Any tips on dealing with meltdowns pease MNs?

[scoobyww]

I have 11 yr old DS2, dx'd with Aspergers and OCD. He has complete meltdowns and is extremely violent and aggressive - hurts me(punched me in face in DCAP last week), DH (stabbed with a spoon handle in arm 2 days ago), DS1 and the dog (terrified!) - smashes things/ 'sweeps' surfaces/ throws things at us and around house/ swears/ runs off/ barricades self in rooms, etc. Anyone got any advice on how to deal with - both during and after please? All advice gratefully received! Thanks in advance, Scoobyww.

Are there any clear triggers for these meltdowns and could your ds recognise the triggers himself and make it known that he needed to get away from the situation or needed to break something. We used a specific symbol with one lad I worked with who would ask to 'finish' when he found the situation overwhelming. By doing this we avoided him hitting us. Another lad I worked with had a specific activity he would go and do when he felt stressed. He would always return to this activity when under pressure and we knew that he would be best left alone until he felt calmer. The activty was highly repetitive and this was just what he needed. Have you tried a social story to unable you to talk through the situation and give your ds some more appropriate actions when he is feeling stressed.

Sorry no clear answers, it must be very hard for you and your family. Have you any kind of respite to enable you all to spend positive time together

My 2 boys are a lot younger so I'm not sure if I can give much advice here but I agree with lori21 about looking for an alternative way for your ds2 to express his rage. We used to have a big inflatable punchbag that my ds2 could hit and ds1 could kick. For throwing things we gave ds2 some small beanbags that he could throw instead.

If he doesn't do much damage in his room I would probably just leave him be when he barricades himself in there. I know that when things get too much for my ds1 he likes a quiet place to retreat to so that he can calm himself down.

Hi and thanks for replies.

Lori - triggers can be anything, or nothing! He does not like routines changed; to not be able to do/have something or the word 'no!' We have used social stories, both at home, in school and in Friendship Group at DCAP, however he seems to struggle with putting 'learned strategies' into 'real life' and I am not sure that he can actually remember what to do, as he has memory problems too. Sadly, we have no respite at all, as SS say we don't meet their criteria and we have just had Tribunal Hearing for DLA turned down.
Coppertop - Hi again! -DS has a punchbag in his room too, but cannot seem to grasp that it should be used to express anger,rather than just being a 'toy'. Unfortunately, he can do a lot of damage in his room, or he has threatened to jump out of window. Last week, he ripped his door off the hinges, which we thought was perhaps a way to not have the door there at all, until it came to bedtime and he was distraught because he 'needed' the door back on as his room wasn't 'right'. Really do not know where to go next with this, as he is getting bigger and stronger..and scarier!

I know I keep recommending this book, but a good friend who has huge difficulties with her DS says it is great - its called "When My Autism Gets Too Big For Me" from the NAS. HTH

Hi Davros,

Thanks for your reply - I will certainly check that out!

Scoobyww