Parents of children with ASD, what advice can you give me as a teacher?

[Imscarlet]

I will be teaching a child with ASD this coming year in a mainstream setting. While I know that every child with ASD is very different, I'd love your advice on what teachers have done that has made life easier and more enjoyable for your child at school and things that have caused upset or difficulties that I may never have considered.

[rogueantimatter]

What a brilliant thread. I hope you have a good time with your new class next term Imscarlet.

Mildly ASD DS got on well with teachers who had a calm and quiet manner; the hustly bustly ones who talked quickly and seemed to think he was deliberately doing work 'his own way' were difficult.

A bit like with teenagers, 'not sweating the small stuff' is really good advice IME. Eg DS teacher who laughed lightheartedly with DS about his foible of being (extremely) disorganised and forgetful made school life better for everyone. I think he felt accepted rather than being a problem.

He could tell that Mrs Hustly Bustly and the senior staff didn't like him.

If the pupil doesn't mind, check their bag. The number of times DS' teacher didn't get things she should have. If it's important that things go home and come back, go in the bag yourself!

Allow them to opt out of Christmas parties if they don't want to go!

IME ASD children are more work in some ways, but easy in others, eg they're very unlikely to be bitchy/come to you with squabbles etc.

[BiddyPop]

I agree with lots and hope to get back with specifics later.

I know that HADD (an ADHD support group in Ireland) have great tips on their website and a booklet for teachers (separate ones for parents).
www.hadd.ie/education/teacher-tips

DD has problems with loud noises and very unstructured things, so yard/pitch, drama and group work can be difficult for her. Some teachers have been better than others - letting her have a few minutes away from the bustle, or sending her to secretary or principle's offices with a message etc. She often has a seat in the table nearest the door on purpose, and is allowed to be at the back of the line (although she always chases to be at the front). When she had a teacher not so in tune, we were hearing that she was spending periods under the table and locked in the bathroom - at least she was pulling herself away rather than having a full on meltdown. So letting them have a space if there is a need to, helps.

Agree about specific instructions. And the potential for "just a minute" comments to be timed!!

If you can, get to meet the child (and parents if poss) either before school starts and talk to them about what helps them, or get a few minutes in the first day or so to touch base with them specifically. Let them know that if there is a problem like XXX or X, to talk to you about it. You cannot always fix it, but you want to help everyone learn and enjoy school. (Or something along those lines that fits).

Warnings slightly before activities change that you are going to finish up this and move on to that are great. If possible, and I know it's not always possible, give a warning that a planned activity or lesson will not happen or times for it have changed, before that specific change comes.

Watch the child, when you can, for the first little bit and get an idea of them relaxed and happy, and how they are when more anxious - to get an idea of the things that make them happier, things that stress to prepare more for, and also the behaviours that will give you a short warning that you need to defuse a situation (give them an "out" before meltdown hits). That may be finishing up an activity, giving a slightly longer time to finish it, splitting up 2 or more people, giving the ASD child an alternate task or sending them out of the classroom on a job to give them a breathing space...etc.

And at the same time, acknowledge that the whole room cannot be held to account by 1 child. So let the ASD child know early on as well that you will give them as much help and attention as you can but you need to do the same for each of the children in the class, so there will be times they need to wait etc.

In DD's class, there are jobs that are rotated every week amongst all the children. One teacher occasionally let a non-rota child do some jobs for an easy life if they asked (a kind of "I want to do X", "oh, alright, whatever" situation) - which did lead to meltdowns at home on more than 1 occasion as DD got very upset someone else was doing her job. So if you do set jobs for people, try to let those people do them unless they are absent.

If there are big things happening out of the ordinary, try to give a heads-up on that in advance if you can. Either letting the class know as a whole, or even just a note home to parents to let them know to prep the DC for the following day if you don't want to let everyone know - external visitors, unexpected outings, nurses for jabs, changing of tables groups, absence of normal teacher (and whether that means all splitting between the other classes or a sub coming in), big surprise visitor to assembly that would be hugely exciting but noisy and chaotic, etc. It doesn't always mean explaining in detail, or letting the cat out of the bag about surprises - and some things can't be known in advance anyway - but a chance for preparing the child for something different is always useful. And the parents can often tell if something needs to be said or not - sometimes it doesn't matter but if there are other stresses happening (at home or school), then preparation may be vital.

Also, if you can, have a line of communication with the parents. We hear about some of the achievements, so we can praise them when they happen. We hear a selection of the problems, so that we can work on specifics to solve them (we never talk to DD about things that have happened in school unless we are asked to - but we might work a bit more on a specific thing on "how to share nicely" or "how to tell someone that you don't want to change the rules in the game today but can change them tomorrow" if we hear that there are problems in that area). It ALSO means that we can let the teacher know if there are problems at home - one of us is travelling a lot so DD is missing us, a big row with friend on the street in a different school, upcoming BIG events that DD is getting anxious or upset about (family weddings, ill relatives or bereavements etc - luckily no one directly involved yet, but DD has had 2 GGPs (my GPs) die in the past 5 years so knew them all). So the teacher then knows that there is less tolerance than normal for the everyday issues and also can have a chance to have a few extra things to help out up her sleeve (make sure resource time happens, keeps some jobs/notes to give non-classroom time, keeps a special watch during group work or sets a slightly different task that may be less challenging but still achieves the learning objective, or maybe puts off 1 task until another day).

OK, I think I found time for a few specifics!

We have certainly found that DD is challenging - but school run a "lego club" for half of big break 3 days a week for a good few with problems in yard. The secretary and principle have lots of notes coming from most classes - some of which are just "X needs a walk". And they break up the groups too, so there are DCs wandering all day for different reasons (going to learning support, smaller groups for maths and reading split across the 2 classes per year (so mixing both classes), doing lots of activities in the hall/yard/garden or even wider campus, and bringing in outside opportunities like animators visiting the 3rd level College they share the campus with or visiting scientists or sportspeople). They are mainstream but have a number of ASD and other SN DCs, and plenty of other, non-DX, challenging DCs too. But they try their best to support them all and live up to their ethos of inclusivity and child-centred learning and development.

Its really great when the teachers do want to engage though, and luisten to the parents as to how their DC "ticks", their foibles, their stressors, and how to get the best out of them.

[BiddyPop]

DD also has a fidget pencil (it has a plastic nut and bolt on the top that she can twist up and down it - there are others available). She has a squishy frog in her bag to squeeze, but won't use it mostly. But its there and has been used on rare occasions.

She also sits on a cushion which has little buttons sticking up, and wibbles, which helps her sit still. Most teachers are a bit tolerant of her walking once her work is done - so coming up to the desk to hand in work rather than waiting for teacher to come down.

She also is very fast to do her work (and scrawly) - once it;'s been redone to a high enough standard, she can read her book (a few others are quick and have the same option) at her desk or beside the library trolley. But if it's illegible (even if its right), she will be sent back to do it again.

[Lancelottie]

One from me:
If you are calling the register, it may be something she dreads answering and rehearses in her head to the point that no sound comes out when it's actually her turn. (I thought this was just me, until DS described exactly the same daily mounting panic, 30 years later.)

It might help just to look at her and say 'Maisie... yes, you're here' and move on.

[Pointlessfan]

I thought of another...
I don't know if you set homework at that age - perhaps spelling/reading?
I know several ASD kids who just won't do homework at home because they see home and school as completely separate and the two shouldn't mix. It can therefore help if there is a homework club once a week or something that they can stay to. Ours is after school Mon-Thurs but that's secondary school. You could maybe do a lunchtime club or something.
Remember too that ASD children need firm boundaries even more than other children. It can be very confusing otherwise. You should still have high expectations of her behaviour etc within the confines of their abilities and understanding.
Something I find really difficult is if an ASD student has done something that other students would get into trouble for but they perhaps have no control over (like the lashing out example described by pp). It can be very hard if the other students in the class think they are getting away with bad behaviour. I'm afraid I don't have a good answer to this problem but it is something you should think about before you start teaching her so that you have a strategy in mind should the problem arise.
Will you have any external agencies working with her? They can be very helpful with this sort of issue using social stories - worth a Google search.

[Lancelottie]

Again, be prepared to adjust to the child. DS loathed social stories with a passion.

[YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet]

Hello OP, we are going to move the thread at your request to the SN Children topic.

Thanks

[DarkEvilMoon]

Be aware that a lot of asd kids who are aware they are different don't want to be and can be resistant of things that can help them if it makes them stand out as different.

[Imscarlet]

Thanks to HQ for moving this post, I realised that I put it in chat and it would disappear. Silly me! That's really interesting that your ds is not a visual learner zzzz as any children with ASD I've come across in the past have been such visual learners! I will be moving to a new school, I have some experience in the school but haven't met the child before. She has been there for about 4 years though so is well established. I'm hoping to pick up lots of info from her previous teachers and I hope to meet with her parents before starting.

[Lancelottie]

How old is she? Four years into Primary is a bit different from Year 10!

[Imscarlet]

Four years into primary, about 8/9 years old.

[post]

So much wonderful advice, op, and I'd add: Find your joy and delight in her.

So many of our children spend a lot of time feeling in the way, 'getting it wrong', treated as if they're being deliberately awkward, and just about managing to get from one day to the next in school: just feeling plain disliked.

Make the effort to meet her more than halfway, appreciate how wonderful she is, how well she's doing when it's all that much harder for her than for everyone else. My ds always knows when people are doing that, and it means so much to him in terms of trusting them, and he's then that much more likely to try something new.

[Ineedmorepatience]

Hi OP, and thanks for asking!

I have a Dd who has struggled massively all the way through school she has never had a voice or been able to express herself to adults at school!

If the girl you are going to teach speaks a lot at home or with other children but not with you, try adapting the way that you form a relationship with you!

Give her the opportunity to trust you and build up enough of a relationship to be able to speak to you when she needs to!

I know its hard but its so important!

Good luck

[Ineedmorepatience]

"form a relationship with her" of course

[Ineedmorepatience]

Also sorry but , try not to measure her success by how well she fits in? Try measuring it by how happy she is!

[signandsingcarols]

everyone has made such fab points, (and as so many have said thank you OP for wanting to know!)

could I just add, if your pupil has one to one TA support hours, please don't use them as the class TA

[Mollyweasley]

All great advice!
I would add give her time to unwind after break and lunch time (break is not break for children on the spectrum, they are learning by themselves and unsupported, the hidden curriculum).

there is no problem too small- if she tells you she has a problem then 1)celebrate that she is sharing (this means she trusts you will help-good sign) 2) acknowledge this is a problem/worry and do all you can to support her (but make sure the solution does not make her stand out of the crowd, she might want to blend in) - it is very hard but worth it!)

[StarlightMcKenzee]

Engage in the true partnership model of working that means you and the parents are equal members of the team, instead of the usual 'outreach' version many schools like. That means a good and regular communication system, invitations from home for IEP targets and an acknowledgement that whilst you have been on the LA twilight propaganda course about managing children with ASD, the parents would actually prefer you to 'educate' them and will have probably committed many hours of their time attending courses, reading books, experimenting to figure out the best way of doing this.

Seek out evidence-based practice and pedagogy be avoid any references to Children with ASD being visual learners. There is no reputable evidence for this. In fact there is no evidence that any children are visual/auditory/kinaesthetic learners.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

It's helpful not to come out with cliché words like 'Velcro TA' or 'need to remove 1:1 to give independence'. Think about how you develop independence. It usually involves actual teaching which means increasing support not removing it (though of course it is removed eventually as part of a plan to ensure success).

Also, putting a child unsupported into a group of other children in the hope that they will learn social skills is not going to achieve that, as if the child was capable of that they'd never have got a diagnosis of ASD.

One fantastic idea that I came across was getting each professional or person who visited/observed/worked with the child on something specific to their need, would fill in a quick form with the date, name, time spent, what outcomes, recommendations etc. to be left in a file near the door of the classroom so that any other professional working with the child is able to flick through and see what the child is working on and what others have recommended, also it is available for the parent to flick through to work on the same things at home.

[Imscarlet]

I'm really interested to hear about the cliches, because I want to be super

[Imscarlet]

Sorry, posted too soon, I want to be super aware of these kind of things so I have plenty of time to consider and mull over my own preconceptions and examine them. I really appreciate all the advice you have all given me and please do tell me about things that have annoyed you and made you upset and angry because these are things that I could do without realising it and realising the impact it has on your life.

The statement that you are the experts has had a really powerful impact on me and how I would approach meeting the parents for example.


We are not in the UK so luckily there is no talk of funding. The child is assigned the equivalent of a TA when they start school and while that is reviewed annually, they child normally has that support until the leave primary school, I would also expect that the child would get 5 hours one to one with another teacher. We don't have TA's as a matter of course so they do, in the vast vast majority of cases really work one to one with the child.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

okay! lol.

'But I do have 29 other children in my class!' (Not with the same level of need and if you are not enough on your own then you need to call in support)

'I just want what is best for your child' (You probably do. Most teachers do. But it is not comparable to the 'good enough' that a parent wants that has them spending sleepless night after night trying to work out how to ask for a small piece of support or adjustment without cashing in one of your patience points or being accused of being 'over-anxious')

'She's was fine!' as a response to 'how did she cope with x,y or z'. Be honest. Perhaps you didn't notice how she coped because she didn't appear to have a problem but you'll look out for next time. If she struggled with something but you resolved it say so. The parent might have a suggestion for something that might work faster/as a preventative for next time. 'Fine' doesn't mean anything and it is the parents responsibility legally and morally to ensure that the child's education and welfare are appropriate for them so they need the information to be able to do that job.

'No-one here has full-time TA/ECHPs/lunch-time club/is allowed to bring in their own snack/can leave the room on request'. Blanket policies are illegal and so is refusing to make reasonable adjustment for a child with a disability. It is better to discuss with the parent the outcome that they are seeking or feel is needed and find a solution to it that doesn't necessarily have to be what the parent suggested.

If you think a sitting spot is a good idea, the whole class must do it. I was not impressed when I went in for a phonics display to find the whole class sitting on the carpet with just ds sitting on a green spot. If you do something like this without thinking and it is noticed, take the parent concerns seriously, state the problem that this is a solution to and ask them if they can think of a better way.

No doubt this child will give you additional time resource problems. If you get the choice or chance, spend those precious minutes with the parents rather than the LA EP/Autism Advisory/SALT as neither teachers nor parents have any confidence in what they have to say most of the time.

I wonder at the nonsense of a parent needing something needs to be done but the school won't do it until the EP comes in which takes forever meaning the child deteriorates during the wait and requires even more support. Then there are all the TAC meetings and professional meetings and report writing and SENCO meetings and all that is needed is for the child to be supported at the beginning and end of a school day collecting their things together.