Strategies for handling behaviour greatly appreciated.

[Nancyclancy]

My dd aged 3yrs & 10 months is showing signs of possibly being on the autistic/aspergers spectrum.
I suspected and the pre school have mentioned it.
Anyway, we've had some behavioural issues in the past. The main one being a high pitched scream that would go on forever if she couldn't get her own way or didn't like being somewhere.
Her physical/speech development has been significantly late too, so we can't work out if it's behavioural/frustration or there's more to it.
But although she still has the tendency to scream she's definitely not quite as bad and as her physical development has improved her tantrums have lessened.

Recently though, she's started to get upset if people around her fold their arms??? She starts getting cross and will scream. Today she even walked across the room and unfolded my friends arms??
How should I handle this??
I feel ok about the fact she may well have autism/aspergers but I would just like someone to shed some light on how we should approach things, whilst we are waiting for the professionals???

If a parent asked me to unfold my arms because it upset her ASD-dc I would be very happy to oblige.

Maybe someone had their arms folded in class when they were in a mood and were told to unfold them - dc therefore regards it as a rule.

The body language website says crossed arms means a defensive, negative or nervous attitude, so dc may be doing them a favour as changing the posture may make them feel better!

Have a look at ABA. It helped my son greatly

I have known a couple of children with ASD to not like people sitting with their legs crossed. I always see it as their need for things being where they should be. As she gets older and her understanding grows then you could look at a social story about this (if you google 'social stories autism' you should get more information) However as she is quite young I would be up front with the person who has their arms folded and ask them if they would mind. Unfortunately this is not always possible. Children with ASD do sometimes have obsessions but you have to be very careful about trying to stop an obsession as they may replace it with something worse. I find it better to work with the child and consider it to be a 'special interest'.

Could you try some role play with dolls or some drawing to explore what happens around arm-folding? I found this helped with my DS. It can also help when there is limited or delayed speech.

Thank you for your replies. I will take a look at ABA and introduce her to role play games etc. I definitely think Simon says could help.
Over the weekend she's not been too bad, my bil folded his arms yesterday and she walked over and unfolded them without screaming. He made a point of tickling her every time she did it, which she found funny.

This morning 2 mums at school were standing next to us with their arms folded and she got upset, I mentioned it and they quickly unfolded their arms. So far people have been really helpful, but she's got to accept it.