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SN children

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Original poster

WWYD? Re: safeguarding

16 replies

NewBlueCoat · 22/04/2015 17:25

That title sounds a bit alarmist, but can't think what else to call it.

I arrived at school,today to pick up dd2 (age 8, dx of AS) and she didn't show up. I waited 20 minutes or so (pick up can take a while - complicated arrangement at dd2's school, whereby you wait in the car, and children are brought out to a pick up,zone) and still no sign of her.

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 22/04/2015 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PandasRock · 22/04/2015 17:44

I am me back to an old ish name for a bit.

Yes, it's concerning. I have emailed head for now, but can involve pastoral head, I suppose (she's deputy head at school).

Yes, it's a private school.

Governors is a good call. I've never met them, but I suppose they might be some use.

All I want them to do is stick to their own published protocols. It's a bit because last time I complained it lead to a total reorganisation of how after school club was staffed. But it really isn't good enough, is it? (Quite aside from the personal inconvenience of having made us late, and the added bonus of dd1 halving a meltdown and not being safe to leave with ds in the car, yet also couldn't leave her alone, etc etc)

Dd2 is now castastrophising, and everything is her fault, so that'll be both girls up until about midnight at this rate

PandasRock · 22/04/2015 17:47

It doesn't help that I have the feeling they are dismissing dd2's dx. This type of thing just adds to my general feeling of discontent with the school.

There is an overnight residential in about 4 weeks time. Yet I can even trust them to look after her properly and keep tabs on her within a familiar environment and routine.

God knows what would happen if she was actually a runner or a climber. Or wanted to get into trouble or up to mischief. It seems remarkably easy to 'go missing'

PandasRock · 22/04/2015 17:48

Oh bollocks, well, there goes any attempt at covering tracks in case school are reading.

Forgot to NC properly as was distracted by the dds meltdowns. Oh well

JennyOnTheBlocks · 22/04/2015 17:52

I had this recently, DD went off to an after school club that was no longer running, even though I was stood in the playground, waiting for her.

She had been going to this club, but not in the new term, which we were 3/4 weeks in to.

I was blamed (in writing, I'll add) because during the hunt for DD, I apparently said 'I'll sort out her going for next week then'. This told staff that I had no idea the club had ended, and hadn't prepared her for this.

We are often dismissed by the H/T too

PandasRock · 22/04/2015 17:59

Am I just being completely unrealistic?

It's hard for me to gauge, as dd1 has more severe needs, but I don't think an 8 year old should be expected to know where they should be each day, at the end of a long, tiring day.
That's why they have the lists, surely? So that everyone knows who should be where, and everyone can be accounted for.

Of course, over time, the school will be less and less responsible - hopefully dd2 will still be in one piece by that point! But this has been happening since she was 5. Completely unacceptable, but clearly not going to change.

PolterGoose · 22/04/2015 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience · 22/04/2015 18:18

I dont think you are over reacting either! I would be worried now if no one knew where my child with Asd was although now I think about it I suspect that this is happening throughout the day at secondary school!!

They should be taking safeguarding very seriously and I think a letter to the HT and Governors might remind them of their responsibilities!

PandasRock · 22/04/2015 18:19

It's just so easy to lose sight of what is typical and what isn't (although, good can the dx, then surely dd2 should be having extra tabs kept on her anyways, so even if this was ok for NT, it isn't for her?). And then, when I add in that actually, I know dd2 will be ok (as in physically safe), it feels like I am making a fuss over nothing.

But the procedures exist for a reason. It can't be asking too much to expect the school to simply do what they say they do.

JennyOnTheBlocks · 22/04/2015 18:21

Given her dx (DD has dx of ASD, y3 btw), i think this is the age the gap starts to widen for all to see.

Most 8yr olds would be able to sort themselves out, I think, but a compliant aspie, who was perhaps confused as to what had happened, would give all their confidence up to an adult she saw as an authority figure.

I wouldn't say you are unrealistic at all.

PandasRock · 22/04/2015 18:39

I think, without the history, I might not be so bothered if it happened for the first time today (aside from the knock on for our family situation, which I appreciate the school isn't responsible for, but tbh, I need them to be onside with helping out as I have severe AS dd1 and toddler ds in the car at pick ups too, so if it doesn't run smoothly then all hell breaks loose).

But this has been happening regularly since she was 5. And AS or not, it is not acceptable in any way for a 5 year old to be missing while in school's care, yet it happened. Repeatedly. And still is.

And so it feels like they arent in any sort of control,at all. Yet I am expected to trust them to count her on/off minibus at away matches, or go for an overnight residential and trust she will be counted in and out properly at all times, or go for a trip,to legoland (aimed at the end of term) and trust she will be kept an eye on.

I'm not sure I do, or can.

HHH3 · 22/04/2015 19:23

I know this won't solve the problem of school not following their own procedures. And I'm not sure if this will help anyway tbh.

But with regards to knowing/forgetting where she's supposed to be after school...DS1 (NT and now 10) had a schedule for a while. He either has to be at mine, ExH's or after school club and used to get really confused. So he had a printed sheet for each month with day & date and where he should be. He had one in class and the office had one (as well as one at each house) so he could always check/be reminded what was happening that day.

senvet · 22/04/2015 23:07

I think it is straightforward: no-one can be adding kids to a list that they should not be on without taking immediate action. They should have a set of phone numbers to call to sort it out.

My relative was prone to bolting at age 8 and was found on the dual carriageway by a governor. So it is serious, you are right. I told them the writ would been on their desk the next day, but it was ms, so they could not really argue.

It is basic Health and Safety that they keep a list of who they are taking responsibility for, even temporarily, but they should have some red lights going off that someone would be expecting dc elsewhere.

In terms of getting solutions, could you ask for mobile numbers of all the post-school staff? It shouldn't be down to you to sort out their cock-ups, but it might help you to avoid the meltdowns in the future.

Hope something in this lot helps

2boysnamedR · 22/04/2015 23:32

I think you know it's not acceptable, go with your gut feeling. A child with as needs at the very bear minimum to be kept a physical eye on. Runner or not - what the next child who a led off was a runner? She should be handed over to her next destination at that age given her needs

KOKOagainandagain · 23/04/2015 10:24

I had similar problems with DS2. He would just randomly join after school clubs if he felt like it even though he wasn't on the list. As far as the school was concerned, he was not 'missing', it was my fault that I had been waiting in the playground and it would be a 'shame' for me to take him out of the club now that it was underway.

PandasRock · 23/04/2015 11:35

Well, currently I am most concerned about the fact that my email has been ignored. Not even a holding 'let me investigate and I'll get back to you' response. Not impressed. The email I sent was automatically copied to at least 2 other members of staff (Head's PA and office staff) so there is no reason why it could not have been acknowledged by now.

Nothing was said to me this morning by her form teacher (who initiated the cock up by sending dd2 to the wrong place, despite dd2 never having attended after school care on a Wednesday).

Hmm. How long to wait before I really go ballistic?

Thanks for suggestions as to what could help. The thing I am most concerned about is there is no cohesion. This time, dd2 was in after school care (general play and 'holding pen' until a parent collects, but she has previously gone to clubs she is no longer down for, or been waiting in the pick up zone when she should have been in a club or care. Yet each and every time, the person in charge where she has turned up unexpectedly jsut takes her in, and keeps hold of her, without telling anyone else (office staff? Her form teacher?) where she is. And in the case of being absent from a club/care (when she has been at pick up) no one was looking for her, despite her not turning up at the club at the right time. The whole thing is a shambles. One thing that has struck me is that the staff at pick up don't have a list of who they should have - clubs do, and after school care (for all the use they are) but the teachers who then escort to pick up don't seem to. Presumably they just round up everyone left after various children have been selected out to go to the various clubs, but that's hardly satisfactory.

Ho hum. I will await an answer, and take it from there.

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