another thread got me thinking about what i feed my boys... and for once i am not feeling guilty!
DS2 has AS and is very sensitive to texture/smell/taste of food...and i am constantly having to deal with meltdowns because something is not 'right'. The paed said he is 'Food Phobic"
in the past he has detected differences between types of potatoes...bread....cheese spread etc etc.... so for the last few years so many mealstimes have ended in tears.
then i finally hit the nail on the head....and had a sudden insight into why/when and how this developed....
in a nutshell...he was fine when i weaned him...and early days of finger feeding things like chunks of cooked veg...but as soon as we moved on to spoon feeding he refused to feed himself...so for ages we fed him- as at least he ate....then at 3 we decided 'enough was enough' (b4 we new he was autistic) and went cold turkey and I began only giving him foods which i knew he would eat...by himself...and with his fingers....and gradually...his diet cosisted of no veg...no fruit...no pasta...no fish....no beef....and you get the idea!!!!
so...he's 10 now... and for the past 3 years (once i new about autism) i have constantly/consciously gradually tweaked his food repatoir to the point that in some meals he is eating PEAS!!!!CAULIFLOWER!!!...and even managing to use a knife and fork!!
Now...for the 'insight' bit.... turns out he hates the feel of cuttlery as it screeches on plates...used to get bad tummy aches at meal times...looking back- think he was anxious.
'obviously' there are texture issues...and we discovered recently that if we serve his meal 1st...but sit him to table last...that he is happier as he hates warm food...so he'd rather eat a cold roast dinner...yuk!!! So for years we wre forcing him to 'hurry up and eat before it gets cold" when infact he was distressed at the thought of warm food!
then the 'big' moment was the other week.... i cooked our usual mince beef meal....and he ate it well (but as always i had removed all the peas from his portion)...and i put the remainder in the fridge for the next day.
so i made a cottage pie the next day...and when i came to serve it- i realsised it was too messy to start hunting for peas....so instead i went into the dining room...turned off the main lights...switched on the dimmer wall lights....put ds2's favourite pokemon tape on....and then set his meal (with peas) ...in the semi darkness.
he sat down.....he picked up his spoon and he ate. i thought...well he cant have found a pea yet...and waited for the moment he did!
After another mouthful i asked him how his food was...he said...the same as last night....and carried on eating!!! He did find a pea...but instead of the usual meltdown....he put it on the table!!!!
After he finished....i confessed... and got his agreement that he ENJOYED the meal...despite the peas...and that if he'd known he would have refused....
so we have since been 'working' on the fact that food can look/feel yucky...but taste yummy....
then i bought the wrong burgers...i realised as the smell of onions came out the oven! (I though 'OH! NO!!!!)
So as we had visitors..i simply piled the burgers on a plate with hotdogs...and left everyone to help themselves....walked away quick...and watched his face as he bit the burger! He paused...looked disgusted...then started chewing! Then asked for another!!!!
so what i am thinking is that HIS aniety about food became MINE...and we were in a viscious circle....both driving the anxiety.
so if this makes sense... you can see why i don't feel guilty about what junk he eats...i am just so proud of him that he is trying new foods.