How the hell do you get a water averse child with asd/spd to shower more often?

[ASorcererIsAWizardSquared]

He's 8, he's got to the point where he needs to wash his hair at least twice a week, once a week isnt cutting it any more.

The issue is, he has sensory processing disorder and he HATES getting his head wet, we're talking meltdown territory. I shower him once a week on a saturday or sunday, and we have to spend all day working up to it just so he will step into the shower and allow me to wash his hair. washing his body isn't a problem, its all about water on his head/face... he freaks about being in the rain and has to wear peaked caps and hoods when outdoors.

I have no idea how to get him to let me wash his hair mid-week, i've been trying and he just can't cope with it.

Have any of you been through this and can offer some ideas/advice?

DS is 6 and very similar - has a melt down when we suggest washing his hair and can't stand water on his face (did not submerge his hands in water until aged 3 so has a real aversion). The only way we can do it (and it still involves crying and panicking) is to tell him prior to having a bath that it is a hair wash day. Then, when he is in the bath (won't have showers), we use a plastic jug. Tell him it it will be two jugs, then shampoo, then 3 more jugs. After each jug, we give him lots of praise, tell him how well he's doing then say eg "just one more jug to go". He seems to be able to cope better knowing that it is coming to an end and that he only has to put up with it for a few more seconds (or two jugs worth). He still hates it, but gets over it quickly once it's done. Then leave him plenty of time to play in the bath afterwards as he likes his boats etc.

we used to use the jug in the bath when he was younger.. we went through all the baby caps, special jugs and flannels on the foreheard to get him to this point of trusting me to not get water in his face/eyes, but he is having issues with eczema at the moment so we cant use the bath as we're not allowed to let him sit in soapy water, the shower means its washed off straight away.

He trusts me to use the shower hose when we do it, its just he doesn't seem to be able to get over this change of routine alongside the stress of the hair washing.

Cut his hair like REALLY short? i know this is not adressing the issue, but just an option? shorter hair also means easier and quicker to wash (ie could use soapy flannel and 1 small jug of water) not sure if thats any help xxx

Sounds very stressful, especially along with the eczema as well. Would it make any difference if he had control over the hose or putting the shampoo on? I know you've probably tried everything already.

its fairly short at the moment, keeping it that way is another game...

When I was really bad I had bed baths. Never felt so clean. all flannels and warn water and warm towels straight off a heater
One ASD friend described a shower as being like needles thrown at the skin....

Yes @ senvet Dd3's friends describes it like that too!

Dd3 prefers baths but I do manage to get her in the shower once a week!