Can't take it any more.

[InDespair]

sorry this is long, dont want to drip feed.

name changed for this, am a regular

Dc. Teenager.

Autism/Aspergers/ADHD/OCD/Tourettes (would be quicker if I said what DC DIDNT have!

Severe mental disaorders on top of that from paternal side. (psychotic disorders).

Teen trying to cope with hormones as well, and not able to understand.

Was with social services for SIX years and they didnt do a bloody toss about helping me (Im a lone parent). eneded up last week telling them where to go. They made things worse.

CAMHS dont want to know, Ive even told them Ill go to the national papers/news about their lack of help, .

Ive requested a carer to come to house to help calm DC down and maybe administer some medication to calm DC down.

Theyve refuse dto help.

Whatever anyone suggests I can tell you right now Ive bene there, done that,.

DC is beating me up. frequently. Not assaulting, thats the work a badly bought up thug does, I wont call it assault, but Dc has been ''asked'' to leave numerous schools (mainstream with support AND specialist schools) because DC cant cope with noise/crowds/bright lights etc, so Im currently teaching from home, with a couple of tutors coming in (except tutors are now saying theyre thinking of leaving as DC gets sensory meltdowns with them frequently, and all I need is for DC to punch someone else and they class it as assault).

NO ONE is helping. Ive lost all my ''friends'' as thye dont want DC round their kids, and frequently judge me.

(Im a Christian and live by solid Christian values, so my DC is not influenced by anything bad.)

DC doesnt realsie in the moment but i very remorseful afterwards somwthimes nd other times shows no remorse.

Ive ended up in hospital with sparains and strains, yet the hospital tell SS and they STILL dont help (hospital says the local SS are the most useless bunch of effers ever).

Had to call police a couple of times because of a beating but DC loves the police and thats what Dc wants me to do, call them, but I said its a special doctor thats needed, Im nt calling police any more.

This morning during a meltdown in the car DC punched me so hard in the side of my face I nearly crashed. I have a massive bruise on my face, DC thinks is hilarious.

I remember a mnetter saying she puts her Dc in the back seat now cos her DC did that to her too. Will be doing that from now on.

Police say DCs got medical probs therefore wont be going to a young offenders place or anything like that, a behavioural place.

SS and medical services say DC should not go to a mental institution, (but can be a danger to people because of the violent rages (Im forseeing a straightjacket and a room with padded walls and its breaking my heart). as theyd say its behavioral, not medical. WTF?

I love my child so much but noo ne will help me. Im completely on my own, no other family, and if DC ends up putting me permanently in hospital (or worse) then what?

Ive had to put child locks on drawers and got rid of as many knives/scissors as poss, got plastic cutlery and plates as DCs broken all crockery and has stabbed me with forks.

Im not a bad parent, Im doing the best I can. Ive just sent DC to bed as the language is scaring me, its creepy and phycotic (I wont show fear though in front of DC).

Im also sitting herewith a back brace on as DC punched me in the back and sent me flying. DC is very strong. I may have to pop to a and e tomorrow as my spines clicking a lot.

I tried getting a punchbag once for DC to take out the stress there but it just made DC feel that is was okay to do that to people too.

cant get through to DC that this cannot keep happening (started with the physical violence about 5 months ago) especially as DC gets older.

I have to care for DC full time as many many many ''services'' have given up as DC seems uncurable from this.

As i said upthread whatevers suggested will have been done by me.

I suppose my question is: could I get a medication or something to calm DC down? I dont like the idea of a zombie for a child but Id rather that than the person this childs turning into.

And when the meltdowns are in public (like in the library this morning) instead of understanding and sympathy and offers of help all I get are tuts and scorn and judgment cos my childs a badly brought up brat to them (except for the wonderful security guard who said he had a child with asd and other probs and fully understood).

I have to actaully log off now anyway as DCs shouting about wetting the bed so ill see next time I can log on if theres anythng. Does anyone else have a child like this? whats your solution?
thanks.

Sorry folks, just realised Ive posted in wrong mn site (thats how flipping stressed I am! wi) Will ask HQ to move this to correct site.

Hi OP. No problem. We'll move this over for you now.

Bloody hell that sounds horrendous. I would definitely be seeking medication. My ds has asd and was at one time quite aggressive with me ( although it was nowhere near the scale you are describing). His aggressive behaviour definitely improved after starting on Risperidone. I think you need to get access to a psychiatrist, preferably one with experience of asd and other related disorders. My other thought was that you might need to consider an independent specialist educational placement for your dc. I assume your ds has a statement? If not you need to get one and start investigating whether there are any independent special schools that could meet his needs. I can't imagine the pressure of home schooling your ds with this level of violence. If medical and social care are being useless, you may need to address this from education angle as at least you have tribunal as independent arbitrator. Seems that when social care are unwilling to help it is v difficult to get them to change their approach.

So sorry, and I though my day was bad. No advice re drugs as my ones are little and not violent (yet). I wish I could help

Why can't SS help?!!? Whats wrong with this stupid system?

and ehcp plan - it was designed for cases like this.

If you don't have a pending court/tribunal then try local TV or radio.
You can keep your identity secret on TV but they ask hard questions of local services.

I am so sorry you and your dc are getting no support. It certainly is appalling. Is there a specialist psychiatrist run service locally as part of CAMHS? Where I live this was set up recently, (it's called specialist CAHMS) and seems to be specifically to look at the needs of young people with challenging behaviours caused by mental health conditions. It might be worth asking again even if in the past you have got nowhere. My ds has got big and strong, but still has the panic inspired reactions of a very young child especially when confused. He is now on a low dose of medication which helps reduce the primal panic and his happy humerous side is more apparent. I was somewhat anti medication when he was younger so it was a big step for us all.
There was some shift in my teen ds (who has Asd, MLD ADHD ) when he got to 13 or so, which I presume is hormones and growing up and being bigger than me, but it's almost like he needs a bigger male to put him right from time to time. Dh is often away for work and after a few days ds behaviour becomes more matcho and physical,(even with medication the difference is that he has better control of his lightning emotions) like a young lion sharpening his fighting skills. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you as a lone parent, and having to home educate, so no respite at all. I can only think that some drastic action is needed to get SS to sit up and help. You are being put at risk (nearly crashing the car, sprains and bruises) so surely your health and rights are being put at risk?. We started to get help when I became seriously ill, and I asked for a carers assessment. It took a few requests befor this actually happened.
I am sure you have tried everything already, so you probably have already had or been turned down for a carers assessment.

CAMHS and SS should be ashamed of themselves. Unfortunately, you are not the only family I know of in this situation and to be honest we were heading in that direction a year ago ourselves.

We did get some help by going direct to the director of children's services making it clear to her that she would be as culpable as anyone else if any major harm occurred to any member of our family. Our MP was also supportive so this is another avenue to try.

I think, however, frustrating it is you do need to go back to CAMHS because it sounds like the situation has changed in the last few months & he does need to be checked to see if there is now psychosis being added into the mix given the family history.

In addition if you are wanting to try medication then they will be the people allowed to prescribe (admittedly ds2 was younger at the time but our GP said he would be struck off if he prescribed this sort of medication to a child). It is worth trying medication but it is not a miracle cure and for ds2, unfortunately, made matters a lot worse (I think this is rare though). If they won't give you an emergency appointment and there is another crisis then we were advised to go to A&E and ask for the duty psychiatrist.

In the meantime . It was bad enough dealing with lesser problems with dh's support so it must be totally exhausting to have to tackle this on your own.

I meant to say that my ds most certainly hasn't been turned into a zombie by medication. He is only subtly different - happier less distressed funnier less likely to hit out or run off in total panic- in short well a little bit nicer. He is still the messiest child on earth, noisy, clumsy, unable to understand others - but he is subtly happier and that the most important bit. Things did not change immediately - its been a slow imperceptible series of small changes. I still get occasional bruises but usually more because he forgets how strong he is than because he waving his arms around in panic.
Ds medication is prescribed by the consultant child psychiatrist, ( I don't think a GP could prescribe it) and is likely to be temporary over the difficult adolescent years.
I hope you get some help at last.