Parents of children with ASD, what advice can you give me as a teacher?

[Imscarlet]

I will be teaching a child with ASD this coming year in a mainstream setting. While I know that every child with ASD is very different, I'd love your advice on what teachers have done that has made life easier and more enjoyable for your child at school and things that have caused upset or difficulties that I may never have considered.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

Oh. Didn't realise you weren't in the UK.

The system stuff doesn't really apply then perhaps!?

The one thing that always gets to me, is that it seems that professionals (not all of course) often imagine it must be utterly awful having a child with ASD so the relationship starts out with them 'sympathising' or telling me they know how hard things must be or some other such nonsense.

My life is what it is. It can be pretty hard just after diagnosis but after that it is the best I can make it and we have a normal that may not look normal to well, anyone else, but it has become so for us.

[ExtremelyStubbornAndSuspicious]

My have an 8 year old girl with ASD.

All kids with ASD are different so its difficult to give specific advice.

Speak to her parents, find out from them what her main difficulties are and how you can help. Also ask what her strengths and interests are.

Keep the parent's informed with how she's getting on. If she has a particularly difficult day let them know because it will impact her behaviour at home. Also tell them of any achievements.- often when you have a child with ASD you hear a lot of negatives, so it's nice to hear when things have gone well too.

[DarkEvilMoon]

I was thinking that perhaps discussing what reasonable adjustments that the child specifically needs with the parent might be worth while.

I was thinking about this today for ds and I could tell you the areas he is ok and is unlikely to need support, where he will need minor adjustment (eg awareness of choice of words etc), and where he will need intervention at some point. Parents are likely to have a good idea of what has and hasn't worked throughout her school career so far so it would be useful information. Although I suspect that the parent point of view will be different from the previous teachers' point of view in many cases.

[AgnesDiPesto]

Oh dear I have rather a lot of things that annoy!

Take time to get to know them 1 on 1 because they won't seek you out / show you what they know - you are going to have to find out. If you do you may find it the most rewarding child you have ever taught - these kids have a way of reeling you in. When you wait months or years for them to say or do something the feeling when they do it is amazing.

Get the 1:1 to do your job for 10 mins and take time out to sit down with them or their small group. You are their teacher as much as any other child.

Dont pretend you have done things with the child you haven't - it is very obvious to us at parents evening if you have had minimal involvement and left it all to the 1:1

Do know whats on their IEP not just file it somewhere and forget about it

Dont assume they can't learn - if they haven't learnt its probably because you haven't taught it in the way they can access it. We decided early on never to assume DS couldn't do something until we had tried everything and proved to ourselves he couldn't do it - there is nothing we have tried to teach he hasn't learnt - some of it took months or years but he has got there in the end.

Sometimes its not an inability to do it, its just they haven't understood the expectation - try writing it down as a set of rules - lists and ticking things off helps it may not have to be pictures.

They can be literal so say what you mean and mean what you say

Teaching them the routine of your class can take weeks so don't change it on a whim just as they have got it - if you want to change it prepare them in advance

Priming really helps - if you are going to do Goldilocks tomorrow get the 1:1 to do some work on it today then they are more likely to be able to join in. Sharing planning sheets with parents and 1:1 helps as can gather resources / prime at home / reinforce.

Repetition is crucial. Give them lots of opportunities to practice the skill. If they don't get it don't be afraid to pull them back and do it again - several times in a row if necessary. They will learn better with repetition than coming back to it once a week

Figure out at the start what their attention span is then start working up from there not from where the other children are. It might be 30 seconds and you work up to 1 min. Making them sit for 10 mins when their attention span is 1 is setting them up to fail. Always aim for just one step ahead of where they are at so they have lots of experience of being successful and rewarded for that and are more likely to progress.

Use rewards that are motivating for them. My DS has a token board and earns points (this is how we have expanded his attention span from 30 seconds to 30 mins). When he's earned his points he gets a choice of activity e.g. book corner, running round playground with 1:1, a go on computer. He isn't motivated by marbles in jars for the end of term or not being told off, or other children's disapproval. He will work for things that matter to him. He still has more breaks and different rewards than the rest of the class - the other kids accept it its not a big deal - we wouldn't have gone from 30 seconds to 30 mins if we hadn't individualised rewards and breaks

Playtime is work for them usually the hardest bit of the day. Its a confusing exhausting noisy mess. They may need downtime when they come in from playtime e.g. 5 mins in book corner.

Sticking with one thing until they have got it (in a linear / hierarchal way) often works better than the dipping in and out, coming back to it a few weeks later approach that seems to be the trend for other children. Working systematically through a list of skills and ticking them off one by one is more effective. Whats more you can share it with parents and reassure them they are making progress.

They really don't always need to know 3 different methods of multiplication - I would be happy with 1. Think about whats functional. Where do they need to get to by 18, what skills will they need, work back from that. Don't waste hours on the grid method … when in real life they will use a calculator - when you could be doing extra time on language etc

Don't get taken in by the hype of SEN products - numicon is fab but while it worked great for adding the concept of putting a small piece on top of a large piece and counting the holes that were left for subtraction made no sense - as far as he was concerned he was still adding the holes from both pieces together. Using counters and physically taking them away worked much better. If one thing doesn't work try it a different way. The internet is full of egs. Sometimes something gets put on the IEP as a resource to use and thats all that is used even when its not working.

Often outside professionals know very little at all - they have only been on a few 1 day courses too. Sometimes this makes them rude and defensive around parents as they know the parent knows more than them.

You are going to have to test what the child knows in different ways as they may not answer, not tune in, may just repeat back the last thing you said or have memorised the whole book word for word without any understanding. My DS rote learning ability tricks many experienced teachers all the time.

Teach the language of maths. My DS can do it numerically but word problems he can't do at all. Its a language not maths issue. 'circle the right answer' to my DS means circle the one on the right not the correct one! He can trip up on maths problems just because of the way the question is asked. One child at GCSE asked about the humour in a book wrote 'there isn't any' because they didn't find it funny. You are going to have to teach them to answer the question in the way a neurotypical person would expect them to interpret it not the way they necessarily would. In both these egs the child didn't actually get the question wrong given the way it was asked!

Do not assume they can't cope - my DS has never been allowed to speak in a school play even though he's fully capable. Yes he would have been too quiet / needed prompting etc but so were lots of the other children. Ask the parent what you think will work and give them the same chance of trying and failing as any other child. The year the teacher refused to let him speak one child ran out of the hall, one fell off the stage, 2 forgot their lines and several were too quiet to be heard but my ds was the only one not allowed to try. My DS got so bored in one school play when some children played the drums and there was one boy missing he grabbed the drumsticks and joined in in perfect time - but he's never been picked to play an instrument in an assembly / play either. Low expectations and assumptions of failure really really annoys us.

Dont inflict surprises on them - the number of times the lights have been turned off for assembly for father christmas or the visiting magician and the other kids whipped up to a frenzy so they scream their heads off and noone thought about the impact on my DS well I have lost count. Do the surprise for the other kids and let this one join when the screaming / frenzy has stopped.

Do video their successes and share them with parents or write a short note each week. When your child can't tell you about their day school is really just a big black hole (plus it will get us off your back)

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

Just once a term, wander up to the parent in the playground and say 'X had such a great day today. S/he said Y and we all laughed so much. S/he is so lovely.'

I know that doesn't answer your very serious point about your teaching practice ( and I haven't RTFT) but it's so rare just to have our children randomly praised. Normally when a teacher wanders over its to have 'a word'.

[LeChien]

Be aware that some children mask extremely well, and cover up how they are feeling during a school day.
It means a huge amount to a worried parent to be listened to and believed (I imagine, we're not at that point yet!).
Please don't set against the parent to help prove that there's nothing wrong with the child, because if they mask, you can't see that there's nothing wrong, and that just means that the parent loses trust in yet another person involved in their child's life, and the child learns not to trust you because you keep putting them in stressful situations without realising.

[Lancelottie]

'One child at GCSE asked about the humour in a book wrote 'there isn't any' because they didn't find it funny.'

And mine had a question in the Mocks which said 'How does the poem make you feel?', to which he responded 'Irritated. Why don't poets just say what they mean?'

We sorted that one out before the real exam.

[Jasonandyawegunorts]

Don't judge the family, or their ability based on the child’s Problems!

The amount of teachers, and professionals that come here (And Born naughty threads) and start blaming the family for causing ASD, or sprout classest nonsense based on the fact that the familieshouse isn't spotless (Which is what makes you “working class” apparently) is astounding.

[Borka]

Think about where in the classroom the child will be best off sitting e.g. my DS needs to sit in the back row when the class are sitting together on the carpet, because he gets agitated by other children sitting behind him.

[Mollyweasley]

OP (I haven't read the whole thread)- what really annoys me is when I am told, when I bring up an issue: "don't worry, he's fine!" because 1)I have reason to worry and trying to minimise my worries will not help 2)If I bring something up it is because he is not fine and this gives me the message that the member of staff does not see it! (makes me feel like a neurotic mother!)

[NoHaudinMaWheest]

Sports days, non-uniform days, anything out of the ordinary days are often stressful and need to be prepared for. Sometimes the parent will judge it is better for the child not to come. Try to support, not undermine that decision.

Visiting speakers (police, fire brigade, hygiene people spring to mind) often make strong statements about dangers in their particular area of concern. Children with ASD may take them too much to heart and worry excessively. A one to one debrief with the child with ASD may be necessary. If you know the speaker is likely to be very strident or it is an area the child already struggles with, they may need to do something else (productive) during the speakers talk.

Just because the child has ASD doesn't mean they can't have other issues as well. If they seem to be eg dyslexic or the parents raise concerns about something like this, it needs to be checked out as it would for any other child.

[Ineedmorepatience]

Please please dont ever expect a child with Asd to "Just get used to it" whatever it is!

And please dont say to parents, "All our students know they can do x,y,or z!" No they dont know, children with Asd have to be taught that special arrangements can apply to them, just because so and so with Asd in yr 10 gets this support does not mean that your child in yr 7 will understand that they can access it too.

[Lancelottie]

Oh god, Haudin, you've reminded me of the All Fat Is Bad debacle after someone came in to talk about healthy eating.

This for a boy who never even made it onto the bottom line of the BMI charts.

[NoHaudinMaWheest]

Yes Lancelottie that bit was heartfelt as the initial trigger for ds's very severe OCD was a talk on hand hygiene.

[Imscarlet]

Are your children not included in school plays? That's awful. Any I've been involved in or seen, everyone has a speaking part. Some shine, some make a joke of it, some make a mess of it, but that's children for you and all part of the fun.

[DarkEvilMoon]

Watch out for whole class bullying of the child. We have had a big issue with one child tripping, another kicking in the head/stomping on the head and then a good number of other kids swearing it was an accident. Once or twice perhaps but 3 in 4 days? yeah right. Especially when you add up the total number of injuries (head and otherwise) and you are looking at nearly 20 in less than 2 months in a child who isn't clumsy outside of school. Patterns in targeted bullying can be a problem for an nt child too, but it is harder for ASD kids to react appropriately in this situation or bring it to your attention.

[Athenaviolet]

As a woman on the spectrum I think it is a shame this thread was hidden away in sn. Imo it would be beneficial to have the wider mn audience exposed to this conversation so more people understand autism.

A point I'd like to make is that lots of the comments up thread refer to boys with autism or autism in general (which is mostly boys) without recognising that autism in girls (what the OP is about) is very distinct.

OP my advice, as an undiagnosed girl who really struggled through school is to be careful to distinguish between the traits of girls with asd and boys with asd. Go and look up specific resources/blogs etc on female autism (eg aspie girl).

There is also a series of good threads on the sn recommendations board written by women with asd that will give you many examples of their experiences.

The best way to learn about autism is to listen to the girls and women who have actually experienced being an autistic schoolgirl.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

I think generising is unhelpful too.

I think the stereotypical 'autism' does indeed cover more boys as work that has been done on categorising has mainly been done on boys so an 'average' profile is more likely going to be relevant to more boys than girls.

However what I and many parents struggle with is the fact that there are stereotypes at all because actually, hardly anyone fits what might be considered a 'pure' autism stereotype.

I don't think categorising them further helps. Only looking at the individual helps.

Given too that most provision is generic and based on very little evidence ''visual learner' anyone'? I also think there is NO POINT in categorising as the provision often thrown at a child will be the same regardless.

If we can get some recognition that the only thing in common two children with ASD have, is an ability to fulfil the diagnostic criteria for diagnosis.

[StarlightMcKenzee]

Ha ha, what an awfully constructed sentence, but yeah!

[Imscarlet]

I know, it's like saying 'oh yeah, I know all about Americans, I've met one!'