Could I ask advice from the SN mums please?

[TwoIfBySea]

In dts1 (nearly 5yo) class there is a little boy who has special needs. Although I don't know what these are it is not my business either however what I am trying to do is explain to dts why his classmate does certain things.

There is also a little girl with cerebral palsy which I have found easier to explain and dts now helps her by getting her toys etc. and has become quite friendly with her. I am trying to make him and his brother understand about how they should treat people in the best way but it is really difficult.

Can I ask how best to do this? I don't want to say this boy is "special" but is saying he is different offensive? Dts has asked why this boy can't hold a pencil, why he says "funny things" out loud and why he does "naughty things" in class.

I have so far gotten away with saying he can't help it.

I want dts to accept people regardless of any differences but I also don't want to use certain phrases. So what, if someone at your dd/ds school asked you, would you like them to tell their dd/ds?

I really hope this post doesn't cause offense as I am really genuine about this. Dts1 is the type of little boy who will accept a proper explaination so all advice gratefully appreciated!

If other children ask me about DS2 (autistic) I always say something like ' the wires in his brain are joined up in a different way so that's why he does some things differently.'

saying that he is different isn't offensive if your trying to explain to a child.

Sphil's definition is very good. if you can explain that your brain sends messages to your body and it makes your body move, a bit like a remote control car, but sometimes if your "different" like this boy the messages geta bit fuddled by the time it gets to his body.

i was demonstrated this to a room of 7 year olds by getting them to play chinese whispers.

to be honest however you explain it you are trying to show that your children should accept this child as their friend, that they shoudlnt be afraid or make fun of his differences so they will already know how NOT to behave around him.

Sphil that is brilliant, just the type of answer for a little boy fascinated by robots! See, why couldn't I have thought of that?

I hadn't wanted to use the word "different" as I sometimes think there is a stigma attached but maybe I am wrong.

I like Sphils answer too

I sue different to my boys, but in the context of everybody is different , you're good at and you find X hard... etc, well he / she finds Y hard- they seem to get that

I do the same as dino as well. If ds1 does something that ds2 wouldn't get away with and ds2 complains then I say "ds1 finds it difficult to understand, but you don't find it difficult to understand do you?"