Anxious and upset about school. Any advice would be appreciated.

[ShabbaLabbaDing]

DS is 7 and has suspect ASD (aspergers) - he is currently going through the investigation process.

Anyway, DS struggles with school massively. He struggles on a daily basis with most activities. He has quite a few panic attacks and needs to be calmed down quite often by being taken for a walk. It is always much worse when DS has been off school over the school holidays. DS gets anxious a few days running up to him going back to school and struggles to sleep due to worry and gets quite emotional when talking about it. He also gets very clingy with me and wants cuddling to sleep and likes me to be around him all of the time - which of course, I don't mind.

DS is due to start school again after this Easter Break on Tuesday. Tonight he got very emotional, needed me to cuddle him to sleep and will spend the day/night worrying about it tomorrow. Is there anything at all that I could do to help him? I try to reassure him over and over. It doesn't help. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. Thank you!

suspected*

Well there are two things to think about, the short term and the long term

The short term issue is anxiety. So I would get the school to buy in to anything that reduces the anxiety - whether it is spending time in the library with his own work, or doing the walks more often, so that they can pre-empt the panic attacks. If there are particularly stressful times of day or subjects then maybe get them to sort something for those. Unstructured times can be the worst - play times and lunchtimes - so if they can find him a role to keep him occupied then, it may help. Maybe helping with some younger kids, or perhaps there would be an older kid who can take him under their wing.

They longer term issue is getting his SEN met. You don't need a diagnosis for this although it helps.

So if ds has, eg difficulties with social communication in the playground, then that is something the school should be doing something about. They may already have a social skills group where kids learn social skills through the conscious channel eg how to use the right volume, how to stand in the right place etc. But if not they can call in a SALT to advise.

Hope this helps
Enjoy the cuddles

Sen
ps my asd relative had cognitive behaviour therapy and I think there are now options adapted for ASD

I wonder if part of his anxiety is not knowing what to expect after a break from the usual routine? If so, maybe it would help to talk him through (or make a visual timetable?) of some things he can expect to happen during the day: breakfast, dress in uniform, walk to school, class register, etc.

Of course, you might not know Tuesday's lesson plan or what the class will be learning, but it may help if he can anchor to certain things he can expect.

Agree with senvet about getting school on board - both short and long-term. If DS's school go back on Tuesday, will Monday be a staff-training/inset day? Might be worth calling school in advance to let them know about his anxiety and ask what could be put in place, then let DS know for reassurance.