DS struggling and I am clueless

[gotthearse]

DS is 5. Lives in his in head a lot, can't articulate his feelings. Lots of people tell me how quiet he is. He can play for hours alone if left to his own devices. Think a lot goes in in his head but it rarely comes out. He is in yr 1 and doesn't like school and is not learning much. On an IEP. school tells me he rarely learns, participates or pays attention unless they are 1.1 with him.he has generally behaved well but since Xmas have been a few incidents of hitting and he bit once. He has never been a great at getting to sleep but it's becoming very challenging. 3 nights out of 7 he will not go to bed. Punishments, threats, rewards, being cross, being nice - none of it works. We have tried battling it out (hours) or giving him space, neither is effective. Feels like he's worked out we won't batter him, and he isn't bothered about anything else we try to do. Can easily keep it up till after midnight and very restless. Point blank refuses to wear a coat or eat anything not beige. Apart from these things he is otherwise ok and is very affectionate. He didn't have any friends last year, he now has one. DH who does most of the childcare is getting in a right state and called me at work crying this week a he felt so bad about losing his temper. I don't know what it all means or where to start. I went to the Gp who said parenting classes. But I don't think we are shit parents. He comes from a loving home that has some rules but is fairly easy going. We have a dd who is 8 and is a gem/breeze so we must be doing something ok. She finds schoolwork hard (also has iep) but is super positive, very social and happy. Where do I start?

Please, please re=post on 'chat about your child' as there are loads of people there who will recognose all of this

Go to the child tab and then it is the first on the list there

I help a lot of ASD kids and this looks very familiar, but because I do so little else I am at risk of seeing ASD when in fact there is something else going on.

I think the clan on the other board will be able to guide you into getting to a paediatrician and seeing what is diagnosed,

in the meantime if dc learns only with 1 to 1 then a request for an EHCplan could be a good thing, as the school is unlikely to be able to afford providing that full time. The law says that your dc is entitled to full time education that meets his needs. If he learns only with a 1 to 1 then that is what he is entitled to.

Do re-post though

Thank you so much, will do. Before I re post, what is a EHC plan? Ta

OK have a look at the IPSEA website WWW.ipsea.org.uk

It is the new replacement for a statement of SEN. It stands for Education Health and Care Plan

The idea is to being professionals together and sort out cross budget funding etc. It is a great idea but as there is no extra funding it is unlikely to result in much of a change from the old law.

The main concern is that things that are really educational needs, like being taught social skills if you cannot pick them up instinctively, will get shoved into health.

And as the other page will tell you - the education part of the EHCP can be appealed AND the law says your child's educational needs MUST be met.
There is no law that says your child's health needs must be met, so the aim is to minimise those sections to the truly medical, eg the nasal tube feeding, epilepsy, etc
I'll look out for your post