ASD preschooler, what do I do next?

[PunkyBubba]

DS1 (3.5 years old) has severe speech and language delay, and has just been referred by the paediatrician for assessment for an official diagnosis of ASD (there is no question now, even though I've been in a kind of denial since it was first suggested over a year ago).

The company that do the diagnosis will apparently be in touch for the first interview in the next 8 weeks, then the process takes a term or more apparently (though I'm sure many of you know more about this than me!)

He is also currently on an assessment place at a special needs nursery 3 mornings a week, where he has been since the end of February to ascertain his education needs, whether he needs an EHCP, etc. The educational psychologist gives her feedback in July and we find out whether he has a place at the special nursery for next year at the same time (he doesn't start school until September 2016).

I've also (thanks to the advice on this board!) applied for and been awarded mid rate care DLA.

So what should I be doing now? I've read the hanen books, and try to apply the methods as much as possible (given DS1 is not exactly compliant), and also follow the advice of the speech therapists (ready steady go anyone?). Ds1 has no interest in makaton though I keep persevering, and same with PECs which I've given up on for the time being.

Apart from the 3 mornings at the special needs nursery he attends a mainstream nursery 1 afternoon a week (they couldn't handle him more than 1 day a week due to his behaviour and the health and safety risks). I also have a demanding 6 month old, so the TV ends up being on more than I would like when he is home, and I'm becoming more frustrated as I feel Im not doing enough to help him.

I read not to wait for 'professionals' and be proactive, so what are my best next steps? Money is fairly limited so if I had to choose should I be doing SALT or ABA? Do I have to wait for the diagnosis before ABA can start. Any other suggestions on how I can help him would be appreciated... And also what can I expect once we get the diagnosis.. Would ABA or CBT be offered? All I have seen is there is more access to courses for parents..

I found ABA best, the rest didn't work for my boy, you don't need to wait for a diagnosis but it can be a fight to get it and expensive. You might want to look at a charity called The Giving Tree Foundation or Caudwell which will help pay for it. For me, ABA started at age 3.5 was the best decision I made

When you get a diagnosis, pretty much nothing is offered for you. There will be some limited school support but that will be a how to 'manage' him in a classroom context, not actually educate him.

SALT is theoretically good but the truth is they are not trained in how to engage children with ASD and their service is severely diluted and inconsistent.

ABA will give YOU the skills that will enable you to help him over his lifetime, and teach him what he needs to know and do to be able to make choices, advocate for himself to an extent and behave in a way that keeps him safe.

Thanks both for your replies. That's my mind made up then! I am going to research more into ABA as to how to get started now, but that is the route I will take.

Starlight you put into words what I thought about SALT, and why ABA is my best choice. I want to know myself how to help my child. The last private SALT we hired cost almost £200 for an in depth assessment, then said she couldn't work with him even though her CV stated she worked with children with these kind of difficulties... Which meant we would need to pay for another SALT to do another assessment if we went down that route again, and those that have seen him have been ineffectual anyway!

Can I ask what ABA is and if they have a minimum age they work with? My 2.5 year old was diagnosed with ASD 2 months ago. He's non-verbal and I'm also finding that you as the parent have to make sure things are happening to help your child! We've had barely a handful of SALT sessions in the space of a year. I feel as though my son has made more progress with things I've been doing with him at home and so I am interested in learning anything I can to be able to help my son.

I'm concerned about the nursery he is in atm and feel he might be better off elsewhere. I feel a bit lost with all of this, tbh!! :/

Hi MJ, sadly yes, as the parent we have to fight for almost every bit of help our child gets, and as stated below even then it can be very limited and ineffectual. That is why I was so interested in ABA even though the financial cost can be high, as it gives me the skills to help my child myself without waiting for others.

I don't have the time to explain ABA on here, but if you read down the threads on this 'Special Needs Kids' topic there are a lot on ABA, which contain links to websites which explain it (or just google 'ABA Autism').

Realising my perfect precious baby has Special Needs was overwhelming at first, and can still be at times now if it let myself think too much about it. This board on mumsnet has been brilliant to get information, and learn by others experiences (even though I have barely posted on here I have been lurking for over a year now). When you have some time I'd suggest reading through threads that might be relevant to you to get more information, I really found it a massive source of support to me.