We have an appoiment this morning and I think they are going to discharge dd without assessing her.

[ditavonteesed]

We have come full circle, I dont know what to expect this morning. Myself and school have done social questionnaires and both agreed that dd should be assesed however becasue her behavioural issues are confined to home (and out and about) rather than school and she is compliant at school nobody seems to think she is a problem.

I just want them to understand the impact her problems have on our family, dd2 is terrified of her sister, we no longer see most of our friends and quite a few of our family becasue of how judgemental people are about the way we have to treat dd and the way she reacts to stuff.
I often feel like I cant cope and we walk on eggshells the whole time.

I dont know what I actually want them to do but just to assess her so we know what we are dealing with, she can get the help she needs to deal with things as she heads into secondary school and maybe people will understand a her little bit more. (possibly including me and herself).
I am taking my mum with me, but I know when I am in the appointment with the dr that I will play it down which I cant, it just seems to be instinctive like I dont want to say anything bad about dd and I am scared someone will take her away if I say I cant cope.

What do I do? How do I make them assess her? Or at least not discharge her.

Who are you seeing?

We found the hardest thing was getting the appointment but after that we were taken seriously. Be prepared for a gruelling interview (our initial one was 2 hours! but it was a joint one for ds1 and ds2) asking huge amounts of questions.

We also took a typed list of the problems we were having with lots of specific examples to get over the fear we would not explain the issues properly.

Its the neuro disability consultant, we have been seeing her for a while, dd was diagnosed with dyspraxia and they were concerned about a tremor. She has had an mRI scan and all sorts of tests relating to the tremor but I actually want them to help with her behaviour, the tremor doesnt affect her life at all.

She has severe anxiety around control which often results in violent tantrums which can go on for hours at a time.

Over the years we have thought she probably has aspergers, school agree.

I get so fed up f everyone constantly judging my parenting and life is very much walking on eggshells so as not to set dd ooff, we have to put so much though into anything that we need to ask her to do, or more so not to do.

We are going out for lunch afterwards. Polter I have a video on my phone, but the problem is i started it quite far into a meltdown about getting into a car (1.5hours on a busy road) and I am not actually parenting at my best so i figure that will just be dismissed as I am shouting and so causing the behaviour.
Will look at the criteria, I made a few notes over the last few weeks which is when I started to realise quite how much of an impact dd's problems ahve on us as a family.

Dd2 told the childminder recenty how upset and frightened she was of dd1 which is heartbreaking.

DD dos not feel different to others, she still cant hold a conversation ie she does not stop to listen to what anyone else has to say and will get out what she is saying no metter what, she literally never stops talking every though in her head must come out.

I forgot to say good luck. She sounds similar to ds1 and ds2 in that the anxiety causes violent tantrums. I don't think you will have problems if school are onside. Is your dd going with you to the appointment - the one thing I would have done in retrospect is take the ds's out of the room whilst we explained the behavioural problems as they really didn't need to hear us describing them but obviously the psychiatrist did.

My ds's got increasingly anxious about attending the appointments (at one point we had the entire CAMHS staff searching for ds1 in the car park after he ran off - probably would not have looked good for them if he had fallen into the neighbouring canal) so ultimately they could not do a lot for them but at least they gave us support to get help at school.

DD1 loves the appointments as she gets a lot of attention, at first she would not make eye contact and was very awkward around the consultant but now she doesnt do that as I think she is comfortable with hr.

My mum is coming with me so will ask my mum to take her out of the room while I talk to the consutant, dd certainly doesn't need to hear that her grandparents wont put up wth her.

The social questionaiires were ages o I think inn about sep/oct so I am guessing based ont hose they have decided not to assess her. The last appointment we had was very weird, another consultant who basically told us they could give dd medication for her tremors (a sedative type thing), I said no and then he proceded to spend over an hour telling me why it wouldnt be a good idesa and how we should get to the bottmomof her anxiety problems. which is what I have been trying to do for years.

Probably too late but if the paed wants to help you could ask him to do a DISCO assessment!! It was designed to pick up the hard to diagnose people.

Good luck

thanks. not too late, appointment not till 10.40. I have just found the only video of dd having a tantrum I dont know if I should show them or not. I am not shouting on it as I thought I was.

Disco, will ask about that then :) just off too google now.

well my worrires were unfounded, dr is referring her for assesment. She agreed about girls presenting differently and how it is possible to have the disparity in behaviour between school and home.

I now haver a really bad headache, think I got myself so wound up about it, dd is not even vaguely interested either way.

dita

Glad the doc you saw seems to have her head screwed on right.

Yay!! Good news, take a breather now and remember to keep a diary for the next appointment!

Good luck [