how do i identify what support my son needs when applying for statement when there school don't know

[inflagrantedelicto]

Just that. Had the most depressing parents evening. CT had admitted the school has failed him, and that they've run out of ideas. He sits all day and doesn't do anything. Some days is disruptive, some just sits. I have the template letter but I'm a bit stuck on the naming identified sen- what do I put! School have given me very little in writing which doesn't help. Next step is also to complain to the governors, I have the details, just wanted to get last night out of the way. My poor boy ??

"I'm a bit stuck on the naming identified sen- what do I put! "

Sorry for all the questions but there's not much info in your post to answer your questions. How old is he? Have you had him assessed? Has he been seen by an Ed Psych, a SLT, an OT and have they given you anything in writing re diagnosis for him, that would cover 'identified SEN'.

If not, you need to get him referred, school SENCO should point you in the right direction, otherwise your GP. It can take a long time so you may want to have him assessed privately which is much quicker but it's expensive.

aww bless him. Don't give up! There will be a solution - it just may take a while to get there.

What does he do at home? What is he like around other kids?

Has this behaviour got worse over time?

In terms of info from the school, I think it works best if you try to keep them on side. Let me be clear: the school has behaved outrageously to launch this information on you for the first time at a parents' evening, without having any information about what outside agencies they have tried or could try.

But you need information from them, and people are always much more likely to help you if you are nice to them. If you go into complaint mode they will dig in and become defensive, which won't help dc.

So although I would find it hard to be civil face-to-face in these circs, I could bring myself to write a nicey, nicey email to ask the CT and SENCO for copies of his file as you will need those for any EP and copies of any work that dc has done.

Also ask what outside agencies they have contacted eg Specialist teachers EP, SALT, OT etc, and which they would consider contacting - saying things like 'I want to work together' and other such stuff.

It is not what they deserve, but it is more likely to get dc what he needs.

If it is any comfort I will be fuming and storming around on your behalf, but really wishing the best outcome for dc.
Good Luck

Sorry, I left out the other half of the info- assuming it would be known

Ds was dx AS and ADHD a year ago. We also suspect PTSD, from witnessing dv until just after his 5 th birthday. In y4 & 5 they're was an obvious pattern with his behaviour which followed contact, which school acknowledged, but then did not mention to any other professional involved with ds. It was all a mess. There had been a obvious decline for ds since the court extended contact (partly on the back of school telling cafcass that there were no problems with ds) they became aware of the degree to which the issues had developed 10 days before half term. School had not mentioned any of it, despite a home school book in place, so am understandably cross. In the meeting with school 10 days before half term I signed a referral for the PRU, but nothing has yet come through, and obviously time is ticking. School kept changing their minds whether to statement, most recent decision was not to - I've been told because he's not academically behind enough which I now know is not true.
I've no faith left in the school, and am debating whether to request a statement myself. The head had bought herself a week buy saying she should hear something back from the pru by this time next week, but she's very much the "talk the talk" type. I just don't know what to do.

Definitely apply for EHCP yourself. ASD we would be looking at SALT, especially small group classes to help with learning social skills.

ADHD we would be looking at lower distraction learning like own work station etc.

The behaviour could be down to the increased frustration from un-met SEN - seen plenty of this over the years of helping folk with cases, and of course the dv could have triggered it - but the two things in combination is a lot for poor old dc. The dv is in the past, the continued failure to meet his SEN is what you can do something about, so well done you for getting going on it.

NAS have trained helpline volunteers - you leave a message and they get back to you 0808 800 4102 - they will help you file a request for an EHCP and progress through that. IPSEA does something similar but is not ASD specific.

PRUs are usually used for kids who have behaviour issues as in disruptive behaviour, and is an alternative to exclusion, but that said, they can have a much higher staff to pupil ratio and lots of praise for target achieved so might be a good backstop and also help you get some more info on what dc should be getting for his ASD/ADHD.

Any chance you can get indie EP and SALT? If you are on Legal Aid and start an appeal then you can get legal aid to pay.

If you are in Kent then the Bedgebury Foundation may contribute. or DLA is an option to apply for if you don't get it already.

So hope that helps to get you started.

Oh and do ask the school for all their info - you may find them less helpful if they find out you are going for an EHCP, so keep them on side as long as you can, and keep quiet about the EHCP for now, just in case it clouds their judgement.

Will ring NAS Monday, only finished work at 5. He is fairly articulate- would he need SALT input? Totally emotionally illiterate [;)]. School say PRU recommended by the EP. he can be quite disruptive, but that could be from not getting his needs met.

I do believe he experiences emotional abuse, along with his sisters, but as SS have informed me one of the dc must be physically injured for anything to begin happening, this all has to be placed to one side, and I have to focus on achieving some form of education for him.

I don't know where to start, other than emailing a request for his file from school. With the legal aid, does that have the usual means tested parameters? I'm still thinking of sending a complaint in to the governors, should I hold back for now?

Dla- I don't knew if he's qualify. To us he's just ds, there's just certain things we do without being an eyelid.

The SALT is for teaching the subtleties of language.

So my ASD relatives have huge vocabularies, but get bits of body language wrong, like where to stand in a group - they may be too close or too far away.

The intonations may be off the norm both in terms of intonation that they use, and reading intonation from others. Things that are questions are treated as statements. Volumes can be off eg my relative speaking much louder than everyone else in a restaurant, or answering a question from a table in a pub garden which clearly was not directed at us. And sticking to a favourite subject, rather than spotting the signs that it is time to move on.

ASD is essentially a language issue, but in the HF/Aspergers end it is more apparent in the 60-80% of mainstream language that is non-verbal. All the smiles, eye contact, gestures etc that mainstream folk pick up instinctively.

So a copy of the file and ep report will be useful.

And when you have as much out of them as you are likely to get in the short term then I would put it in terms of a helpful suggestion rather than a complaint.

As in - "I know parents' evenings are hectic and a lot of work, but I was a bit shocked to get such unexpected and sad news of dc in a room with other parents. Could I suggest that it might be a bit more comfortable for everyone in the future if news like this is given in a separate meeting, whenever that is possible? I would really appreciate it for the future, and I expect other parents with SEN children would appreciate this consideration if time can be made for it. I know that in the rush of preparation for parents' evening it might have been easy to overlook the likely impact, but I hope you won't be offended by this idea for a possible improvement"

That kind of thing - and copy the SEN governor

It is just a change of tone - but you may need to keep them on side for a while, so if you can avoid going in heavy, it may make the next stages easier.

Hope this helps