Does this sound like autism - 20 month old

[purplemurple1]

There are a few things that seem off but he is my first DC so I'm now sure if it is normal toddler behaviour. (He is in nursery but it is small and I'm not sure they would really spot anything.)

He has a few words but rarely uses them in context, and those such as dog and baby that he did use correctly have been forgotten. When he is trying to communicate he points and grunts. OH and me speak diff languages and he has a good understanding in both languages.

He doesnt like to be hugged or kissed, but will inititiate it with us, his baby sister and nursery staff sometimes.

According to nursery he has very bad tantrums, generally because he can't do what he wants (guess thats normal), at home these are normally becasue he wants to do the jobs he helps with over and over again, but of course when they are done we have to stop. They stop quickly and he is always very happy again afterwards and moves on to something else.

He gets very stressed if things aren't right e.g. he has to have cutlery regardless of what he is eating and will always go and fetch it for himself, his sisters things (bottle, medicine, toys etc) have to be with her at all times, to the point he opens the fridge to get things for her.

He often won't eat food we give him, and will only eat what he 'finds' for himself or sometimes from our plates (we leave out snacks, he gets food from the fruit bowl etc), he is happy to eat at the table and eats a broard range of foods so I don't think its that.

Hates the bath/shower/paddling pool although he is happy to play with bowls of water and has to wash his hands after flushing the loo, and handling dog busicuits. Has to have a cloth/kitchen roll after a meal to wipe his face and the table, before he will go down from the table.

He has recently started rolling stones/dog buscuits around his mouth, he knows its wrong and hides them, and has never tried to swollow them.

A few people in my family have autism so I'm not sure if because that is in my mind I'm worying about something that isn't there. (FYI I'm not in the UK.)

Obviously with autism in your family you are aware some of these things could be early signs, eg. repetition, routine, sensory seeking/avoiding. Are you sure he does understand you? We thought ds2 had more understanding than he actually did just because he would do the next thing in what he saw as a pattern, eg. we'd tell him to wait by the door, but waiting by the door with his shoes on was the routine. For us, by 20 months the words he'd used correctly at 16 months were gone and never returned in that way and signified a regression along with a few other things.

Also, when we saw the paediatrician one of the questions was there any autism in the family.

Have you tried the M-Chat?

Some questions on there revealed things with my ds, like he always smiled but when I tested it out he never actually smiled in response to us or ever copied any facial expression.

It says at risk, i hadnt realised loud noises and rough play were indicators as well.

What do we do next? Is there anything we should be doing at home while trying to get medical help?

I can't suggest therapies or anything, someone else may be able to. I just read loads online about what supported speech, I noticed what he was really interested in and did those things a lot.

This thread Virtual Playgroup has others on it with young ones who are or are in the process of being diagnosed with autism or other things and might be helpful.

Might be helpful to say where you are either here or maybe living overseas about what happens in the country you are living in and what is available there if you're not sure.