I have 3 DC, My middle DS 4 has ASD - very obvious ASD so was very clear cut easy diagnosis.
However my eldest DD 5 is having some subtle but very real issues and I am not sure what to do /who to get to look at them.
She has a very good reading age but struggles with writing, learns her spellings well and can speak them correctly but when writing them down gets them wrong, school say there is issues with her writing and processing information from one format to another, she is getting support with this.
The main thing that worries me is her lack of her own self if that makes sense, she does not know how to approach children and struggles to converse with them but will happily go along and play and will control the play with younger children. She tends to copy her peers so if they are finding something funny she will look around and laugh but could not tell you why she is laughing. She panics when put on the spot.
She does not really know what she likes, she loved winnie the pooh then Frozen came out and everyone at her school loved it, she refused to watch it as she heard it was scary but insists it's the best film ever, I brought her the light up Elsa for xmas but she does not like the fact it makes a noise so will tell me not to press it as the battery's might run out.( she freaked the year before when we got her a baby annabel) My DS (ASD) is Thomas obsessed and she now wants to watch Thomas all day or do what ever he is doing.
She has very little reaction to her sister hurting herself and does not naturally give comfort although she can swing to being over empathetic if the mood takes her usually over an animal rather than a person. One of her friends says to her that she will miss DD in the holidays and asks DD if she will miss her DD says no and just carry's on playing, this sort of thing is happening more and more at school, with other children getting upset over arguments and DD not reacting at all. (school are fine with this as it's one less emotional child to deal with, however the other girls mum tells me pretty much how my daughter has upset hers regularly).
My mum took her to the cinema on the train and sat in the wrong place and then again in the cinema, she no longer want to go on the train in case she sits in the wrong place.
She can be quite literal and anxious although she is not shy her social skills make her present this way, she also comes across as a perfectionist (she's not, she just does as she's told without question)- if that makes sense and like to follow rules.
I have no idea who would be the best to come and tell me that I am either being ridiculous and it's a personality thing, I would think ASD but she does not have the repetitive behaviour or restricted interests just the social copying and not quite getting stuff, School see the issues but as she copes well at school and she is not academically behind they are not fussed and I am not looking for support in school but just an idea of what it is if anything and what I can do to help the copying and bring on her social side. She is in a very small nurturing school only 50 pupils and only 13 in her class.
Would a ed psych or Salt be best to asses the above issues (privately) and let me know if it's something and nothing or if I need to pursue a diagnosis or is it best to just try and support her myself and wait and see- I think if it is ASD it will become much clearer in the next few yrs.