Parents of children with ASD, what advice can you give me as a teacher?

[Imscarlet]

I will be teaching a child with ASD this coming year in a mainstream setting. While I know that every child with ASD is very different, I'd love your advice on what teachers have done that has made life easier and more enjoyable for your child at school and things that have caused upset or difficulties that I may never have considered.

[DarkEvilMoon]

Be aware of the kids who are manipulative to wind up the aspie to get a reaction to get them in trouble. Don't just punish the reaction, punish the winder upper too.

[AlanPacino]

When you have meetings do also mentally prepare a list of the good things. Don't spend 30 mins talking about their difficulties without being able to mention some of their achievement. Children with ASD are swimming upstream and their parents occasionally need to hear professionals praising their children.

[howtodrainyourflagon]

Things that super teachers and TAs have done for my child:

1. Asked me "how can we get ds to use the school toilets" (answer: bribe with sweet jar. Problem fixed in the course of one school year)

1. Persevered with teaching my extremely bright but extremely uncooperative ds to write, not using his an as an excuse for him not achieving his potential.

1. Worked Agatha Christie style to discover why ds got so distressed in history lessons. (Answer: in a history trip early in the year he dropped a marble on the bus on the way there and didn't find it again)

1. Boosted his self confidence by finding things that he can do.

1. Not seeming to mind that ds doesn't give the same sort of feedback as another child: he can be really liking something or really bored and you can't always tell the difference from his reaction.

[snowgirl29]

I agree with a PP about if child seems fine at school. Mine seems fine at school most of the time and as such remains undiagnosed. Despite the fact he's glaringly obvious to everyone else. (Meltdowns etc - roaring etc).

Sadly. We've had a horrible experience with our School and Paeditrician, and as I pointed out to someone the other week, having a supportive school who is honest and open from the start can make a tremendous difference.

You sound like a wonderfully supportive Teacher and I've no doubt you'll look after this little girl fabulously. Ask the Parents what her triggers are and how they work to avoid them.

[DarkEvilMoon]

Also if a child has had a bad experience you are going to have to gain their trust for interventions to work properly

eg if a child has been told to notify if they are struggling but it is always stressed to them they should try to work through it, rather than being removed, then the child will think it pointless mentioning they are struggling. Telling them they need to say something will do nothing to convince them there will be action taken on them doing so.
iyswim.

Hopefully the child you are supporting has had an ok experience, but if you you will have to undo damage/past experiences to make progress and it might not be what you are doing that is wrong but more the experiences of the child that makes it viewed differently than it is meant

[Imscarlet]

I think one very important thing you have made me consider is that the parents experience of their child's educartion to date may well have been negative and I'm going to give some thought to that before meeting with them as they may have the very same anxiety that you have starlight. It was something I hadn't considered.

[WaftingWillberry]

Can I put in a mention about the fact that there will probably be kids in your class who have undiagnosed ASDs / SENs?

If you spend any time on these boards you'll pick up on just how hard it can be for even very motivated parents to get their children on the road to proper diagnosis and support. A lot of kids who are 'always in trouble' or seen to be 'making a fuss about nothing' will have undiagnosed neurodevelopmental or mental health issues which the school is either oblivious to or dismisses due to lack of understanding or resources.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

Yes. Adaption is essential. If you imagine it's a warm Friday afternoon and, as soon as you finish your report you can join your colleagues for company-funded drinks on a terrace across the road. You're likely to work efficiently.

However, the same reward is NOT going to get you efficiently out of bed on an early cold and rainy Monday morning.

Don't be confused if 'rewards' seem not to work. You have probably chosen the wrong one at the wrong time.

[DarkEvilMoon]

Which is interesting as we are actively looking to remove ds from school for as a direct results of our experience of so called interventions by the school. Which is why I said to listen and adapt. Because what works one week/month won't necessarily work months/years down the line as the child progresses. And sometimes you need to go backwards to go forwards in the long run.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

I think you have had the response you have had here, because you have been decent enough to ask. Sorry about that.

I hope it doesn't tarry your enthusiasm because it will be a lucky child that is on the receiving end of it.

I post a lot about my experiences within education in particular (as do many across this board) and will try and remember to come by here, as you have asked. It is my intention that my son will spend the remaining 3 years of his primary education at this new school. It appears to be their intention too. It's a good start as both sides know that isn't what history says will happen. The 'will' therefore is stronger than ever ON BOTH SIDES.

I wish you the best of luck with your new pupil (and her parents!).

[Imscarlet]

You know what zzz and starlight, you both have a lot more experience than I have in this regard and it sounds like your roads have been difficult. I'm sorry that this has been your experience and starlight I really really hope this works out for you and I'd love if you would come back to this thread and update me on how your child is getting on. I'm getting caught up in my own enthusiasm for helping this child and not taking into account your own real life experiences and I apologise for that.

[MairOldAlibi]

Much of that booklet stuff could work pretty well for a dc with ASD if it were the standard approach being used for every dc across the school. Because a lot of it is actually fairly straightforward teaching techniques.

It is just for NI, but it's a reasonable summary of what all the local authorities teach staff to do "for ASD". And as a bolt-on for a random ASD dc in an otherwise unmodified classroom, it may be of far less benefit than listening really carefully to the parent (and dc) about their specific needs.

[MairOldAlibi]

The stuff which worked best for ds1 often benefitted the whole class too. Eg

1. a daily timetable stuck on the whiteboard, and frequently referred to
   
2. pre-warning, reminding and explanations for any variation of routine
   
3. crystal-clear instructions, and not too many of them
   
4. NO homework, or a little bit daily (40 min twice a week is disasterous)
   
5. zero-tolerance of bullying or teasing
   
6. academics and other class work: careful breakdown, logical structuring
   
7. finding the strengths, and using them to get round the weaknesses (eg literacy: giving DS1 non-fiction writing tasks, rather than imaginative ones)
   
8. formally teaching the class 'how to pack your schoolbag'
   
9. extra supervision and help at playtime/lunchtime

[StarlightMcKenzee]

'I can't see that they wouldn't want your child to have the most positive educational experience possible.'

I can't see that either. I don't think my son has ever had a teacher or TA that didn't.

'Also, and I mean this in the best possible way, but I can pick up that you are very anxious about this and I think that you are expecting this to fail and you are expecting to have a big fight on your hands.'

You picked up correctly on my anxiety but not on my expectations. This will be my child's 7th educational
placement. One might argue that optimism was now quite ridiculous, but despite being offered a discussion about financial support from the LA to continue HE, here I am trying school once more.

However, one shouldn't have to 'look for the positives' of a school placement. They should be plain to see. This time they do appear to be which is why we are trying it. Not least because I think this new school is brave to take us on with my son's history and because they have asked for a report from me on what I think has gone wrong on previous occasions. Many local schools have refused him a place.



Also, and I mean this in the best possible way, but I can pick up that you are very anxious about this and I think that you are expecting this to fail' and you are expecting to have a big fight on your hands. Try not to approach it that way, look for the pTry not to approach it that way, look for the p

[StarlightMcKenzee]

'Talk to the teachers, tell them what doesn't work for your child, tell them what does.'

My experience is that it is a rare teacher that hears what you say or prioritises the time to listen. A booklet like that might not be the sole source but what if it underpins the LA a Autism a Advisory service advice and LA training? Where would the parents ideas stand then?

As zzzzz has mentioned, if a teacher has spent considerable time and energy making resources that they have been told your child needs there is very little capacity for additional or different ideas. Teachers rarely choose parents as their source of info. over their colleagues.

[Imscarlet]

I get that. But at the same time, I think that if you can frame it in your mind as a positive step and something that will be worthwhile and beneficial for the child, it may well turn out to be that way. I was responding to starlights anxiety that the document linked would be in force in the school that her child will go to. There is nothing to suggest that it will be. There may be other issues that will occur that she has never anticipated and there may be very concrete issues that will become apparent very quickly. But that document is a red herring and I don't think that it is worth stressing out over that document when the school may never have even encountered it.
I can't imagine how difficult it would be to release the responsibility of my child's education to someone else in those circumstances, and if it were me I would also be full of anxiety.

[Imscarlet]

I don't know any teacher who would take one piece of information or guidance and apply it prescriptively. We are information and resource junkies, we pull ideas from everywhere. That booklet is for Northern Ireland, it is quite possible your school will never even have encountered it.

The single most important thing I took from the advice given in this thread is communication. Your child could be coming to me in September and I'm here looking for advice and ideas, not banging on about this one thing that I want to stick to. Talk to the teachers, tell them what doesn't work for your child, tell them what does. I can't see that they wouldn't want your child to have the most positive educational experience possible.

Also, and I mean this in the best possible way, but I can pick up that you are very anxious about this and I think that you are expecting this to fail and you are expecting to have a big fight on your hands. Try not to approach it that way, look for the positives.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

Bollox for my ds is what I said . It may work for your ds but your ds is one child (as is mine) not 'most'.

The booklet is very prescriptive, providing variants on a theme rather than an individualised approach to education for children with ASD.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

I'm hopeful, and scribbling though that booklet with why it is all bollox for ds (and provides no links to any research that suggests it isn't bollox for most) might be a good idea but it does seem a bit hostile.

[Teawaster]

Don't assume an ASD child always has general learning difficulties. Many have average or above average intelligence but have specific difficulties that make life difficult for them in a classroom setting and therefore they underperform. With the right level of support they can achieve results appropriate to their level of intelligence