Going to see the Head Teacher about all this. Can you help?

[ASorcererIsAWizardSquared]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2377437-Is-it-really-too-much-to-ask-for-a-school-to-follow-my-childs-fucking-IEP?

Now, i have ASD myself, so i need some help putting my thoughts in order as i get quite anxious, and i end up coming away from meetings feeling like i'm the one in the wrong, and i shouldn't be making a fuss.. but i know i'm not any more.

This issue in and of itself is very minor, but its very much the proverbial straw in my 'three strikes and you're out' line of thinking.

We've had two pretty big incidents with DS's IEP being ignored, once to do with his OT requirement for movement breaks and specific request he never have breaktime removed - that involved a small meltdown being mishandled and him being confined to one classroom ALL DAY with the threat of him losing further breaks until work he wouldnt do was done.

The second one was another meltdown mishandling where he was accused of having a tantrum, denied access to the calm/sensory room and left screaming for over an hour and crying all afternoon with no attempts made to help him calm down (he cant self regulate) and no calls made to me to intervene either.

This time is small, but it really feels like they've failed him, again, and then tried to blame it on him, again. All along we've made it clear that he acts out with Temp teachers, that routine and consistency are vital, in yr2 we had some massive issues with it and they put in place that his TA would always be in the classroom when the teacher was not.

As far as i'm concerned, that hasn't changed, he hasn't suddenly got better or more mature, he is still unsettled and unable to cope with complete change in his environment, so having his Teacher and both TAs missing from the class and then blaming him for not doing his work when clearly the other aspects of his IEP (movement breaks...etc) were also ignored because of lack of support in the class is unnacceptable.

His teacher said to me that what happened yesterday fulfilled his current provision map, which i haven't seen or approved or had discussed with me AT ALL, so now i'm wondering wtf they've taken off or decided to ignore as though he's had some miracle cure.

Obviously i need to get all this across to the HT in an articulate, no nonsense manner that makes it clear we're now at the point that the school are proving to me that they clearly cannot support him adequately and he needs an EHCP assessment with a view to funded 1:1.. but i dont know how to do it without sounding petulant, whiny or letting them once again, blame DS and make me feel like i'm making excuses for his behaviour.

Hi sorcerer I am glad you found your way over here. I have a Dd with Asd and am pretty much self diagnosed myself. We have always struggled with school staff forgetting to support Dd3, we have tried and tried to get them to listen to us without much success.

I hope someone comes along who can help more than me. In the meantime, you can apply for an EHCP yourself! Take a look at the IPSEA website.

Good luck

Even if you have a EHCP you might find that the school don't always do what is in it.
I find that you just have to be persistent in reminding them to do whatever is not happening, and make sure that you put it in writing to them - an e-mail will suffice, so that they cannot deny that you did or that it wasn't recorded.
However what is in an IEP is not legally binding but the EHCP contents are - so I would say that it was worth applying. I applied for DS when it was a SEN. I had help from my parent partnership in wording the application - they were brilliant at that. You need to turn every difficulty into Educational needs though - so explain why each difficulty is affecting education.
Any reports from anyne your DS has seen, or from anyone running any clubs etc he attends would also be helpful. The more independent evidence you can find the better.

Re the IEP though, I would ask for a meeting with the SENCO and TA and Head and go through it step by step.
Check it is written with SMART targets (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely) so that you can hold them accountable.

You don't need a Dx for the school to provide help, they just need to be able to see the difficulty and then provide what is necessary around the child. They will try to fob you off with talk of £ and budgets. The reply is that while you understand that they have to deal with that this is not your concern and your concern is for your childs safety, wellbeing and education and how they are going to achieve that.
Ask as a result of their mistakes what plans have been put into place to ensure that this doesn't happen again.