Should I / how should I explain to dd's friend that she has SN?

[Saracen]

It hasn't really been an issue in dd's social circle, where she is well accepted. Some of them haven't noticed she's different. Some have noticed for themselves but don't particularly care. A couple have asked me or their parents about it. The parents are all aware. My dd knows she has some physical difficulties but not that she has learning difficulties.

I am sort of hoping to glide along like this indefinitely, and let the kids make their own observations or ask their own questions when it matters to them, if ever.

So I am puzzled what to say to dd's 5yo friend, who keeps asking if she can join a club dd goes to. It's a club for kids with special needs, so the friend wouldn't be able to join. The club exists to help children who would find it difficult to access mainstream clubs. It's totally brilliant for dd and she talks about it often!

Somehow I don't feel like going into any detail with the friend about why dd couldn't do other clubs and therefore needs this one, whereas friend doesn't - especially since the conversation is likely to happen in dd's presence!

Any ideas?

No but following as DS wants to go to DDs gymnastics and swimming clubs (both for children with disabilities). He doesn't see that she has any disability. Actually DS also can't wait till he gets his wheelchair, he thinks it's a right of passage

It would be honest to say to dc's friend that dd's club does not have a space for her, sorry.

I feel a bit useless to help you otherwise as my dcs were older when they were diagnosed with things and it went largely unnoticed by their peers before that, as far as I know.

I dont think you need to justify yourself to the little girl. At that age it is enough for them just be told that she cant go!

If further questions are asked I would do what senvet suggested and say its full!

II work with very young children and in the group we habe several children with complex disabilities. When the children ask questions about AFO's and Kaye walkers which they do all the time we just say "X just needs a bit of extra help!" They accept that and move on. They really dont need complicated explanations.

Good luck

Thanks guys! That's sort of what has happened already.

I told her that she couldn't go because only members can come along to club sessions, and she then assumed that she wasn't being allowed to join now because of her age (dd is 3.5 years older than she is). So she began to talk about how she's going to join when she's older, and asking how old she'll have to be, and I changed the subject. It just didn't quite feel honest to me. But I guess there is no perfect answer, so maybe this will have to do for now.