Wondering if dh has asd?

[Comm]

Have namedchanged as regular poster here.
I'm
Not getting on with dh and haven't been for a while.
Am wondering since ds has asd if dh has it and that's what's causing some
Problems or if he is just being a man.
He is lovely but when we talk we just seem to clash. I find him insensitive, black and white, rigid, logical, he said he feels
Insecure and shy meeting new people although hides it very well! Seems to lack common sense, forgets things all the time...
Dismisses my thoughts and feelings

I don't know but I'm unhappy :(

Just argued again at 11pm!my son woke crying and he was trying to tell him he would be back in ten mins but ds was upset so I went in. I said do you think he understands 10mins? He said he has to learn it. Ffs I was like just settle him!! I can't get through to him about parenting and its driving me crazy

How do you think your dh would take the suggestion?

I did the online quotient test and scored 31. I thought well everyone has some traits, so dh did it and scored 15 - so I have a lot of traits it seems. Some people say I can't be. A few people think it's possible.

Maybe do the online test and casauly drop it into the conversation for him to try.

I must say that I have no intention of ever looking into a dx for me.

Polter that's very funny as that's what I'm trying to work out lol
I am unsure if he realises what he is doing and is generally a nice guy but I just find his respones to things peculiar and lack of empathy unattractive..
I feel as though I tell him time and time again but it's not changin and I don't want to be cruel if he can't help it.
Examples

• I had a car accident years ago and am still nervous in the car and sometimes I ask him to slow down etc (he isn't driving mad but I just get worried) he always argues about it saying he's fine etc. I get so annoyed as why can't he see that I have anxiety about it and be caring about it :(

I said to him yesterday about the awful Alton towers thing and how bad it was an his reaponse was that more people die on the roads. I wasn't even saying that I was saying about awful it was He stood on my wedding dress when we married and I yelled to move and he had the hump and couldn't see the big deal even though it left a black mark Is incredibly stubborn - when ds was a baby he would insist we did controlled crying and we argued all the time about me going in to her. Same for ds now he is so annoyed at him in our bed If I say this is how something works he often questions it as if I'm not saying the right thing Says I am too absorbed with the kids and it's has taken over my life, I think he resents it He is grumpy all the time Will have to think More examples

My other half is beyond my comprehension. I have to tell him a million times to do a simple thing but he never gets round to it. I asked if he could phone legoland to see the pass way to get passes as I was looking into the careers pass. After a month he called, asked the wrong thing, forgot what they said.

It's just easier to do things myself. He's nothing like me and can't see beyond today. He's fantastic but those things bug me. We are not alike at all. Which is mostly great but at times annoying as I can't grasp why he doesn't think like me

My DSis was diagnosed a couple of years ago. After that it became glaringly obvious my dad also has ASD but none of us would have considered it going back 10 years or so. Knowing this to be the case has really helped my mum understand and tolerate certain behaviours and thought patterns my dad has that used to really upset her.

He's generally a pretty decent guy, caring father and husband etc. but then he'll do something that leaves you thinking 'what??'. Like, he told one DSis (the one with ASD) when she was upset over her appearance that she 'wasn't beautiful'. He still doesn't understand how that was just a really shitty thing to do and still maintains he didn't 'mean it in a bad way'. Another time recently he told my other DSis (who's only 14) that if he could describe her in one word he'd say she was 'arrogant'!! And, again, he just doesn't understand how this is a nasty thing for a father to say to his daughter.

I'd think about what boxes your DH ticks. Does he have any sensory issues? Does he struggle not to take things literally? Does he have any obsessions? Does he need routine? Etc.