I need some help. ASD child with emotional self-regulation problems in school.

[ObsidianEagle]

Long story short, DS is 8, in yr 3 and is dx'd with DCD/SPD and currently under investigation for ADHD/ASD.

One thing he has big issues with is emotional self-regulation, and today had an epic meltdown in school, which once again (its happened before) they have labelled as a 'tantrum'

I honestly feel like i'm banging my head against a brick wall.

These episodes basically start with him getting upset about something, usually 'independent writing' which he does at the computer. He gets it into his head that he cant do it (fear of failure issue, also mentioned on his IEP) and despite support to do it himself, gets more and more upset/worked up the more they tell him to just get on with it. Then it gets to the point he starts screaming/crying and its so loud, it upsets the other kids.

They try to stop it, he cant, so they remove him from the classroom, he gets told off some more, but still carries on screaming/crying, eventually he gets hoofed off to the deputy head who eventually gets him to calm down, but this has been going on for at least 30 mins to an hour.

Now, i have explained to them time and time and fucking time again that once he gets to the point that he is SCREAMING then he has lost control and he is at that point, to all intents and purposes HAVING A MELTDOWN and he needs HELP to get control, and to continue to tell him off or discipline him is only going to prolong the situation, and that they really, really need to recognise that he's building to that and head it off before it happens.

At home if he goes into this meltdown state we either count him backwards from 3 with guided deep breaths, hug it out (Deep pressure) or allow him to retreat to his bedroom where he is safe and can come to and end of it naturally. At school he is supposed to be offered the use of the 'sensory room' to do this, but yet again today, he didnt get that because initially DS refused to leave the classroom, and also they 'forgot' about it.

I dont know what to do, i really dont, i feel like a stuck record having to go into the SENCO about it AGAIN, and tackling the belief in it being a tantrum, AGAIN!

What the hell do i do?

he finished his OT sessions a couple of months ago, so is pretty much signed off now.

I wasn't sure if i could apply for an EHCP with dyspraxia/spd, i dont quite understand them tbh.

I haven't heard of the Alert programme either! But i will look up those books. :)

No, the OT was mostly about his dyspraxia, there wasn't much of anything else involved in it, other than the deep pressure method for helping him calm down.

they are supposed to be writing to the school but nothing's appeared yet.

How long before the ASD ADHD is sorted?

I really get frustrated with the gap between the way the law thinks the thing is meant to work and the way that it doesn't in practice.

As parents are usually right, then if you think those diagnoses are likely to be confirmed, you are probably right.

So EHCP would be the way to go if they are, and possibly also if they are not.

The OT tends to be given out in blocks, but if your dc has ongoing sensory OT needs then I would try and find a sensory OT and see if you can get GP to refer you.

The deep pressure working is good news - are there any other sensory issues that you notice?

We're still working it out. He's both seeking and avoidant depending on different things. We know he's a chewer, and he wears a chew at all times, but he's food avoidant. He's a seeker for vestibular and proprioceptive senses, but hates bright lights and noise and strong smells. He always wears hooded clothes at home but school won't allow that, or a hat, so he relies on his chew, which can double as a fiddle toy, to help calm him down.

No idea on the adhd, we've had confirmation from camhs that he's being referred, now waiting for appt to come through, but its a formality in their eyes, and the ASD psychologist who saw him in school thinks its ASD too.

its so frustrating isn't it, my ds's school were the same..ds has meltdown the school saw it as a tantrum and poor behaviour, sent to the head, talked to about how his behaviour had to change etc..familiar story sadly.

I eventually moved schools because the school simply wouldn't listen or take on board anything I said to them, after all they are the 'experts' and I am an over protective, anxious mother . Unfortunately, even when ds was diagnosed with Asperger's things didn't improve for him, most of his teachers still believed that he could control himself and it was all done for attention, ffs !!
Maybe you could look around for another school ? I waited (hoping things would get better) for far too long and my ds suffered as a result.
If you get an EHC plan that would mean the provision has to carried out by law (as long as it is provided under the educational part) and you can challenge if your ds's needs are not being met. Good luck