Time until diagnosis?

[Midori1999]

If one is made...

My son is 14 and despite me pushing for help since he started school, something was only done about it a few years ago. He was referred to CAHMS who assessed him for ADHD and said he didn't have it, but they basically messed up the assessment anyway due to staff changes etc. school contacted CAHMS again last year after things got worse at school and had now started at home. We had an appointment with an educational psychologist last week and I am
Seeing them again next week alone and they said they will then see my son alone if he agrees, but he was extremely difficult during the initial appointment.

Family members have felt he was 'different' since he was small and I didn't really, but I don't tend to make a fuss and I'm wondering if I minimised things and although he was on the slow side to develop I just out it down to having an older brother. He was quite clumsy and couldn't ride a bike well or tie his shoes until very recently and used to
complain a lot that noises hurt his ears, although he doesn't now. It was so bad that I took him to the GP several times to have his ears checked.

Now he doesn't take change well at all, will refuse point blank to go to a class if there's a supply teacher, is rude to teaching staff and defiant and also to me now. He can be aggressive with his 11 year old disabled brother and refuses to or can't understand that his disability means he will not act like other 11 year olds. (He has Down's syndrome) he's has only recently had any friends at all but has no friends outside of school really. His peers think he is 'weird' and 'psycho'. He spends most of his time in his room on his laptop, phone or x box and gets very upset/distressed if this time is restricted, although it obviously has to be. He is obsessed by a few things and knows all there is to know about them and talks about them all the time, but his range of interests is very narrow.

I am struggling. I know he is and I feel awful for him, but his behaviour is affecting the whole family negatively now and school are struggling to keep him there, even with a reduced timetable. He is just so disruptive.

Sort for this being so long, I just needed to get it all out. I'm wondering how long the CAHMS process should take? It took forever last time as they managed to somehow forget about my son and didn't make appointments for him or do the assessment properly from what I understand.

Sorry, if anyone can offer any advice at all I'd really appreciate it. I'm feeling pretty desperate about my son's behaviour today and am at breaking point. I know I sound so awful for saying this, but life for everyone else in the household is just so much easier and better when he's not here. (At his Dads)

Thankyou. I am currently stood in my kitchen in tears due his his awful behaviour. The schools are closed today and I had hoped to take the DC to the zoo. However, DS refused to go and obviously I can't leave him at home on his own, so none of the other DC could go either. I need to go to the supermarket and clearly can't do that either for the same reasons. I have no milk to get my youngest to bed and not much bread left either. I'm also supposed to be pet sitting for a friend while she is away and I can't see how I'm going to do that either. This is absolutely awful.

I spoke to DS's social worker (he is involved after school suggested they may help whilst awaiting the CAHMS referral) and he is coming to take DS out tomorrow, but I'm not really sure how that's going to help.

As I had tried to confiscate hispbile a coue of nights ago and he refused, his Dad had it cut off last night after DS was given several warnings that would happen if he didn't let me take it and all he has done today is try and wind me up/provoke a reaction. It's exhausting. On top of which, asking DS's Dad if he could have him a bit more to give me a break resulted in a huge arguement because he 'can't' apparently.