DS1 Pushing Against/Being Too Close to People

[LadyNym]

I've had some really nice and helpful replies on the other couple of threads I've started and am hoping for some help with this behaviour.

DS1 is three and being assessed for ASD. I'm certain he has it (runs in family and there's no doubt in my mind) and I suspect he may also have SPD and PDA, though not as sure.

He has lots of very challenging behaviours - some, if not most, of which are obviously as a result of his ASD - but one of the more frustrating ones that I'm at a loss as to how to tackle is the way he invades people's space and pushes against them. I think there's a combination of some sort of sensory issue coupled with a lack of social awareness causing it.

If he's on my lap he can't just sit nicely but constantly pushes his back and head into me, which can range from mildly irritating/uncomfortable to painful. Today, at the toddler group we've started attending, he kept following a girl a bit older than him around and trying to sit right near her and she was obviously uncomfortable with this (I did step in and try to distract him or just take him away when she got uncomfortable).

The biggest problem is with his little brother. DS2 is 14 months and DS1 just won't leave him alone. He'll follow DS2 around copying everything he does (crawling in a certain way/standing banging on a table/shouting babble) and when I say 'follow' I mean he'll crawl so close to DS2 as to be basically on top of him, he'll stand right next to DS2 so that he's basically pushing him over, he'll sit so close to him he's basically on his lap. He also like to roll around on the floor and push against things with his feet. Unfortunately, he likes to push against DS2 or just try to roll on him. Understandably, DS2 gets very upset and angry by this.

I can tell DS1 not to do it but he'll completely ignore me. I can remove him but he goes right back to it. It often ends in meltdowns and is exhausting and frustrating.

My mum is going to make him a weighted blanket (she has already made one for my sister who has a DX of AS) and I'm hoping that might give him some of the sensory stimulation he's looking for but does anyone have any other ideas or advice on how to tackle this?

Got the same problem here but it's only directed to me. My son is on a 18 month wait for ot!

For my older boy we do deep pressure and joint pressure. The joint pressure is good as it takes a while to do every joint so it's focused time.

He loves being roled up in a blanket then being squished. For emergency I press on the top of his head and his shoulders.

I must admit I don't do this much with the toddler. I should. He earlier run at me full pelt and crashed head on my knee! Ouch! That seemed to be the input he needed which isn't good for either of us

Hi, I recognise all of this. My DS is 8yo, with ASD-PDA, SPD, and anxiety dxes.

I agree with you re combination of sensory-seeking and lack of understanding of social rules re personal space; also I think there's an element of psychological/emotional comfort-seeking.

We try to re-direct some of the behaviour into various sensory games and activities.

We also have a problem in school of him being "inappropriately tactile" with other children (including face-licking, bottom-squeezing, zip-pulling, as well as general hugging, grabbing, space-invading) and school are doing lots of work with social stories etc about personal space, private body parts etc.

2boys, other than rolling him in a blanket and squishing him (I may try this with DS as he does like to have lots of blankets piled on top of him), what else do you do in terms of deep pressure?

Jackster, DS also licks people. I imagine that sort of thing will get worse, too.