DS2 diagnosed with ASC

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Hi,
Just got back from 3 1/2 hour meeting with doctor and SEN at DS's school and she gave instant diagnosis of ASD. Said he was a classic Asperger diagnosis but that that term got dropped last year, so now he's classified as 'on the ASC spectrum.'
I have no idea what to do next, how to help etc. We first asked for help because he has quite acute dyspraxia which was causing him problems at school (v slow handwriting so getting into trouble not finishing work, despite being bright etc.) I had no idea he might have ASC. The teachers said they saw signs and wanted him to be tested.
I've come away feeling so sad for him. he thinks he gets on fine with other children. they don't. he thinks he's sociable. teachers say he's unpopular. I love him so much. I don't want him to feel isolated.

Any advice from anyone who has found the diagnosis helped or who has any tips?

TIA.

Diagnosis is a really odd moment. You want a magic wand to make it go away, but at the same time would rather know what is happening so that you can help.

He is still your wonderful dc with all his cleverness. Being different from the mainstream-majority-bogstandard classmates doesn't change that. He will still want you to run with his enthusiasms, and you sound as though there will be lots of successes up ahead to look forward to.

Once you have had a chance to take stock, you will find masses of information, some of which you will think will help ds, some might, and some definitely won't. I would say your instincts are usually a pretty good guide.

There may be so much to take on board in terms of therapies to consider, assessments to think about EHC Plans etc it can be overwhelming.
I am a wheelchair user, and when my legs stopped working, I did 'disability admin' at a set time of the day, for an hour or two, and got on with enjoying life the rest of the time. Otherwise it took over everything.

I also made a mental list of friends who were good to call for distraction and funny stories, and friends who were good for talking to more deeply when I needed it.

And a distraction thing worked - 'displacement activity' - I have used reading, sudoku, chess all sorts that absorbed my mind and reduced stress.

In terms of the social skills, the Speech and Language Therapists are the folk who should be sorting social skills training so that your dc can learn through the conscious channel what most kids pick up instinctively. It is a bit like training 'please and thankyou' until it becomes automatic, but it is working on the things dc needs to 'get', so maybe how far apart to stand for dcs who stand too close or too far away, or working on conversation skills for dcs who go on at length about their chosen subject without realising that the listener is bored. That is usually taught in small groups. And a bright dc stands a good chance of picking plenty of it up.

My relative had that training and is now able to look like any mainstream person, is earning and married.

Hope this helps

Senvet, that is such a lovely, full, helpful and warm answer. Just what I needed. Thank you so much!

There are lots of brilliant supportive mums/dads with ASD kids on these boards - you will be in good hands going forwards.

Glad to help

Sorry, forgot to say I had to google ASC, I thought it was a typo for ASD.
I've seen HFA for High Functioning Autism. Not sure who benefits from these name changes.

Take Care

Hi there,

Our DD has recently been diagnosed with Asperger's as well. Tbh, we've battled for five years to get some answers, so the diagnosis was a relief. But I can imagine that it doesn't always feel that way.

Our DD feels similar about children at school. She does have some friends, but it's clear the ones who stay clear, and I fear the parents do too.

Make the most of any help and support out there. Make sure you are receiving all the help you can, and things like DLA to help financially.

Ultimately, it doesn't change who your son is, it just gives you some answers and access to help and support for you and him, to make life easier.

My DS was diagnosed a couple of years ago. It was no great surprise as I had suspected it. A teacher mentioned the possibility and we got him tested. The testing involved a multi disciplinary team which included a clinical psych and a SALT meeting and assessing DS and speaking to us as well as speaking with the school and the EP who assessed DS also. It seems a bit unusual for your DS to be assessed and diagnosed at school by a doctor just on the basis of teachers concerns and without input from other sources. Maybe I have got it wrong but it sounds as if you didn't know he was going to be assessed today? Was the doctor a paed?

Hi,
Thanks for the replies.

Teawaster (great name) the confusion is probably my own reluctance. I was pushing hard for dyspraxic testing first and ASC only if the dyspraxia diagnosis and support didn't make a difference. The original paed who saw him backed me up.

He then had an OT test which flagged lots of dyspraxic traits but also some ASC ones (I was told very robustly that it's ASC now, not ASD and Asperger's also no longer exists as a diagnosis it's autism only from now on. I agree the endless shifting of names does nothing for anyone, except make it harder to Google help when you're under duress. Though I don't like 'disorder' as it's a difference not an illness. We were advised to go nowhere near books written before the last couple of years as they'd got it all wrong. Which makes me feel a bit [hmmm] about what they'll say about this year's advice next year.) Should have had a Speech and Language person there today as well but she was ill and paed didn't want to delay his assessment.

bitbap I'm fed up of those parents, the ones who keep their darlings away from people who are a bit different. DS isn't violent, he never has temper tantrums.

I am now a fan of ASC. I have been going on for ages about how ASC it is a reflection of the mainstream's failure to accommodate a minority way of doing things.

I agree senvet. I don't really see why DS should be classified as having something wrong with him just because his brain works differently from the majority. he's lovely. he's gorgeous. He's just different.