Has anyone had their teenager assessed for ASD?

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

If so, what prompted you to do it?

Did you put it off when they were younger?

How did it go/what happened and was it helpful for your child?

I have an approaching 15 year old, we had an appointment at CAHMS when he was about 11, at this appointment they said he had some traits but equally some things that indicated otherwise and that they felt any assessment would be borderline, at the time he was doing quite well after a long period of being bullied, he was about to go to high school away from the children that had been giving him bother so we chose not to have him further assessed.

I'm worried now that we've done him a disservice. He still struggles socially and having a conversation is like wading through treacle. He is actually annoying to speak to, difficult to describe, but every thing you say to him is responded to in a sarcastic rejoinder or is a one word closed response - then you have to try asking something else....and so on. He currently doesn't really have friends. he has had but I am wondering if they get fed up with the lack of feedback. He is quiet but seems to be doing well enough at school and doesn't seem to be having any bullying issues. I wouldn't say he was unhappy but not happy either. He looks awkward and uncomfortable, struggles to speak to people etc. I struggle to work out how much of this is just being a shy teenager or whether there are bigger issues and whether he would benefit from being assessed.

What does he think about being assessed? I think CAMHS would want to know his feelings and thoughts as well as yours.

If he wants to go forward then I would totally recommend it, my Dd3 was only 9 when she was diagnosed but knowing that she has Asd is of great benefit to all of us.

Good luck

Thank you - I've not spoken to him about it at all. I am not sure how much he is aware. Obviously he was at the appointment with us but at that time we were not really sure what they were going to say, his behavior at school was very indicative of ASD but at that time it wasn't so much at home. We thought that it was really going to be about helping him with some counselling for the bullying rather than looking to see if he had ASD. He has been very open to getting help with his confidence - we went to school about it as they said they could help (i'd called them as I wasn't sure if we needed to go through school again if we wanted to go back to CAHMS) they didn't help at all and we've been left another year down the line and no further forward.

I just want to help him and I keep finding myself getting angry and frustrated with him sometimes with they way he speaks (when you can get a word out of him) and then i feel really guilty as I am not sure if he can help it or not, and I don't really know what to do to help him :(

I am glad to hear it has helped your daughter and you, how old is she now? How did it help?

My relative was diagnosed in her 40s. Before the dx process she was unsure, but only because she wanted to please her dad (who was adamant that there was nothing) and the others who thought there was something there.

I asked her what she thought.

She said "It would be nice to think that what separates me from my fellow humans was not, after all these years, my fault".

Now she is quite used to the fact that she does some things differently and cheerfully asks to be told where to stand if she is standing in the wrong place. She is happy.

The only thing I should add is that 15, when the hormones are all over the place, will be a tricky time for communication. This bit: but every thing you say to him is responded to in a sarcastic rejoinder or is a one word closed response - then you have to try asking something else would describe many nt teens, including mine.

The key thing is struggling with social communication and not having friends. And not being happy. What options do you have for tackling those with and also without a dx?

Thank you senvet. The bit about wanting to please really strikes a chord. He is overly compliant and pretty much does as he is told to do, I never know if they are things he wants to do or not or whether he is just trying to please.

I guess that's what I mean really if we knew for certain one way or another, would we as parents and he find life a bit easier knowing there was a reason?

We have tried to work with him in baby steps about asking for things in shops etc, saying please and thank you when we are in restaurants etc.

He has tried to arrange things with people he believes are his friends and they have either fallen through or friends haven't replied etc. he is reluctant to try again and I don't really blame him. He is beyond the age now where i can do it for him. He used to go on'line gaming with these boys and was quite animated - that rarely happens now and he mostly plays by himself.

We approached school and they said they could help but we never heard anything else. They did say they had a perfect group for help with social skills/anxiety but he couldn't go as it was just for girls!! Very frustrating and I really don't know where else to go or what to do to help him. :(

Sounds like a dx might be helpful then, but even without dx, if he is clearly having difficulties with social skills then the school should be doing something.

the law says that SEN must be met, first through the school's budget and then through the LA budget if the school does not have enough.

And these days the law is all about long term out comes. If you think dc;s social skills would make it difficult for him to get a job, then that falls straight into EHCP criteria.

Also, is he on track for moving towards independent living? If he has trouble asking for things in shops, then there is work to be done.

again school should be thinking about social skills training for this, plus any other things that leave him behind his peers eg organising himself to sort a list, take the right money, buy the right stuff and cook a meal.

The dx is a sideshow in a way as the observable needs should be met by law right now. That said, a dx makes it a lot easier to wake the school, LA etc up and making them DO something.

Hope this helps

Thanks for that again senvet. We are in Scotland so none of that will apply although the principle is the same, they should be helping him. They are not interested and he is on what is called here, staged intervention, which is meant to mean that they provide support and regularly review his progress. Despite me pushing on many occasions, nothing has happened. They talk a good game when you are there but the follow up doesn't happen. tbh i don't think they know what they are doing :(

It is a very academic school (in top 3 state schools) and he does well academically and his behaviour is perfect so therefore he isn't on their radar. We get the whole speech about how they are developing independent learners, responsible citizens and ensuring that everyone can reach their potential but it's all talk as far as I can see.

Even down to stupid stuff like his handwriting isn't great. The english teacher raised that she'd like him to use a laptop in class. We asked if we needed to do anything about that, she said no that she would organise. 6 months down the line and we've heard nothing again.

The National Autistic Society have a helpline and advice for Scotland

here is the link
www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/education-rights-service/how-to-contact-us.aspx

The key bit says:-

"If you live in Scotland

Telephone (leave a message on our answering service) 0808 800 4102 and press option 3 for our Education Advice Line and option 4 for our Appeals and Tribunals Line
Email: [email protected]
Using our online enquiry form"

Hope they can help

Hi again one, Dd3 is 12 now and having the diagnosis has helped her to be more comfortable in her own skin, she realised that she wasnt like other children but didnt know why and now she does!

She used to find it difficult to turn down social invites eg parties which she often hated but since knowing why she finds them so hard she picks and choses what she goes to and we support her by accepting or rejecting invitations.

Having her diagnosis has helped us as a family too, we have educated ourselves about Asd and found the best ways to try to help her!

School has not been much of a success for us as she finds it very difficult in so many ways!

Hope some of that helps.

Thanks once again senvet - i'll definitely be contacting them and see what they have to say. I think we are going to have to have a good chat with DS to see how aware he is and what he wants to do - suspect the answer will be "I don't know" though.

Thank you Ineedmorepatience it's good to hear that your daughter is doing well (apart from school that is) and that it has been a helpful experience.

I think the thing is that during the CAHMS appointment they really seemed to be stressing the point that in their view any assessment was likely to come out borderline so that's what really made us decide not to go any further at it seemed that it wouldn't really establish things one way or another.

OK both my dcs have trouble handwriting. ds is dyspraxic and touchtyping was the solution. dd is hypermobile so that is like writing with thick woolly gloves on. Same thing, touch typing is the order of the day. Dyspraxia and ASD are often seen together and an OT can advise. If you can afford a good private one it will be quicker and more thorough, or at least that how it is in England.

We were told to watch out that they learn to touch type correctly to avoid repetitive strain injury. So Touch Type Read and Spell tutor was recommended for ds who learned at age 9 approx and a typing teacher with small classes was just fine for dd learning at 14.

If you can organise your own, I would as it sounds like the school will take an age and possibly do it badly.

Then it is just a matter of making sure that they give typing concessions for all work and exams, especially public exams, from here on. (or from as soon as dc can touch type)

Good Luck

Having got a 7 year old DD and a 32 hubby who have both just been diagnosed with Asperger's, I most def would want an assessment sooner rather than later. Hubby reports always feeling and knowing he was different, wanting to join in, but not knowing how etc. even now social things are an issue. I've suspected he had it as well as DD for many many years, but it was only getting far into the process with DD that he began to realise maybe this is why he'd felt different and struggled in the way he has. He wishes it had been picked up earlier.

As others have said, what you describe could, at least in part, be down to being a NT teenager. However a lot of what you describe, and perhaps the Gravity of it, could be down to some form of ASD. Even if not, having the assessment could well identify areas that he needs help and support with, and open the doors to those bits too.

The NAS website has lots of great info on there. Hubby found reading that really helpful and insightful.

Thanks both that is really useful and it is making me lean towards progressing some testing but first stage is to speak to him. I think I'll have a bit of a google to see what the best way to approach it is.

Re the handwriting, I think that may be a red herring tbh. he is quite a skilled artist (very detailed drawing) and technical drawer with designs on being an architect or engineer. He has won school prizes for his technical work. There is no issue with his fine motor skills per se. That's why we haven't really pushed it, I guess i was trying to illustrate the lack of support from school in that even when they suggest something out of the blue, they still don't action it. One of his primary teachers taught him to write beautifully (aged 9) before and after her his writing was and is poor - i think it is a combination of laziness and trying to rush to get everything down to be honest.

My friend is hypermobile and yet a professional illustrator. She struggled to get exams done in time and writes untidily and slowly. But getting her position fixed and taking time she can achieve brilliantly.

dd ditto,but not a paid artist (yet).

IMO touch typing should be taught to all school kids, as it is so prevalent. Most of us only use a pen to sign out names occasionally.