Pointers from wise mners please? yr 9 review for aspie ds1

[JemimaPuddled]

Any of you lovely lot willing to give me pointers? What do we need to be asking for, aiming for? I fear we're going to miss something essential if we're clueless.

He's in mainstream school, supported by TAs for (severe) dyslexia rather than for the asd. Socially he's pretty good, academically doing well and behaviour in school excellent. He saves all his bad behaviour and meltdowns for home, always has done. He was dx at 10 but we knew by the time he was 3yo he had asd, just thought/hoped we could support him adequately and at that point felt the label would do him more harm than good, he already had the dyslexia dx and as far as educational need went, that was the priority. Now we're needing some support from somewhere for out of school hours as he's a bit unmanageable atm having been self sufficient for so long seems to have shot us in the foot... He's going to do a good mix (for him) of GCSEs and BTECs (with amanuensis where appropriate) then wants to go for engineering - how very aspie but I've no idea how or where to start to find that sort of course, esp suitable for him.
Any pointers or tales of those who've made it through to the other side would be most appreciated.

Bump for daytime crew

Yes as broad as you like, probably common sense but without my professional head on I'm genuinely feeling clueless. And this is totally outside my experience. We've debated statementing since he ws 10 and although EHCP would more than likely meet his needs better, the school don't have any experience of doing them yet (ironically, I do...)

Oh you're definitely wise

Hi Jemima, polter is wise and modest!

Do you get DLA for your son? If not have you considered applying as it can open up support such as short breaks for carers if your son would access them!

Also meant to say puberty and Asd can make for a bumpy ride!

You can apply for an EHCP yourself, have a look at IPSEA for template letters etc!

No Dd3 cant access short breaks either but they are out there.

If your Ds is exploding at home jemima that is a sure sign of unmet needs at school!

There are lots of vocational courses in all sorts of subjects out there, some colleges, free school, studio schools take students from yr 10 and may be worth a look at or certainly for 6th form. The staff seem to be able to offer something different to school staff!

I agree with the explosive child,mitnis a very different way of looking at things.

Good luck

Oops " it is"

Wow, thanks all
Yes he's on DLA, hrc,lrm. Not the slightest bit of support or anything outside school. He does absolutely nothing extracurricular because he's got the teenage mentality of "I won't do stuff with mum and dad" vs the aspie cant do it independently either...gah!!
Yy to the terror at home being down to unmet needs at school. Mainly social frustration. Great school in meeting most of his needs, fabulous special needs senior learning coordinator who keeps him afloat.

Don't get me started about incompetent camhs. There's"no mental health need" apparently. This is the child who threatens regularly that he will murder us all in the night (we've had to lock all knives away, he likes the idea of stabbing people) has attempted to strangle both of his siblings, pulled a handful of hair from dd's head because he didn't like the smell at the petrol station (hypersensitivity) , bites, kicks, punches when something even slightly irritates him. Self injures when anxious. Clearly no mental health need at all then ....wtf?? He saw someone for ten mins and was the articulate calm young man with over reacting parents he loves to present as. They were too daft to see through it or look further.