What do you ASD/Aspie pre-teens *do* all day during holidays????

[Doraemon]

DS1 is nearly 10 and has high-functioning ASD, very Aspie type interests (minecraft, Dr Who etc) and struggles to think of things to do with himself that don't centre around computer/playstation/writing endless imaginary football leagues. Holidays are difficult - he hates busy places but also wants to spend ages loafing around in his pyjamas which makes it hard to get anywhere before it gets busy. Summer is easier because we are within walking distance of countryside so we can spend time jumping off rocks and eating ice cream (providing no other children are anywhere near his favourite rocks.... I also have 7 year old NT DS2 and 2 year old NT-but-stroppy-toddler DD which complicates things.
What do your kids with ASD actually do all do during holidays? How much do you push them to turn Minecraft off and do something else? I think I'm partly feeling guilty that school holidays are meant to be full of exciting stuff and partly fed up of having to try to come up with things he will consent to do....

DS is 10. He does minecraft, watches movies/tv either at home or cinema. He goes on his trampoline and loves the park and bike rides. I do make DS have a break from his tablet during the afternoon otherwise he would be on it all day.
He hates going to the shops normally and its very easy to overstimulate him so we don't go constantly from one activity to another. We sometimes do museums or theme parks but normally in the 6 week hols.
He loves treasure hunts so i see if there are any locally. There is usually some of some description at the local mill or national trust place. They are aimed at younger ones but he's not bothered.
It hard work though trying to get him off the tablet and sometimes i feel like we dont do enough then i remember the massive meltdowns we have if we do too much then i dont feel so bad.

Its hard when you have the others to think of! I used to be able to get Dd3 out early in the morning for parks and occasionally soft play in the holidays but she is too big for many of them now.

Now we tend to get up late and go out at lunchtime, we go in the woods or if we are away to the beach or a lake or waterfall or something. We all prefer less busy places so hunt them out or try to get off the beaten track !

Dd3 does spend a lot of time plugged in but she hasnt been coping well at school so we have backed right off at home and are giving her plenty of downtime.

I agree with fairgame about the quiz things at NT places, they probably all have Easter egg hunts on at the moment so you might be able to get to one later in the day when the masses have got fed up and gone home maybe?

Good luck

Have you tried Geocaching? Might be useful if you find there are caches local to you to try it out (or even encourage DS to create and track his own).

Am embarrassed to say mostly "minecraft". Am trying to unplug ds2 at the moment. Occasionally he will go out for a walk or will do something like cooking or woodwork but it requires a lot of encouragement on our parts.

ds1 is a bit better and likes visiting museums etc or doing active stuff like cycling, climbing or swimming but he has become very socially anxious in the last few months so it has become very, very difficult finding a place where he can do these activities. Too few people seems to be as stressful as too many people - sigh!!!

Luckily, they only overlap for a week these holidays so we can do stuff on a one-to-one basis as going out with the pair of them is very difficult.

Thanks everyone, nice to know I'm not the only one struggling to get them out of the house. Going somewhere late in the day hadn't really occurred to me before (I am much more of a morning person) but is worth a try.
DS2 went to cricket training today and there were only 2 of them there so I have told DS1 he will be going too tomorrow - he usually does cricket in the summer but has struggled with the indoor training over the winter, I think the acoustics of the sports hall are difficult for him. But if there's only a few kids there he should cope.

My two also love Minecraft, but also so far this holiday have also done a lot of trampolining, a couple of trips to the park, one to the zoo, have made one 'cafe' (they take out lots of snacky type things, write a menu and offer them to us), made fruit salad, and one made a treasure hunt with chocolate raisins and clues for the other.

They can tolerate a trip out every so often, but generally prefer to be at home. They loved the zoo though, because there was so much to see and they're getting old enough now (8 and 10) that we can leave them to look around by themselves for short amounts of time and then come back to us. Such a far cry from a few years ago when they would both be constantly wandering off and getting lost!

Ds has played minecraft and terraria.
He has dismantled a toy gun to make an even better one.
Dug a trench and discovered that the dog will help him far better than a sibling, digs where ds wants her to and best of all, doesn't try to take over!
We have managed an afternoon out, but he has generally been funny this week about leaving the house.

computer (limited)
take photos of things
make things with paper or card and lots of sellotape
go shopping for more sellotape
walk. lots. at my insistence
spend half a day on various buses
argue with his slightly younger brother
torment said brother
whine about said brother
insist said brother has TV on
fight about which lights are on or off with said brother

He did decorate some cookies that he'd helped me to make, this week and will help with and decorate some cupcakes, next week.

I'm so relieved to read this message! DD would spend all day every day on iPad if left to own devices, with short breaks to bake more cupcakes than anyone could ever eat. She also makes lists of everything and anything.

I've been trying to fabricate reasons she has to go out at least every couple of days - otherwise she doesn't get dressed or wash at all and then isn't tired at bed time and keeps the whole house awake half the night. So I go out with the other two and leave her a note saying "meet us at x" at a certain time or "if you're baking today you need to buy flour from the shop" or whatever, obviously with very precise instructions about what aisle it is in In the shop. And even then sometimes she phones me to ask how many people will be in the queue in front of her and of they ask of she wants a bag what should she say. I do just adore her. When I think of the challenges she overcomes to do such normal things - our kids are just such heroes. Anyway, I digress....

This is all hugely easier now that she is 12. When she was too young to be left at home alone she could hold the whole family to random and it was just awful. If it was just me and the kids we would be completely stuck, only able to go out if DD was able for it, we had meltdowns a plenty, or if DH around then he would take the other two and i would stay with DD- but that was not ideal by any stretch as it meant I had basically no leisure time with my other two kids.

In term time I give her one day a week - Saturday- when I promise she won't have to do anything or go anywhere unless she wants to, she can just mooch around in her dressing gown all day if she wants. I think she needs this time after the major over stimulation of the week at secondary school.

I have dd2 suspected aspergers but also have dd1 who has ADHD who will go stir crazy if we stayed in the house all day! We tend to have a day in followed by a day out. Dd2 would love to stay home on her iPad but she does like going out once we are actually there. We tend to do outdoorsy stuff like beach, woods, parks, fields, quay, bike rides etc. or cinema bowling zoo etc

Have the Games Workshop games gone out of favour now? My oldest ds was crazy about these from the age of around 10 and stayed with them into his mid teens. He's an adult now and has never had a dx but has lots of Asperger's traits and as a grown up he has been asked by people if he was "on the spectrum". He functions extremely well so we've not really pursued it, although I did for a while when he was at infant school as his "quirks" were still quite pronounced then. Anyway, he and other children I know who were diagnosed spent part of every school holiday and every weekend gaming at the Games Workshop premises, and his junior school set up a Games Workshop club at that time. Of course these were all boys. Don't remember any girls being involved.

After a certain age (can't remember what, though) he was deemed old enough to be left in the shop without me and I could go elsewhere in town with the younger ds's. They, both NT, only had the briefest flirtation with Games Workshop.

Has Games Workshop gone out of favour then? Oldest ds, many Asperger's traits but never had dx, was crazy about their games from aged 10 to around mid teens and he collected horrendous amounts of the figures. He used to go to the shop for gaming sessions at weekends and school holidays, accompanied by me, from 10 yrs old. At some point (can't remember what age) they are allowed to go to the gaming sessions on their own so I'd drop him off and go elsewhere in town with the younger ds's. All the ASD boys we knew from school used to hang out there and seemed to cope remarkably well with issues like losing games which I know was difficult for some of them in other settings.

Sorry, posted twice as I thought I'd lost original post - have a habit of closing them down before posting.

At that age, I LOVED the holidays and thrived on being alone doing my own hobbies. I used to play on the computer for around 14 hours a day! It was heavenly.

So reassuring to read all these responses.

I have 10yo ds1 who has Aspergers and ADD. He would very happily spend the entire fortnight watching pokemon videos on his iPad and playing minecraft, interspersed with play dates with school friends (he is quite social as long as he's in his comfort zone and is blessed with a good sized group of like minded friends, some quirky boys and some on the spectrum) and a bit of bouncing on the trampoline. He would be quite happy not to leave the house at all but does definitely crave the company of others his own age / interests.

However I also have two younger DC-similar to you OP, a 5yo who is NT and 2yo who is NT but in full on toddler mode-and juggling everyone's needs is hard. Both of the younger two are pretty sunny natured and sociable. Perhaps unsurprisingly, DS1 finds them very irritating on a good day, utterly unbearable the rest of the time, and will generally avoid them if he can.

So it's a struggle.

This holiday I have booked him on a holiday club thing with his best mate for two days, and the rest of the time we've done the best we can. I compromise on allowing fairly extensive use of the iPad when we're in, as long as we do go out and about once a day. He can cope fine with an outing as long as I'm clear about what we're doing and for how long, and specify what screen time will be allowed before and after going out. He is also much much happier if he has one of his mates around or to join in.

What I have realised this holiday though is that he really, really needs a daily break from the younger two to stay sane. Fortunately he is independent and high functioning enough that I can happily leave him at home for short periods (up to an hour and a half, say) so I can take the younger two to the park and leave him having chill out time at home.

This is all sounding very familiar! We have done Minecraft, skylanders, trampoline, national trust Easter egg hunt, a few park outings and very empty 10am cinema trip.

Over Christmas we barely left the house, so it's been a roaring success tbh

Very familiar here too with my aspie ds1 who's nearly 9. I struggle massively with trying to keep him happy and finding enough for ds2 who is nt and 7. Ds2 is very sporty but doesn't like going to things alone or leaving me but I did manage to get him to go to a tennis workshop the other day. Ds1 would be happiest on mine craft or watching endless you tube videos on planes (his obsession) or playing his violin. He is quite like Dietcoke 'ds in that he does like to be around friends and he has an aspie friend who he loves.

Ds isn't aware of his dx yet,we've only just had the assessment and we're waiting for the report to come through. We've got some books that have been recommended but tbh I'm dreading telling him. Does anyone have any tips.?

One day out with family.
One day coming to work with me.
The rest of the time? Minecraft, Wii, Youtube, playing the clarinet, bouncing on the trampoline and watching Netflix. In rotation.

To reassure you, DS1 (neurotypical) does much the same. Except it's SIMS 4.

We also went to the cinema to see Big Hero 6. It was quite crowded (negative) but he loved the film (positive).

Minecraft, Minecraft or more Minecraft. DS (ASD) has friends in the street to play with. DD (aspergers, not diagnosed) has more problems as there are no quirky girls locally, I really feel for her. She likes to read and watch Stampey on You Tube

The decision to tell DS2 about his diagnosis was taken out of our hands, as the HCPs told us in a meeting that he also attended.

The book that helped him come to terms with his diagnosis was "Asperger Syndrome, the universe and everything" by Kenneth Hall.

DS1 is 12 and I'm pretty sure has undiagnosed Aspergers. He spends a lot of time winding up his younger brothers (9 NT and 6 ASD), for no reason other than to get a rise out of them. He still enjoys building elaborate Brio tracks, but then yells at DS3 when he wants to play with them too. He doesn't really play with toys, but does sometimes get lego figures or characters from Games Workshop and lines them up as if they're going to have a battle and then spends ages jumping around next to them with the 'story' going on in his head. He likes bouncing on the trampoline. He can be quite independent so sometimes I send him to the supermarket with a small list. He would happily spend all day in the house watching Horrible Histories videos on youtube.