Parents of children with ASD, what advice can you give me as a teacher?

[Imscarlet]

I will be teaching a child with ASD this coming year in a mainstream setting. While I know that every child with ASD is very different, I'd love your advice on what teachers have done that has made life easier and more enjoyable for your child at school and things that have caused upset or difficulties that I may never have considered.

[shazzarooney99]

I think its amazing that you are asking, one thing i would say is be careful not to judge the parents, i have a son who seems to do ok in school,however he doesnt, he keeps it pent up till he gets home and then he explodes! with a lot of violence rom him and yet school dont get this so its easy for them to think its parenting, however its not.

From a proffesional side i would say do not escalate behaviour, you need to de escalate it before you have a full blown meltdown depending on the chid,also give the child a time out card if they are feeling particulary stressed and want to leave the classroom for 5 mins for a break,they can be very hard to read,my son is,he gets an anxious face and teacher has realised this,which is cracking hes picked up on it. Also just make sure they are doing ok academically and not struggling,i always get my son is doing fine, but then hell come hom and tell me hes struggled with work espcially stuff like fairytales where they have to make up some of the story on theyre own they really struggle with this.

His teacher this year has been amazing and she has been helping him out, we have been using a home school diary to which is great for the teacher to see what his behaviour is like at home.

[shazzarooney99]

Also give the child something to fiddle with perhaps a stressball or something,sometimes they like fiddling with things.

And have some sensory items in your classroom.

[Imscarlet]

I just wanted to thank you all for such valuable insights and information. I've read this thread though from the start again an I will read it many times before September comes. You are all wonderful!

[Lancelottie]

I'mScarlet, I think you'll be great, because the very first thing a teacher needs is to be prepared to listen to the child and family.

Meanwhile, here's a rather appropriate linky for you that just popped up on my Facebook. Note the point about letting the child know you like them.

[TalkingOwl]

Like the OP I will have a child with ASD in my class next year. I've found this thread very insightful and am glad I came across it. You've all given me lots to think about and I now have a list of questions to discuss with their parents. Thank you OP and thank you to everyone who responded.

[JsOtherHalf]

The department of education in Northern Ireland has a good booklet on the classroom environment regarding children on the autism spectrum.

www.deni.gov.uk/08_the_autistic_spectrum.pdf

[DarkEvilMoon]

Which comes back to the point each individual child is very very different!

"Most of that is utterly depressing reading So much opinion and stereotype declared as fact." this is the problem with MOST official stuff!!

My ds would walk out of your classroom and refuse to attend school if the majority of that was put in place. It would be unhelpful and trying to get him on side and convince him you were understanding his needs as a result would be almost impossible!

[StarlightMcKenzee]

I've just read that booklet from cover to cover in horror and now I'm utterly TERRIFIED that my child will be returning to Primary School from Home Education.

How can I make it stop!!!!!

[StarlightMcKenzee]

Has anyone run those kinds of booklets by parents, or you know the kinds of parents that 'know stuff'???

I'm struggling enough with my child's return to school (who does very well without all of that bollocks everywhere else despite moderate ASD and severe a Language disorder) without worrying that he'll be subjected to all those outcome-less teacher-occupying tasks.

[Imscarlet]

Why did you decide to send your child back to school starlight?

[StarlightMcKenzee]

HEing a child with SEN is expensive and without respite.

The school he will go to kind of appeared as an option though we weren't looking for one and the staff appear flexible and accommodating. The unit is new and has money.

His SALT says that his next step is to have more intimate relationships with children he sees daily.

But however good a school is, if they've had that booklet training AND are going to use it to underpin their assumptions, my child is stuffed. In that all that energy will go into implementing the suggestions of the book instead of on things that will help him learn, and then when he doesn't he and his ASDA will be blamed.

If I raise suggestions the teachers will get cross because they've spent all weekend unnecessarily laminating for my ds with good intentions and I'll seem both ungrateful and in denial of his needs.

[DarkEvilMoon]

Starlight a newish school with money has a point to prove to ofsted, they will be more likely to bend over backwards then a school and is ok and bumbling through imo. We are putting ds into a school that was slated for its sn but is very good across the board academically The measures they have suggested are tailored and they have impressed me with how they have dealt with ds - grasped he wants to be normal and normalised some of the things he can do to help himself eg waiting at ends of queues for assemblies, shown him quieter routes through the school. Talk to them about your concerns. I am considering printing that document and annotating it with what will cause problems and why for my meeting with his current school. Perhaps this might make you feel calmer and empowered?


"If I raise suggestions the teachers will get cross because they've spent all weekend unnecessarily laminating for my ds with good intentions and I'll seem both ungrateful and in denial of his needs."

mine does not want to stand out, he needs support and altered language, he does not need extra bits of shiny stuff to make him more of a target for the bullies, he needs you say it differently, to understand he needs help resolving conflicts, that you are going to have to explain the purpose behind that literacy task that uses made up language, that homework is normal and it is ok and expected to do homework outside of school but if he needs to he can ask to stay in a break to do it in school time instead (we don't have a homework club which would be better tbh), he needs strategies to be whole class in the main, you to consider that on photo day he is going to struggle to get into school and he will be late, at the end of the term he is going to be flipping out and wilder and this is not excitement but stress due to lack of structure.

Yes he needs some extra resources but he mostly needs understanding and a change in thinking. He essentially needs things for him not government standard things for children with different issues. I am pretty certain I will be spoiling for a fight with school on this one. I bloody hope not though.

It really comes down to the fact that the system is trying to pigeon hole a 3D scale of issues. One size can't fit all. What we as parents need most is teachers who are prepared to find out what our child needs rather than to assume they know. Ie suggest ideas but be flexible to listen and adjust based on advice.

[Teawaster]

Don't assume an ASD child always has general learning difficulties. Many have average or above average intelligence but have specific difficulties that make life difficult for them in a classroom setting and therefore they underperform. With the right level of support they can achieve results appropriate to their level of intelligence

[StarlightMcKenzee]

I'm hopeful, and scribbling though that booklet with why it is all bollox for ds (and provides no links to any research that suggests it isn't bollox for most) might be a good idea but it does seem a bit hostile.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

Bollox for my ds is what I said . It may work for your ds but your ds is one child (as is mine) not 'most'.

The booklet is very prescriptive, providing variants on a theme rather than an individualised approach to education for children with ASD.

[Imscarlet]

I don't know any teacher who would take one piece of information or guidance and apply it prescriptively. We are information and resource junkies, we pull ideas from everywhere. That booklet is for Northern Ireland, it is quite possible your school will never even have encountered it.

The single most important thing I took from the advice given in this thread is communication. Your child could be coming to me in September and I'm here looking for advice and ideas, not banging on about this one thing that I want to stick to. Talk to the teachers, tell them what doesn't work for your child, tell them what does. I can't see that they wouldn't want your child to have the most positive educational experience possible.

Also, and I mean this in the best possible way, but I can pick up that you are very anxious about this and I think that you are expecting this to fail and you are expecting to have a big fight on your hands. Try not to approach it that way, look for the positives.

[Imscarlet]

I get that. But at the same time, I think that if you can frame it in your mind as a positive step and something that will be worthwhile and beneficial for the child, it may well turn out to be that way. I was responding to starlights anxiety that the document linked would be in force in the school that her child will go to. There is nothing to suggest that it will be. There may be other issues that will occur that she has never anticipated and there may be very concrete issues that will become apparent very quickly. But that document is a red herring and I don't think that it is worth stressing out over that document when the school may never have even encountered it.
I can't imagine how difficult it would be to release the responsibility of my child's education to someone else in those circumstances, and if it were me I would also be full of anxiety.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

'Talk to the teachers, tell them what doesn't work for your child, tell them what does.'

My experience is that it is a rare teacher that hears what you say or prioritises the time to listen. A booklet like that might not be the sole source but what if it underpins the LA a Autism a Advisory service advice and LA training? Where would the parents ideas stand then?

As zzzzz has mentioned, if a teacher has spent considerable time and energy making resources that they have been told your child needs there is very little capacity for additional or different ideas. Teachers rarely choose parents as their source of info. over their colleagues.