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SN children

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Original poster

Difficulty following instruction

9 replies

MooMummyMoo · 03/03/2015 15:12

DD has just turned 3. She has suspected Aspergers.

We have just had a trial gymnastics session. I didn't know when she left for pre- school this morning that we would be going so when I picked her up and suddenly told her we weren't going home as normal but doing something else, I was expecting a meltdown at the unexpected change.

To my relief and surprise she coped brilliantly! Rushing her in to the toilets at pre-school to change her out of her clothes and in to gym suitable clothes. Having an odd packed lunch whilst driving in the car. All fine. Fantastic!

When we got there at first she wouldn't join in. But quickly did. Fantastic!

But she couldn't follow the instruction. There was a lot of waiting for your turn and following round to try different things, and she just couldn't. She just didn't understand.

Children much younger than her could do what they were asked but she didn't even understand what they were asking her to do. It was so sad to watch. To other parents she looked like a 'naughty little girl', pushing in front, not waiting her turn, flapping up and down the room. But she isn't a 'naughty little girl', I could see she was trying so hard to work out what was going on, but it was all alien to her and the instructions just too quick and complex for her to grasp.

She had a lovely time overall but for me it was sad to watch. We'll try again next week and hopefully she'll understand a bit more of what's going on, I just wish things were easier for her to start with.

Not expecting responses, just posting here as I have no real life parent friends in the same situation.

OP posts:

Ineedmorepatience · 03/03/2015 15:59

Ok you can take this or leave it, there are 2 ways to deal with a child with Asd and group activities. You can either be embarrassed that she wanted to run and flap and didnt always get what she is supposed to be doing! And probably give up after a few weejs because it will get you down, or, you can smile to yourself when she runs and flaps and be happy that she is there having a go and begin to grow a thick skin and rise above the other parents who might scowl and frown and think you should attempt to force her to be like the others!

I know it is hard but stay strong and focus on the amazing things that she can do

PolterGoose · 03/03/2015 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

MooMummyMoo · 03/03/2015 16:23

I didn't tell the instructors. I suppose I should have done.

And yes I guess I need a thicker skin. It's fairly thick already to be honest. People don't tend to approve of me - 4 children in 3.5 years, one of which is disabled - how dreadful. And now another one with SN - can you believe that woman/family... Etc etc

It was more just feeling sad for her, desperately trying to understand what to do, getting it so wrong and then trying to control herself when she was so annoyed with herself for getting it wrong. Not easy to watch.

But as she has a nice time the issue I am sure is more mine. Must just get over it. Onwards to next week.

OP posts:

senvet · 03/03/2015 16:47

If the instructors are good they will sort out a level that she can work at.

Would she let one of them or you take her by the hand for guidance when needed?

The other mums ought to be accommodating if the were aware. My dd used to do dance with a girl with Downs and a girl with ASD/ADHD.

The parents were all lovely to the mum of the Down's girl but could be sharp about the other girl until someone told them she had ASD - then they would look a bit perplexed and embarrassed.

Good Luck

Ineedmorepatience · 03/03/2015 17:02

It is a problem with invisible disabilities but the important thing is that you know why she is doing what she is doing and that you keep praising her attempts!

I agree that you should tell the instructors and get them on board with helping I am sure she wont be the first child with SN's that they have had.

Be proud of your little family, you sound like a great mum to me

Original poster

MooMummyMoo · 03/03/2015 17:03

I think I will say something next week. Should hopefully make things easier.

I tried to help her where I could but it was difficult as I had my 18 month old to contain - she was keen to 'join in', and my poor 4 year old who just had to get on with it herself as I couldn't help her and sort out the other two.

The instructors may try to help a bit more if they know though next week.

OP posts:

Original poster

MooMummyMoo · 03/03/2015 17:04

And thanks too Ineed. That's a very kind thing to say.

OP posts:

ChowNowBrownCow · 03/03/2015 17:57

Well done you for taking her along in the first place! I am currently growing rhino like thick skin myself, as I'm sick of people being judgmental even when I say ds has diagnosis of asd an adhd. They say he doesn't 'look' like he does??? You can choose to explain or choose not to it's completely upto you. If I think ds will benefit from others being told, then I say, if not, then I just look on at whatever he is doing with pride and encourage him. Thick skin is a must IMHO!

frazzledbutcalm · 03/03/2015 20:26

Dd2, age 11 has ASD, SPD, hypermobility. She's been going to gymnastics for over 2 years ... still can't do a forward roll, hand stand, cartwheel ... nothing really She also doesn't talk to the other children there.
For us, the fact that she goes is her massive achievement! She has never ever gone to any club. Toddler groups, play areas etc she would just sit with us and not move from our side. We're proud of her for going and spending the hour without us. It's massive for her.
Hope your dd enjoys gymnastics as much as mine.

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