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Original poster

13 month old wont kiss or make face to face contact with us

11 replies

bazajo · 27/02/2015 21:52

my little boy is walking, babbling, and smiles when smiled at, Interested in.other people ...but just will not allow our faces near his face and freaks if we try to kiss him . he will smack it away and get quite distressed. I have tried everything, kissing toys, games... he just hates it and will do anything to get away from us if we are trying to put our faces near his face. He will come for a.cuddle... but won't be too impressed if I try to approach him for a cuddle him...Will just wriggle away and Continue his walk about (his playing pretty much consists of walking and running from room to room and eating things... mouthing toys non stop...he is constantly mouthing anything he can't find )
he is my third child... My oldest has got Aspergers and didn't like to be kissed....so u can see why I'm being concerned.
apologies for the poor typing...it's my.mobile xx Smile

OP posts:
2boysnamedR · 27/02/2015 22:14

Does he look at books or ever study toys? Will he engage with you in play? If you want to lead play?

Maybe he isn't a kisser yet.

My toddler was / is all over the place. He has only come round to cuddles and kissing since 28 months. Can't get him off me now!

It's a worry when you have a older sn child. You look at every little thing. Unfortunately my gut was right about my toddler.

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 27/02/2015 23:58

My youngest (Autism and LDs) didn't mind at all... or rather, he was oblivious and would happily be kissed, held and cuddled by anyone..ie he had no preference.
My eldest didn't like being held or face on contact...and she still doesn't..except at certain moments and with certain people...it was just 'her'

I can understand your concern, but it may not be autism. He may simply not like people in his personal space... I don't and every baby and toddler photo of me has me turned away from the adult holding me. I STILL don't like people touching me (I joke that even DH has to make an appointment!) I'm not autistic, but I DO NOT want to be touched and find people in my face incredibly difficult and always did.

I think you just have to watch and wait. I have an autistic son, and work with severely autistic children..some are incredibly touchy feely, some aren't and it's just not really an indicator.

senvet · 28/02/2015 00:13

how old is dc? My only thought is that the mouthing, if he is older than say 2, might be a sensory thing. In the last years research on these issues has really grown.

So my relative is averse to touch and wears her t shirts inside out. Some kids are sensory seeking eg mouthing objects. I have seen OTs giving older kids who still mouth a lot some balancing therapy. One kid had plenty of exercise and could then settle for a while. Another could deal with the distraction of sensory seeking by pushing open weighted fire doors or lifting heavy books. It would take a sensory OT to unravel, and may not be appropriate if dc is still an age when mouthing is expected.

Just a thought

Original poster
bazajo · 28/02/2015 06:23

Thank you for your replies.
he will play peekaboo and watch me build a tower and purposely knock it down and laugh, but apart from that he doesn't seem to engage in one to one games.. Will try and eat the book or get away if I read to him, will let me sing a nursery rhyme if he is laying on the bed for example, but seems uncomfortable with them in my lap as my face is closer to him and he will squirm to get away.
he is almost 13 months.

OP posts:
Original poster
bazajo · 28/02/2015 06:27

he seems disinterested in toys, just likes to carry a toy or object from room to room mouthing it. He will however eat anything he can (paper is a favourite) and walk back to me with a 'look at me' kind of look on his face and so I know he's holding something in his mouth Wink Wink

OP posts:
AgnesDiPesto · 28/02/2015 11:35

My DS (asc) is now 8 and whenever I put him to bed shouts 'no kisses!' As he doesn't like them. He can't tell me why yet. He was ok with it as a baby but then regressed. He likes cuddles and tickles but only certain people. I used to cuddle him from behind so he would back on to my lap and he was happier with that he still wouldn't really like a front facing hug. He is quite passive so we had to do rough and tumble to get his attention. Spinning him round, dangling him upside down, squashing him under cushions. He also liked cause and effect toys those ball popper toys or garages where the ramps tip and the car rolls down. You can grab the ball or car at the bottom so he has to interact with you to get it back or get you to do it again. Teachmetotalk.com used to have a list of games that were good for working on communication. I used to get stuff on eBay in case he wasn't interested.

2boysnamedR · 28/02/2015 13:06

Can you go to health visitor and ask to be reffered to a pead? We did. He was seen at 18 months. My thinking for referral was to let the pead what is or isn't normal.

Hv was reluctant but we got refered within weeks

Original poster
bazajo · 28/02/2015 21:50

agnesdepesto...does your child have asd?
hv says they will re assess at 16months... x

OP posts:
Firsttheyignoreyou · 01/03/2015 10:09

Baz - isn't the big red-flag pointing (shared attention)? TBH, if you are worried - insist. When DS2 was little, we had a wonderful consultant paediatrician who took everything in his stride and systematically worked through all the potential answers until working out what was going on. What sort of service did you get with DS1? Can you approach someone who was supportive about your older one and ask for their input?

AgnesDiPesto · 01/03/2015 18:29

Yes he does

Branleuse · 01/03/2015 18:34

if youre feeling he might be on the spectrum, then tell the HV. I have 2 boys with ASD and the 2nd was diagnosed a lot earlier because I just knew

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