writing a will <pulling head out of sand>

[hazeyjane]

this is something that dh and i have been sticking our heads in the sand about, but we have decided to get on and do it.

One of the things that has been stopping us is having named guardians lined up if anything were to happen to both of us. We have sorted that now, and I feel a huge sense of relief to have asked the people we hoped would do it, and have them say yes, but we need to get it down in writing.

We also need to think about specifics wrt ds and his future care, I hate the thought of his sisters being left without any guidance.

So does anyone have any advice of the best way to go about this? Good resources to go to for advice?

Thinking about the future with regards to leaving our children is something that I try to avoid, so any advice, handholding etc, would be appreciated!!

It very important that you write a will but as I understand it a lot of what you are thinking about now isn't actual will 'stuff'. I think who looks after your child is decided by the court though they generally go along with the stated intention of the parents (you can't 'leave' someone a child in a will). It is a good idea to keep this along with any guidance with the will but don't let the fact you don't have this sorted in your head stop you making a will which lays out clearly where you want your assets to go. Best to speak to a solicitor about that.

Is that right, Bilberry?

The discussion that I had with a friend recently about this said that he had named guardians in his will, as if you don't the courts decide.

A guardian is someone you have named in your Will as the person you would like to be responsible for your children if they are orphaned before reaching the age of 18
If you fail to appoint guardians in your Will and your children are orphaned before they reach 18, the courts will appoint guardians instead...
(Society of Will Writers)

We have trustees and guardians named in our will but the solicitor told us that the guardians are a wish rather than something that can be enforced. This makes sense as situations change so guardians may stop being suitable, they may not have agreed or may never have been suitable. Apparently it is very rare for the courts to not agree but ultimately the courts have to decide what is best for the child and that may not be the same as what is written in the will (eg. Guardians may have died/moved away/gone to prison for neglecting their children). All I am saying is it is worthwhile writing a will for distributing your assets even if you haven't figured out the rest yet.

Hazey, have you seen Mencap's Trust advice? www.mencap.org.uk/our-services/wills-and-trusts
I went to one of their presentations but thought it wasn't for us.

Alternatively, a STEP (Society of Trust and Estate Practitioners) solicitor could also advise you of your options.