So sad that I hate half term/ hols

[saintmaybe]

I never wanted to be a mum who didn't look forward to school hols, but finding it so hard in hols to balance needs of ds1,9 (nt) ds2,7 (autistic) and dd,2 (nt). Usual kid places are getting harder and harder for us and this half-term ds1 went to stay with granny to get outside and have fun(!) Losing touch with other friends with kids 'cos a day out with us is hard work sometimes and feeling so crap that ds1's childhood is passing without many good times, we have to do what works for ds2 and its boring to go to the little playground/ stay in the house for 9yr old.. All 3 dcs are FAB, but I'm so today. Pretty new to mn, been reading not posting for 2 weeks, sorry to 1st appear so miserable, honestly not always like this! Anyone else find school hols v lonely?

Me too. I'm pretty much housebound during the holidays. Taking all 3 out together can be a nightmare. Ds2 tends to get hyper and run off or has meltdowns, and that in turn upsets ds1 because he can't bear to see anyone breaking 'the rules'.

It doesn't help that the groups where I can usually take ds2 are generally closed during the holidays.

Welcome to the SN board.

Thanks coppertop

Hi

Welcome to the SN board. I have a NT 7 year old and an SN 5y old (autistic/dyspraxic traits - no diagnosis). We can get out okay to quite a few places although it can be hard work, but I still dread more than a few days by ourselves because the two children have such different needs. Plus we are doing an RDI program with Ds2 which we should work on each day but it is constantly interrupted by Ds1 needing help or wanting to tell me something yet I feel guilty if I don't do it properly. If I couldn't get out of the house with them each day even for just a walk I would tear my hair so I really sympathise with you and understand why you find it difficult. You too Coppertop, I think you do brilliantly to cope so cheerfully .

yes...i find i am torn between loving having them home...so i am not worrying about what they are going to be like when they get home from school...or whether i have a pair of socks for them to wear ...or any of the other millions of hassles .......but then i can't cope at home either. so i spend the week housebound...segregating the boys so they are safe...not geing able to even do the simplist of household chores (though stranegly enough manage to post on mn!!!)...then they go back to school and i still cannot do the simple housework cos i am then either consumed by the guilt of what i didn't do with the boys at halfterm/worrying what is happening at school/attending meetings at school about boys behaviour...or lying in bed- wishing the day would end so anotehr can start.

so..i envy those mums who love the holidays...who have plenty of appropriate holiday schemes...and who feel able to go out and about with their children.

so saintmaybe...welcome to mn...this is the only place i ever freely admit my crap feelings...everyone in real life comments how cheerful i am...but here amongst friends we can be honest. being a mum is a job i want to resign from frequently...yet equally...feel unable to let anyone else jobshare...as only i do it right!!!!

Hi saker, yeah, it's getting to the end of some days and wondering if I've done anything useful for ANYbody. Having said that, I know I'm lucky; we can get out if DP or another adult is there, and we do have good days, and family do help out. I did a home programme for couple of years too, and DS2 still has 1 weekday at home, so I do get to do stuff he likes. DS1 is pretty angry, though, at what seems unfair to him, and what feels like favouring his brother, and I find it difficult to hear him say 'I hate him'. I know lots of kids say stuff like that sometimes but...ouch!

Thanks guys feeling so much better for moan/cry and getting ready to don happy face.