Ds (9) on a half day exclusion - I don't know what to do :(

[JingleBellsJuliet]

Ds is in the process of being as wedded for ASD/ADHD/DCD etc. We're about 18 months into the process and have seen a paed twice, an OT and a physio (he toe walks and is very clumsy). I'm awaiting an appointment for an autism assessment with Child Psychology.

His attitude and behaviour have gone from bad to worse. I've been called into school 9 times in total since September for "serious" incidents, plus there have been almost daily, more minor, incidents where he's just refusing to listen and just being disruptive. He gets very frustrated and lashes out very, very easily - I have been on the receiving end of this many times myself, so I know what he's capable of.

He currently has no statement, as academically he doing very well. His reading, writing, spelling, maths etc is fab, but his interaction with his peers and his ability to concentrate and do as he's told are appalling. He has a TA sit with him in the mornings, and this seems to help, but afternoons he's on his own and there's usually problems. There's always issues at lunch too, and there's been talk of me having to collect him for lunch every day.

I'm pulling my hair out here. I'm supposed to be at work, but I can't even go in and take him with me, like I do in the holidays, as a condition of the exclusion is that he must be at home with me apparently, and I will be liable to a fine if I take him in. I've had to take the day unpaid, but there's only so much of this my employer will take before I lose my job, as every single bloody time I've had a phonecall from school, I've been at work and have had to leave. I've been looking around for a new job, but, realistically, I'm not going to be a reliable employee when I'm having to rush off at least once every week because my child has hurt someone at school.

He hates school, has made no friends (hardly surprising when he wallops them all on a regular basis to be fair!) and says he wants to be schooled at home. If this was an option, I would, but I'm a single parent (dad is very much a weekend dad and offers no financial support at all) and I need to work, otherwise we're stuffed money wise. I just don't know what to do! I'm waiting for a call back from Children's Services to see if the appointments can be hurried up a bit, although having a diagnosis isn't magically going to make things better, I know, but at least we'd have something to go on and school might be a bit more able to deal with his needs.

*assessed not as wedded! Damn you autocorrect!

What a ridiculous situation!

Are the school providing the reasons in writing why they have excluded him? Otherwise it is illegal.

The school should be meeting his needs all of the time, not just in the morning, if they need more funding from the Local Authority to do that, then they should sort that out!

They should not be waiting to see if he gets a diagnosis before they put support in place, especially as it is clear that the extra support in the mornings is working!

I think you should ask them to apply for an EHC needs assessment and if they say no, apply for one yourself. If nothing else it will help to focus the school!

Look on the IPSEA website for a template letter and explanation of what you need to do.

Stay strong and keep coming on here for advice!

Yes I've been told to expect a letter in the post. I just feel so sad for him as he seems to be so misunderstood all the time. I'm just looking at some info on the EHC needs assessment now, thank you.

He currently has no statement, as academically he doing very well.
You will be delighted to know that whoever told you this is wrong.

The requirements for statement or its new successor EHCP, is that dc needs provision different form that normally given to his mainstream classmates.
I paraphrase but that is the gist of it.

It is also the law that dcs special (ie different from the bulk of class) needs MUST be met, and they very obviously aren't.

The social skills are teachable skills and your dc's school should (if their LA had told them what SEN actually is) have got in a SALT long ago to assess and meet those needs with social skills training.

If his attention span is poor they should be looking at eg a quiet work station to help him concentrate and a programme of education to steadily improve his attention - the OT could be really useful at getting attention issues improved.

I am appalled that your dc is being reprimanded for overloads and behaviour which are not his fault but the fault of the school/LA/system in failing to meet his needs and their legal obligations.

So in your shoes I would devote your half day to going on the IPSEA website and applying for an EHCP.

Your child is entitled to full time education to meet his needs. If he has the same needs in the afternoon as in the morning then he needs the TA in the afternoon as well as the morning. No brainer.

And as for giving up work - I strongly suggest that you don't. The LA has responsibility for meeting his needs, if necessary by giving him full time tutoring at home. Let them know that next time they are on their own, and they will soon start helping you with that EHCP and asking the LA for extra help.
Good Luck

Are these exclusions official or unofficial? You need the correct documentation with each and every one. This is important evidence and part of a paper trail demonstrating that the school is not meeting his needs.

He currently has no statement, as academically he doing very well. His reading, writing, spelling, maths etc is fab, but his interaction with his peers and his ability to concentrate and do as he's told are appalling.

The line that only academic progress is the basis for a statement/EHCP is nonsense. I have a child doing level 6 maths in year 6 who has a statement because of his sensory issues, poor social skills, concentration and impulsive behaviour.

This is what the current SEN code of practice has to say (emphasis mine):

6.17 Class and subject teachers, supported by the senior leadership team, should make regular assessments of progress for all pupils. These should seek to identify pupils making less than expected progress given their age and individual circumstances. This can be characterised by progress which:
• is significantly slower than that of their peers starting from the same baseline
• fails to match or better the child’s previous rate of progress
• fails to close the attainment gap between the child and their peers
• widens the attainment gap

6.18 It can include progress in areas other than attainment – for instance where a pupil needs to make additional progress with wider development or social needs in order to make a successful transition to adult life.

6.19 The first response to such progress should be high quality teaching targeted at their areas of weakness. Where progress continues to be less than expected the class or subject teacher, working with the SENCO, should assess whether the child has SEN. While informally gathering evidence (including the views of the pupil and their parents) schools should not delay in putting in place extra teaching or other rigorous interventions designed to secure better progress, where required. The pupil’s response to such support can help identify their particular needs.

In short, even in the absence of a statement/EHCP the school need to pull their fingers out and identify what support your DS needs and actually provide it. Excluding him every time he does something wrong isn't supporting him. They need to support him in not getting to that point in the first place, which involves both teaching him the necessary skills (eg recognising when he is feeling rattled and doing something to prevent it escalating) and removing the obstacles which prevent him from succeeding with those skills (eg the sensory assault of having to queue at the classroom door at the end of a session, or the frustration arising from having not fully understood an instruction)

It's an official exclusion; the HT was very clear that this would be going on his school record.

With regards to a TA, they have no funding for a TA in the afternoon apparently. I have just spoken to a lady at Children's Services and she said there's a certain budget they have each year for help and if they're at their limit, then there's not much that can be done! She's given me the number for Parent Partnership to speak to about things.

In which case, they need to stop holding their hands in the air (probably secretly hoping that they can permanently exclude your DS, rather than make any more effort) and support you in applying for an EHCP needs assessment. If LA is spinning them the line that progress is measured in academic terms, then you now know which bit of the SENCOP to use to disabuse them of that notion.

1:1 isn't the only help they can give him, btw. There are many, many things they can do which cost very little, mostly to do with adapting his learning environment so it is less stressful for him and making small adjustments to his routine and how it is presented to him.

there's a certain budget they have each year for help and if they're at their limit, then there's not much that can be done!
Lies
But VERY useful evidence.

I suggest writing an email to the person/department who told you that being ever-so-nice and just confirming the conversation.
Dear X, thanks for your help on the phone today, giving me details of Parent Partnership and explaining that if the school budget has run out there is not much that can be done.'

And if you keep doing this email record of everything it will help you as you battle for the support your dc is entitiled to

Right, I have a meeting with the HT at 8.30 in the morning so I'm going to make sure I go in well prepared! I've also managed to get the autism assessment appointment pulled forward to next Friday, so at least that's a step in the right direction.

What questions do I need to be asking tomorrow? I'm going to ask about the EHCP, and will make it clear I am applying for this myself. What else do I need to ask?

Not so much a question but I'd ask them why they are failing to meet his needs.

Just wanted to send some sympathy,having been through this experience recently.I wish that I hadn't been so sodding accomodating with school,they would call and I would jump. In fact,I needed to work for my sanity and because I needed the money.

I don't know what would have happened if I had just said no to the informal exclusions (I'm certain that ds will help me to find out). They would have been forced to find another way to deal with the situation.I'm tempted next time to be very,very slow in collecting him. Near the end of the school day perhaps?

YOU deserve to work and earn money and to stay sane and well.I found it impossible to relax because I was expecting school to call constantly.I don't have any advice but I can see that you have been given excellent advice upthread,I just wanted to wish you well and remind you that you need to look after yourself too.

Unfortunately, I have been in this position too to the extent that I did give up my job because it got to the point where I wasn't doing any work because I was waiting for the phone to ring. The two things I did on giving up work was (I) Apply for a statement (now EHCP) and (ii) Apply for DLA (which eased the money worries a little). We were lucky in that we got a statement for both ds's on first request even though like your son they are academically able.

Ultimately, both have needed a placement at a specialist school to cope. There are things that in retrospect could have helped in mainstream e.g. giving them a safe place AND THEN ROLE PLAYING SO THEY ACTUALLY COULD USE IT, a workstation at the back of the class, 1:1 support in group work, supervised lunchtimes clubs; going into school late or early to avoid crowds, advance warning of timetable changes, given alternatives for lessons they found particularly stressful e.g. RE and music, coming home at lunchtime worked for us for a while, teacher training in descalation techniques, teacher understanding that they are behaving badly out of anxiety rather than naughtiness, teacher understanding that they will take things literally. I am sure there are lots of things you do at home that help and the more you can exchange information strategies that work with school the better.

If he was better last year it might be that it is the teacher's approach that is causing the fireworks (as was the case with ds1). Admittedly, he was somewhat challenging but she really did not help matters.

The council will have an exceptional funding pot for just such contingencies as a child who needs FT 1:1 while EHCP assessment is pending. Ask the school how much they are spending on your ds already and if it's over £6000 why have not already applied either for top up or exceptional funding or an EHCP. EHCP get given for 2 main reasons lack of progress and behaviour. So you are on firm grounds with the second and probably is not making appropriate progress for his ability level if only doing half a day work.
Google your council + school forum minutes, high needs funding etc you will find info on what schools can do to get extra Sen high needs money.
Start keeping a diary yourself of all incidents etc in case records go 'missing'. Make a data access request for your sons school file, any behaviour incidents, restraint used etc etc.
And yes don't rush to collect. I work 20 miles away from my ds and they woukd just have to wait.

I know this may be a bit late, but the meeting could be a really good chance to get evidence
So I strongly suggest that you be very nice and sympathetic to budget cuts etc as you always get more info from someone when you are being nice. I will be stamping and screaming for you, but you need info from these people so my idea is to be nicey nicey nicey, and scream when you get home.

Here's some more ideas

1. ask how much their SEN budget is, and how much of it is spent already
2. Ask if the 1 to 1 is available for the afternoons or if they would have to recruit
3. How long would it take to recruit if they had the funding
4. How are they getting on with implementing the OT recommendations
5. What are they doing to identify the triggers for dc's behaviour outbursts
6. have they approached the LA for extra funding
7. what have they done about the physio recommendations
8. is there a social skills group he can join to help with peer interactions
9. is there a calm down room where he can go if he is having a melt down? and crucially
10. What will they be doing from here on given that you cannot risk your job to pick up dc, will it be an internal exclusion or will they use social services?

I am sure you know to take copious notes and end up with an action list if you can.

Lots and lots of luck

Thank you, that's really helpful :)

Have you previously had letters about exclusions? If not they were unlawful. The letters should give you notice of your right to ask the governors to review, and I would strongly suggest that you exercise that right. Point out to the governors that it is clear that your child has a serious learning difficulty and is disabled, that the school has failed him by delaying in applying for a statement/EHC Plan, and it has also failed to provide adequate support at School Action + and its successor. The fact that they have failed is demonstrated by the exclusions - his behaviour would never reach this pitch if he was getting the right support. Tell them that excluding him instead of ensuring he gets adequate support is disability discrimination.

I wouldn't, to be honest, place much hope on the governors agreeing with you, but I think it would make everyone wake up to a fairly major extent; and if they start worrying that they will have to justify themselves to the governors every time they exclude, they will probably hesitate a bit more about taking the easy way out.

There are also other avenues they can take to get funding to cover 1:1 for a time. Ds1's MS got separate funding to help provide him with a FT 1:1 for almost the entire school year while we waited for his statement to go through.

Hope the meeting went OK

Meeting was ok - they're getting someone in to look at doing a statement, so that's something. He keeps saying he doesn't want to be at school, which is heartbreaking as there's nothing I can do about that.

HI JingleBellsJuliet,

re your comment:-
"they're getting someone in to look at doing a statement, so that's something"

Honestly Jingle you would be better off applying for the EHCP yourself rather than wait on someone to do this for you. At least you know its been done then and some schools can and do sit on such applications for simply ages. Did they actually give you a timescale when they stated this?.

PP can be wedded to the LEA and tow the party line; you may well ultimately not find them at all helpful.

www.ipsea.org.uk is a helpful website re the whole gamut of education and SENs along with exclusions.

(On a much wider note his father should be anyway paying for his child. I would involve the authorities to ensure that he keeps his financial obligation).

All great advice. I have a nearly 9 year old who sounds very like hours. Academic progress is average to above average, but behaviour quite the reverse with all the issues you describe. He still doesn't have a formal diagnosis but we had no difficulty in applying for and getting an EHCP for him. He is doing much better as a result.

Be on schools back about timescales for the EHCP application. 'Someone looking into it' sounds a bit vague to me. I would suspect the application will be more favourably received if it's seen to be at the schools instigation, but don't let that small tactical advantage lure you into letting them faff around for months!

Good luck.

Oh and re governors, there should be a nominated governor for sen. You could try directing a letter / email to them?