I wish someone would beam me up.

[milge]

I have spent the last 2 days looking at SN units for dd who will be 5 next year. The reality that dd is not "normal"(whatever that is) is hitting home hard. The proposed statement offers her 10 hours a week support in a mainstream school or 12 hours a week in a SN unit. They units they recommend are currently used by 8 boys(one) or 6 boys and 2 girls(other), who have either adhd or are waiting for placements in the specialist autistic school.Both units are up until KS1, but only 2 places per unit are available for Sept, so the majority of the current children will be there in Septemeber. If I turn down a place in the Units, the LEA will not guarantee SALT or any other therapy apart from via the community paeds. 18 month wait for ANY therapy. It looks like I will have to give up my job as the Units run from 8am to 2pm with no afterschool care/clubs for SN kids as they can't guarantee the child:adult ratio as per statements. Her NT twin is in mainstream school 5 miles in the opposite direction from 8.45 until 3.15pm. DH works away from home during the week 3 days out of 5, so its just me on the school run.
Our proposed statement and schooling recommendations were issued on 6th November and I have to accept or request amendements within 28 days. I am VERY grateful she has a proposed statement, and that my concerns about her are backed up by professionals, but I feel like crawling under a duvet until its all over( avoidance, not suicide, btw!.
Is there a button you can press and it all disappears???

if you think that your child will benefit from full support in main stream school then fight for it

sometimes its the only way to get what you want

my ds will be starting school next september and i will be fighting for full support in mainstream and the head mistress of the school was the one who told me to fight for it

hope that helps it gets on top of you doent it will all the reports ive thought of buying a filing cabinet for them all

Definitely fight for support in school if you think your child needs it. I am a SALT and unfortuntely there are many instances of 'those whose shout loudest get the best service' It really shouldn't be the case.

Hi Milge, I am new to MN and haven't posted before, but have to say I can really understand how you must feel.This is such a difficult decision you have to make.
My DS2 6, has HF/ASD and attends the same mainstream primary school as DS1. We only had his DX in July 2005 and we had a dreadful year 1, as he did not have a statement and his needs could not be met.
He now has a full time statement and (in theory) has 1.1 support all day, so far things are going well and I am no longer the stressed out mess I was.
Had there been places available I would have placed him in a special unit attached to a mainstream primary, but there was no real chance of getting him in.
I do worry the the staff do not really have the training or specialist knowledge needed at times, but you have to weigh that up with all the benifits that being in his local school close to home with his brother and that fact that I have a good relationship with the Senco and the head, so communication is very good.
Does it worry you that you dd will not be with her twin? Is that a reason you can use to say you want her to be in the same school?
It was a real fight to get the statement, but worth it in the end.
I also found it very difficult when he had his DX, as I was not expecting it and I must say was really upset for quite a long time. Now I know more I am much more comfortable with things and infact relieved that there is a reason for his challenging behaviour and it is not that I am just a crap parent.
I have definately had those duvet days and still question if we are making the right choices, but my instincts as a mother tell me that my children are happy so we are doing something right.

Thanks for all your replies. Good to know i am not on my own!
bubble 78 - yes I can relate to the filing cabinet - guess what is on my sexy Christmas list?? ellenevemum - If I was certain that I was right to turn down the unit, I would fight tooth and nail but I haven't got that far yet! It is a sad inditement of the NHS that you do have to shout and keep on shouting for what you want - an ever diminishing pot of money and greater calls than ever on it.
Socci, she wouldn't require a lunchtime assistant as she can self feed. She has no formal diagnosis, has many autistic traits, and has no speech. Can do non verbal, and will use PECs if she chooses - depends on how she feels. She has been in mainstream childcare up until this Sept.
Isgrassgreener - welcome to MN and thanks for your words. My instinct is mainstream but I am worried that she won't get as many therapies/care as she would in the Unit.

Thanks again.

"If I turn down a place in the Units, the LEA will not guarantee SALT or any other therapy apart from via the community paeds. "

This doesn't sound legal. It is essential that SALT and other necessary therapies are in parts 2 and 3 of the statement - IPSEA can help get them there. I insisted they went in there when ds1 was in mainstream- and consequently he did get the therapies (albeint not as often as he should have- but you can get more protection by going for specifiying numbers of hours in the statement). I;d ring IPSEA_ have a good read of their website- lots of help there on how to go for parts 2 and 3.

Thanks jimjams - technical advisor to all SN mums. You are much appreciated.

I do think you have to think about the family's needs as well as dd's. Schools that far apart would just be a nightmare even without factoring in you having to give up work and anyway if dd's needs could be met successfully at mainstream then they bloody well should be. As Jimjams says, the SALT stuff and full support should be sortable outable- definitely approach IPSEA for advice. Sympathise with the stress of it all- it sounds shite. Hope it gets better soon.

agree with contacting ipsea and see what they say,
there is also a website for parents with s/n chidren that work(or who want to work)called 'waving not drowning' i'm no good at links so won't even try
i think that providing the statement is written correctly(and therefore the support in place for your child)then for the sanity of the whole family-a mainstream placement should at least be tried......
Good luck....i know how hard the placement decision is(my dd does not go to our village school-not suitable and ds will follow dd to her school-i am not even considering the village school for him (although he has no s/n)as the logistics would be a nightmare-and the tsking /picking up/working part time falls to me!!!)