What made you suspect that your dd has autism/aspergers?

[Sunshine200]

I've suspected that dd has special needs since she was a baby. At 4 months she was referred to a pediatrician as she wasn't making eye contact (in fact avoiding our eyes!). They put it down to reflux and gave her meds which did eventually help. she never smiled at is until quite a bit older. Up until the age of 2 I was sure she had something, but at around 2 years her language was good and she was doing imaginative play so I stopped worrying. She is nearly 4 now and very hyperactive and strong willed. I recently read that the signs in girls can be very different than boys. I think she is displaying some signs but I may be paranoid because of her history.

I'd love to hear your experiences if you wouldn't mind sharing?

With dd, Dx this June aged 12 it was lack of interest in reciprocal play with others from an early age and difficulty expressing remorse or empathy or even verbalising her own feelings/pain.

My 5yo DD was recently diagnosed with ASD (Aspergers). I had to to go private to get the diagnosis though.

The main red flags for us were her emotional volatility, she would burst into tears and run away screaming at the smalled of things (she's demand avoidant). She also could not cope with any change, any change to her routine would result in horrendous behaviour and a meltdown.

That was all when she was 2 years old.

By the time she was 3/4 the above continued but her sensory issues started becoming more apparent and we started linking her behaviour up. She is a huge chewer and will chew anything she can ger her hands on.

We started noticing she was struggling socially with her peers, always a follower and would never initiate. She would literally stand on the edge of a circle jumping up and down but no one noticed her.

She also has selective mutism and anxiety and will not speak to any strangers, or even seeing a close family member out of context. So normally we see her grandma at her house, and bumping into her at the shops my DD wouldn't look at her or speak.

Her eye contact is actually ok, except when in a situation as described above and she will refuse eye contact.

DD also masks spectacularly, school see no problem with her and she has chameleon like tendancies. School are the reason we had to go private as the SENCo repeatedly told the Paed there was nothing wrong with her so we were discharged.

Sorry that was very long .

Ultimately you are her parent, and we just know.

Have a look at the NAS website. Tony Attwood has written lots on girls with Aspergers and I can relate to a lot of the stuff he has written.

Your DD doing imaginary play could be a red herring. Girls are very good at copying others and so she may just be mimicking what she has seen others do rather than actually having the imagination herself.

I showed the private Paed a video of my DD 'playing'. She had 2 lego figures talking to eachother, which seems normal for a 5 year old. Except she was speaking in an American accent and copying word for word a clip she had seen on YouTube!

Imaginary play is often a red herring. My DS (10 with HFA) seems to have imaginary play. What he does though is use play objects to act out scenes from TV programmes and you tube videos.

Have you tried encroaching on her play? Does she tell you what's happening, what you have to do? How does she react to your ideas or you moving the scene she's playing with? Does she pretend a cup is a boat for example or is a cup just a cup and used as a cup only?

I believe if parents sense something isn't quite right they are generally right. It's worth contacting HV as early intervention is always productive.

I have 4 dds v close in age, dd2 is the one who's awaiting diagnosis after almost 2 years of me pushing. Her behaviour from around 3yo was dire and I was unable to cope with it. I'd say she is demand avoidant. She's no.2 in birth order and I've seen each subsequent child surpass her on lots of levels (eg, she's very sensorial with food, after the toddler stage each dd was not interested in creating such a mess).

I'd say she has PDA. School says she is fine (great masker, reasonably clever, and, amazingly, v popular). She's a different girl out if the house with friends. She very much assumes the personality if the person she plays with. It's an unreal thing to observe. But her problems are v real and overwhelm our family on a daily basis.

Looking back, there were other signs (stims by rocking ever since 6 months). I never understood these as signs), and an amazing fear of strangers that from around 6 months. If someone came up to look at her and they were unfamiliar, her reaction was almost like she was being tortured! A loud and horrific shriek until the person moved.

I would have overlooked a number of other quirks or idiocincracies, as they were 'passive' iyswim, but her rigid behaviour/meltdowns are out of this world!

Incredible tamper tantrums for a yes or a no, I couldn't make sense of it and it was driving me mad. I eventually realised that any change of routine would create anxiety, any transition from one activity to another ( she would happily play in sand pit for hours and would scream the playground down when I would told her we were leaving, to this day I am still shaking when I see a playground!) socks and clothes a nightmare, getting ready in the morning was mission impossible, but I never thought about ASD seriously although it did cross my mind but I was very quick dismissing it. Only after her sensory issues were officially recognised did I read more about ASD and realised it was more difficult to pinpoint in girls.