if she (me) didn't like that, to tell her....ooh, I can't remember what it was but it was so funny!"
I said perhaps he told you to tell me he had died and she said "yes, it was something like that!"

If this is the level of professionalism have and can expect, then God help us all! Personally i think he was just peed off because I wanted to sit in on the session - and just to pee him of even more I will sit in on the next one and insist he call me the next day with his "findings".

Am I being paranoid or are there good services out there - perhaps just not in my area? I am severely annoyed, can any one help me or am I just being silly?

sounds like an idiot to me. and his assistant sounds stupid as well. can u ask to see someone else?

I don't know why there are two conversations...my pc went a bit strange and gave me a weird message when I tried to post it.
If anyone is able to tell me how to get rid of it I would be very grateful as it was not intentional at all.

Thanks for your suggestion Misdee, but if I cancel or make a fuss, it will be all noted down and bought up later - I have had this happen before and then they threatened not to give you any more appointments if I "couldn't be bothered to turn up for them". Very frustrating.

I'd be annoyed too, to be honest. For starters you have a right to be there while your child is being assessed. You shouldn't be made to feel as though you're somehow in the way. To then 'forget' what happened is totally unprofessional. Didn't he make notes??

It's understandable that he would want to go to a funeral but the assistant should have been more professional. An aplology would have been appropriate - not an admission that they'd been joking about what you might say in response! Grrrrrr!

Hi chocol8, Well I suppose you could say he has a strange sense of humour. I have been to a phsy recently with my ds and they do like to work with the child alone as they can tell alot by this. I was called back into the room a little while later with ds outside of the room to discuss his findings. I thought ds might object to this but he was really well behaved. I thought the phsy was very good and made alot of sense what he said about ds. I don't know if this helps you but this was my experience. larsxx

Oh I get cross with this "shunt the parent out of the way crap". It's so patronising!

My son does see people by himself (well no actually he doesn't- but he sees them with teachers + the assessor- minus me). But I always try to meet with the person who has carried out the assessment immediately afterwards. Most volunteer this without needing to be asked. Where it hasn't been possible I've always been phoned within a day for a discussion.

Can't you switch to a different therapist?

Jimjams, I know what you mean about the 'shunt the parent out of the way'. But although I didn't feel to great at first about this, I think it did help me and ds. But as you said they usually call you back to discuss their findings or at least ring you. larsxx

Yes, if ds1 is assessed without me there, eg when someone observes him at pre-school, I usually get either a phone-call or a written report.

Can you go back to your paed or gp and ask to be referred to someone else?

No Chocol8 you are not being silly at all, they may take it all as a bit of a joke but taking for your child for psych therapy is no laughing matter. I agree with lou33's advice, ask to see someone else in future, if this is possible. I have in the past. I was unhappy with the Professor (his name has been mentioned on mumsnet before) that my dss saw a few years ago for a medical problem he had at the time. I didn't like him, his superior attitude and in particular the way he spoke to dss who was only 5. I asked if he could be referred somewhere else, through my gp, and it was arranged no problem. Good luck.

Thank you for your replies...as usual, good suggestions. I have changed my ds' paed before but that was because we had reached shouting point and she was an idiot (she wouldn't dx ADHD if I was unwilling to give my son Ritalin). Prior to this I had to write and cancel the family and child mediation staff we had (he was 3, and this was all they could offer me - it didn't help one bit). If I change this psych it will put me on the list of parents "unwilling to accept help", and therefore no more appointments for bad old me! (would that really be a loss...I dunno!)

What gets me is that for many years I have fought single-handedly to get my ds dx and spent the majority of my work holiday entitlement each year at appointments for the specialist, the doctor, the hospital, the paed, the consultants etc etc. I have done EVERYTHING in my power to get the best help for my ds.

The problem is that having gone through all that, the help is still, in my mind substandard!
I am - out of desperation - going to attend the appointment at the end of this month and insist I stay in the room for the session. I will then insist he talk to me the next day by phone to give me his opinion. If I feel that he is not doing the best for my ds, then I will request a change of paed.

By the way, they do have video equipment so that the session can be viewed by the parent in another room but would not use it. However, they have no staff - even during 9 - 5pm that are trained to mind the child for 10 minutes whilst they speak to the paed...great service for a "specialist" unit eh?