Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

need to cry

11 replies

frankiebuns · 19/02/2015 14:42

My ds is 4.5 and is on the spectrum they say it's high functioning his quirks and routines are grinding me down. We have done nothing this . Half term due to him freaking out and going off on one each time we try. His poor sister is fed up with him if she has a toy he automatically takes it off her and plays with it hes obssesd with squeaky toys and will constantly squeak them 24/7. He's a lovely boy but hates the holidays with a passion if he could be at school every day he would be. He hates birthdays Xmas Easter you name it. He has also developed a accent we are country people and he has a very noticeable london accent we know no one with a London accent. He also has to count everything 1_10. I feel stuck and dreading the holidays all his friends mums say they love it but we don't we are either stuck indoors because it's too sunny too cold too rainy etc (his words not mine) or we have to go one place in town soft play. Me and hubby take it in shifts to do the jobs we need to do is shopping bank etc as he won't come. He is very strong and can easily have me over which usually is part of his display /freak out. I try and be stern if needed he doesn't listen. I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall and we are stuck like this forever! Help

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 19/02/2015 15:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Handywoman · 19/02/2015 15:46

Have you tried to make a visual schedule or a plan for each day, to give him something to 'cling on to' with all this unstructured time? Could you base it loosely in the school day? Sorry you are going through this, it sounds very tough Thanks

Handywoman · 19/02/2015 15:47

*on

Banananutella · 19/02/2015 17:17

We have this, it's tough, sympathies. I second what you say about the strength of a small child making it hard. Just posting to give you some support really sorry no helpful suggestions.

TotheBarricades · 19/02/2015 19:56

Ipads? Life is so much better with an ipad. DS2 really struggles outside but give him an ipad and it is like an invisible, magical shield and he can cope - with other kids, with new places, with life that would otherwise make him miserable. It is also an awesome weapon for all negotiations.

DS has an American accent so I get the "you must have let him watch too much tv" opinion from lots of people. I have no idea where it comes from but apparently it isn't that unusual in certain profiles.

We take it in turns to choose what we do as a family because I can't leave one behind; other friends do the divide and conquer approach to outings. Basically, it is hard but you have to do what works for you. I live in a bubble by and large and I cope that way. I don't look too closely at other people's lives because that might make mine harder.

One thing is for sure, it is getting easier (DS2 is 11) - just more slowly than I expect it would have done if we were more NT.

senvet · 19/02/2015 21:56

Does dc tolerate headphones? Maybe a squeaky thing eg keyboard that plays through the headphones would spare the rest of you. Squeaky plastic things don't squeak if you make an extra air hole in the plastic, although I feel a bit mean...

How old is dd?

MeirEiaNoAlibie · 19/02/2015 21:59

Cake and Brew really help, but I'm guessing you know this already.

Would support the iPad idea. It's often the only way I can manage the school run with our very strong 4y old who is undiagnosed but obvious having an extremely inflexible, demand-avoidant control-freak phase.

frankiebuns · 20/02/2015 16:21

Thank you for all your advice he has a tablet but all he wants is youtube I used to love that uptown funk song huh not now! I beg him sometimes and when we are out he is ok. Today he got violent for the first time I ended up with a nosebleed and a fat lip! I got angry and he didn't seem to care. My mum has taken him out this afternoon. So I can concentrate on his sister

OP posts:
2boysnamedR · 20/02/2015 21:07

It's ok to cry, if I don't have a good cry I cant move forward.

Hugs - wish I could offer more

TotheBarricades · 20/02/2015 23:09

Tablet without headphones - oh no, that is torture! DS2 had a thing about annoying orange for quite some time. No headphones, no volume is our rule - for my sanity, for my driving, for any sort of life.

Sorry to hear he had such a meltdown today and I hope your afternoon gave you a breather. It is little comfort but mid-meltdown, they don't see you. So, he won't have got your emotions except to feed his own.

It sounds very much like he cannot bear change, so any surprises like Christmas etc are unbearable rather than the happy occasions we would like them to be. I have some friends who used to let their child see/plan all presents and then, wrap them up - I still think they are amazing for being able to think out of the box.

Keep going. Half-term is over! Pity those poor souls, whose kids are in meltdown because school is looming. He is coping there which is a major plus.

frankiebuns · 22/02/2015 12:04

Yep he loves the routine. Mums taken him out for the weekend and tbh im missing him today. Last christmas he set booby traps for father christmas as he was adamwnt he wasnt coming in! He loves the build up ie xmas tree lights going on the annual light display hunt tinsel etc but when it comes to xmas eve and day hes freaking out and it gets ruined! Birthdays are like this too! I love him with all my heart and he wouldnt be my mason (name changed) if he wasnt autistic some days i wish i could jst have mason and not the autism but then he wouldnt be him the most intelligent funny musical highly annoyying boy i love!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page