Emotional Mummy with autistic son starting primary school. advice please?

[Shootingstar2289]

My son is 4, although he has not been diagnosed with ASD, it's pretty obvious he has it. We are awaiting his EHC to be completed so he can get funding for one to one but this will not be completed untik October time apparently.

He is starting school next week in a mainstream primary school but I am worried sick. The pre-school he went to was fab and work closely with the primary school and they know what to expect and meetings have been held but no one to one yet.. but two TA's in the class which is great but it's a class of 20..

He has started to talk a lot more but still severly delayed.. So I'm worried they will not understand his wants when he tries to communicate. He struggles with his behaviour - not being able to sit still for too long and no sense of danger or boundaries. He has a mind of his own. I'm worried he will just wander off out the classroom to another part of the school. He often screams to communicate which will disrupt the class. If he doesn't wAnt to do something, he won't. If he wants to do something he shouldn't, he's a nightmare.

He knows his numbers and colours but has not picked up the alphabet or shapes very well.

He is also very affectionate and cuddly. Pre school staff cuddled him but he's not going to get this attention at school.

I am so worried he's going to be so misbehaved at school and they won't be able to control him.

They used visual aids, spot timers and visual timetables at pre-school but the senco at the primary school didn't seem interested in this when we met her.. She was a horrid rude lady considering she is a teacher and the Senco.

Anyone been through this? And can offer advice..

If he needs 1:1, they can get one within 24 hours and funding isn't an issue whatever they might claim. Schools are given an SEN budget and are expected to fund the first £6k of any provision for any child, which will more than cover you until October.

If you are sure your child's welfare is of concern or his start at school will be unsuccessful without a 1:1 you can refuse to send him until it is in place.

Please remember though that 1:1 is just a person. Unless specified in his plan this person won't necessarily have knowledge beyond babysitting,

If you are not comfortable that the SENCO has given you enough information or put in ace enough provision for his safety (mental as well as physical) don't send him until she does.

That's interesting what you say QueenStarlight about funding not being an issue - sorry to semi-hijack Shootingstar2289, we have a similar situation. In our transition meeting with the primary school, we and the nursery senco said that DS would have to have 1to1 as he is so oppositional and poorly behaved. The school said they could not provide 1to1. So I'm very apprehensive and not optimistic about their ability to manage him - let alone teach him anything.

Have you thought of sending your son in for just a few hours a day at first Shootingstar2289?

You need to get these dialogues in writing.

Dear SENCO, though previous setting recommended 1:1, you, x person, told me at meeting on y date that you could not provide it. I am increasingly worried by this and would ask you please to clarify your reasons so that I can understand better and be reassured that my child will be safe and educated whilst in your care.

If they ask for a meeting then you can either agree, then make your notes to again send to them for clarification, or you can suggest that you would find it easier to process the information if they wrote it down in response to your letter.

ALWAYS get documentary evidence of what is said, even if is you writing to them to clarify you understood the conclusion of a meeting correctly.

You can be assured that all of your meetings and conversations with them will be documented by THEM.

Have you been asked to fill in a form for Section A of the EHCP, and have you explained all those points in that? If so, send the school a copy. If not, ask the LA for the form and do it now!

Likewise, have you got copies of any professional reports done for the EHCP and the nursery report that you can send the school?

Either way, contact someone like SOS SEN for advice on the EHCP as a lot of
LAs are producing really bad EHCPs.