Son been diagnosed with autism last month

[Xena1985]

I am a mother to two boys, one who is four years and a half and one who is just two months.

Last month my eldest son was diagnosed with autism. As a mother I kind of felt deep inside that something was a bit not right as he was quite speech delayed but has caught up very well now. My mother and husband brushed off my concerns as me being a paranoid mum etc.

My son has no major behavioural problems and is so so well behaved I can take him anywhere and he does not cause me any issues to restaurants, malls, cinemas, theatre everywhere. He plays so well with my friends kids etc and is seen as having a big personality is funny and has really come on leaps and bounds in terms of his communication...

In all the assessments he has done occupational, paediatric etc they mentioned things which he does with us which is why I am slight confused, things like eye contact they said it was fleeting, social referencing etc he is usually very good at that so this is what is confusing us.. Also at nursery they say he is a bit forceful within his play doesn't interact with other kids etc but I see he does outside nursery.. So this is what we are confused about!

I am in two minds as I acknowledge he is delayed for sure but I feel autism is a big word. So either I'm in denial and I don't know it though the issues they are saying I reallyyy genuinely don't see and that is for sure and I do feel like he acts differently when he is being assessed so I don't know...

He is going to reception in sep and was turned down an ehc plan though we didn't have a diagnoses at the time. Will his issues show more to me once he goes to reception?? Will he learn to read etc?? I'm lost at the moment ...

Any advice would be very much appreciated..

My sons problems have increased as he has got older. His problems were first highlighted in nursery and we didn't really see it. We were referred to speech therapists through school and we really thought they were over reacting.
Once we got in reception we were blindsided by an awful parents evening where his teacher had nothing positive to say about him. Each year at school got more and more difficult. We remained resistant and didn't even go for a CAMHs assessment because we were concerned about stigma.
In year 3 things came to a head and were he was excluded a couple of time and was getting more distressed and socially anxious. We went to GP and got CAMHs referral. The beginning of year 4 things blew up and he got 3 exclusions in 1st term. Then we applied for EHC plan. We got the EHC finalised in June. He was finally diagnosed with ADHD and ASD a week ago.
I have met other Verbal ASD children of around my sons age and they can all read.
Happy to chat if anything in my experience could be useful to you.

Many thanks for your reply. I think the most thing I'm confused about is that I thought children with autism get better due to interventions etc rather than their issues getting worse.. In your sons situation so u think his issues became more apparent coz of fitting in at school?sorry if I'm sounding ignorant this is all new to me !

We haven't had much in the way of intervention yet though. He has only just received a diagnosis and we are hoping CAMHs will be able to offer us something.
In year 3 we and school really started to work together much better and we agree interventions that could be done at school. Sadly these tended to be applied inconsistently and no matter how many times we requested things such as a safe space for him to use this did not happen.
At the beginning of year 4 we started a CAF and things like a safe space started to be addressed. Sadly it was too little too late and he had meltdowns resulting in exclusions. His teacher was lovely tho and we finally got in through to them that he did not feel safe at school and he needed somewhere out of view to calm down when he was getting over stimulated.
After his last exclusion he was pulled out of the classroom altogether for a week and then reintroduced slowly. This helped him out of the cycle.
He was then prescribed melatonin and that helped him get more sleep and made it easier for him to cope.
Since Christmas he has really improved. He is managing to get to his safe space before he melts down. He has made friends and is managing on the playground much better.
In short my lad went through reception, year 1 and 2 without us knowing he had high functioning autism. So his issues got worse and his feelings about school were really negative. Year 3 and 4 were hard but we are really addressing his issues and he is coping better.
You will know from the start of his schooling and so hopefully will have an easier time of it.

Thanks for clarifying, I'm glad that things will all fall into place for him now and hope all works well for him too. A diagnosis though comes with mixed feelings does explain a lot perhaps and especially in terms of schooling this is why I accepted to be referred to see the child development team as though my son was ok with me I wanted him to have the best start at school as that's where his issues are

Hello,

Very first post, so forgive me if I'm doing this wrong. I would very much like to hear how things have gone for your little boy. (I do realize this thread is very old.) My little boy is in the exact same case as yours, and I'm very confused. I'd be very interested to hear if and when your son's difficulties became apparent. My little boy has started school with no support, no accomodations and no problems.