Potty Training for Nursery - any advice?

[ofcabbagesandkings]

DS is 3.5 and despite many attempts (with /some/ success) we've not yet been able to tackle potty training. Now his nursery are saying that this is a barrier to him being able to increase his hours [puzzled] so am hoping for any advice to help him get dry and into pants (at least during the day).

Here's where we currently are.

• DS will happily be bottom-naked at home and wee on the potty or toilet
• He will wear pants (once I get them on!), but treats them like pull-ups. At first he would wet them, and get very upset. Now he holds it as long as he can and despite being reminded often, will eventually pee in his pants.
• Difficulty with pull-ups: he's a big lad for 3 and the biggest size we can get in the shops are very tight on him, so he's not able to pull them up and down himself
• He also has bowel issues (and is medicated with daily laxatives). Generally will only poo in a nappy. Has only ever pooped once on the potty!
• He's usually dry in the morning, keen to take off pjs and nappy to use the loo just after he gets up.

We're waiting to see doc (just under two weeks) to ask for an appointment to continence clinic, can't get to see Dr any sooner, and apparently referral has to go through him (asked HV, EY advisor, school to no avail).

We suspect DS is on the spectrum (have literally just been referred, now for the long long wait to see someone at CDC). He also has sensory issues and absolutely HATES getting dressed/undressed.

Nursery don't have facilities to change nappies, and are unable to increase his hours much more until he's dry (or closer to being dry).

If anyone has any advice on how we can help transition to pants and potty/toilet, I'd be so grateful!

Uh oh!! Big mistake nursery!! They are not allowed to say that they cant change a child especially not one who is being assessed for possible special needs.

Does he do 15hrs?

Is this a private school or nursery?

Polter - no, I wasn't aware, but will read up about that now thank you =)

Ineed - I did wonder if nursery should make "reasonable adjustments" to help with this. They don't have changing facilities and would need to take him to a different building I think. It wasn't mentioned as a "barrier" until today, previously it was "DS needs more supervision/can't settle for group time".

He's still only at 6/15 hours (posted about nursery issues before but forgot to NC back to my regular one), and should be increasing in increments from next week. Luckily we have DS's EY Key worker involved, who's not happy he hasn't already progressed to the full 15 - he's been on reduced timetable since January!

So do they have no where quiet where the could stick a changing mat? He is probably too big for a changing table anyway!!

I am sorry but any setting who says we havent anywhere to change him is not being inclusive! They could change him anywhere, where do they change children who have toileting accidents?

One Pre-school I worked in took children from 2 and all the ones in nappies were changed on the floor in a quiet place on a changing mat, the staff were on a rota so that no one was doing it everyday and risking back or knee pain. If they werent soiled we did them standing up as we do now in my current setting with the ones who are too big for the changing table!

They are depriving your boy of nursery hours, get back on to the EY keyworker. Also does he have any one to one hours? The LA early yrs team might have a pot of money that can be used to support him. If he comes with a one to one for some of the hours there is no excuse for them not letting him do all his hours!

Again your EY keyworker should be able to help with this.

Good luck