can children "grow out" of asd?

[ladycalledstan]

Hi hope I'm posting in the right place.
My 4 yr old ds has a number of asd trait;

not interacting/ talking much to other children at nursery and not having formed friendships;
liking routines;
occasional meltdowns if things don't quite go as he likes e.g. if he doesn't get a turn on something;
wanting things to be repeated if things don't go as he likes - e.g. ask the train to go back to station if he doesn't get a seat; getting upset if he misses the start of a tv programme - wanting it to restart.

Pre school want him assessed as possibly having aspergers. I am fine with this but also think he might grow out of his issues. If he is diagnosed as having asd and these issues clear up will he just stop having asd or is it something that is generally assumed for life? Would it be incorrect diagnosis if his issues cleared up in a few years.

Maybe I have my head in the sand but I guess I am just hoping that things will sort themselves out naturally.

thanks for any advice

www.nhs.uk/news/2013/01January/Pages/Can-children-grow-out-of-autism.aspx

I get a research roundup alert from the child neurology journal.

I suppose individuals are different, and learning to live in the world of NT and to understand the rules and therefore 'pass' as NT would be less stressful for some and more so for others.

I think it should be aimed for because the world isn't going to change for the child so the child needs to adapt to the world as best they can if they are able to. I think this is what ABA tries to do? NT children have to learn to adapt to so it's not a difficult concept.

Really all ASD children should be accepted for who they are and to adapt in ways that keep them as happy as possible.

Oops, posted too soon.
Meant to say that it's all there in spades. As pp have said,it never goes away, but our kids cope better (at times) with some elements of it.

Today is a dreadful day for dd and my head is splitting with her constant questions. This is because she spent yesterday socialising and it has drained her and used up her reserves.

If a child has autism early intervention can maximise the potential for the best future outcome. Waiting for them to grow out of it (you don't grow out of structural brain differences) won't.

I'm glad you didn't think I was mistreating my two, zzzzz. You are a poster whose opinions I have always thought made sense and I enjoy your posts.

'This is because she spent yesterday socialising and it has drained her and used up her reserves.'

Exactly. DD calls it 'running out of spoons' You start the day with a certain number of spoonfuls of being able to do stuff. Some things take one spoonful to accomplish, others may take a dozen spoons. When you run out of spoons, that's it for the day and you need to recharge.
If mine have a day that demands a lot of them as an individual, they need recharging time. Sometimes it's a day, some times it's a couple of hours.
A day of intense social interaction is like a marathon for someone else.
A day at an interesting museum or gallery wipes out DS for the next day and has no impact on DD.
A sleepover is a major deal for DD and doesn't affect DS in the slightest.
Each has their own challenges and need different numbers of spoons to deal with them.

'Post more if you have older children we need those voices and experience.'

I used to post a lot more, but because mine have high-functioning AS, my wafflings seemed to be much less useful than other people's experiences and I appeared to annoy some others. So I stopped posting but not reading.

Zzzz there is no comparison. I didn't say they should or that autistic children should try to pass for NT. Or that all children are less stressed if they try, just that some children are and some not.

The OP asked a question and I tried to answer it.

Well, DS is 20 and DD is 23, and as we roll along we keep finding new bumps in the road. But somehow most of our wheels are still attached.

It's one of the things that shocked DD when we watched 'It was alright in the 1970s' how much attitudes to women, ethnic minorities and the LGBT communities have changed.
Perhaps disabilities will be the next 'OMG, I can't believe that was considered acceptable' in years to come. If we all keep pointing out the illogic.

Oh zzzzz, my shock absorbers are to die for!

Zzz Sorry that you feel obliged to twist what I say, but your view isn't the only valid one. Many autistic children can function in society as it is and some can't. Do you suggest that we don't offer early intervention or ABA to anyone and force society to change?

We need to educate people to accept autism in all it's levels and forms and to support children and adults to live the best life they can. This may be in sheltered accommodation with support or otherwise. I don't see how you can say with blanket authority the research study was meaningless.

Personally I think it's stooping very low to compare what I've said to the ostracism homosexuals encountered and the difficulties they still face.

DD and DS would both opt for number 3 zzzzz, a collection of happy eccentrics all tolerating each other's individual qurks whilst co-habiting.
Plus DD knows a huge amount about bats and DS loves dragons.
I'd go for number 1, looks capable of homing adult children who need to return to the home cave, has curtains to shut out the world and could tow another vehicle or two if necessary.

reading with interest recent posts on the wanting to appear normal/fit in/ be normal and also the deeper underlying issues that REALLY need to be addressed, but never are.

I know that all ds1 wants is to be accepted and liked by his peers.
he wants to be as normal as possible.
addressing the underlying issues is only done by the likes of caring mn mums - the rest if society can't be bothered wont fund .

the world doesn't change. it if it does it's so slow.
society is becoming even less accommodating. teachers with no/minimal sn training telling me my son is "fine".
most schools don't even want sen children there. their lives are hard enough without the burden of 'difficult children'.
all the mn'ers who have fought statements,nil, tribunals.
is anything changing? perceptions? heads if lea's being taken to task. nope. thought not.

thus the only way I can see to help my son is to at least try to help him and teach him to fit in.