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Original poster

Potty/Toilet training an ASD child?

24 replies

OldAntiquity · 10/02/2015 13:35

Does anyone have any tips or suggestions?

Ds is 3 & 3 months. He detests nappy changes and always has and now he's communicating I thought I might give it a go..... maybe!

Even though I've read you should go straight to using the toilet I thought it might be too much trying to get him upstairs, he's a tad resistant to being asked to do things. He's also more likely to feel upset by sitting on the loo.

He's knows when he's going to go etc. All readiness is there I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
OldAntiquity · 10/02/2015 14:31

That is very useful!

OP posts:
BrilliantineMortality · 10/02/2015 14:31

I can't help I'm afraid, but I was coming on to ask for people's experiences of toilet training girls with Aspergers Syndrome.

DD has just turned four and we've had no success with toilet/potty training. She never tells us when she needs to wee or poo and is not bothered in the least about her pull-ups or knickers being wet or soiled.

Her nursery have observed some behaviours consistent with ASD and together with what DH and I have seen at home, I am starting to wonder whether she has mild/high-functioning Aspergers Syndrome.

Sorry to hijack your thread, OldAntiquity, but other people's experiences would be great to hear.

MooMummyMoo · 10/02/2015 14:39

Same situation as you brilliatine, albeit my DD is 3, but otherwise I could have written your post!

Watching this thread with interest

Original poster
OldAntiquity · 10/02/2015 14:43

Ds is also unconcerned about the state of his nappy. I think part of it may be avoidance of the alternative, the hated nappy change. Though apart from his hands & feet he appears to be a little under sensitive too.

Ds1 (who may or may not also be on the spectrum) is nearly 11 & still cannot recognise needing to go to the loo until the absolute last minute.

So I guess it's a case of working out exactly what's going on, observation - I just learnt that from the cerebra guide J linked to!

OP posts:
Original poster
OldAntiquity · 10/02/2015 14:47

Unfortunately for us rewards don't work with ds2, he would rather not have a thing than do something for it & if there's any afterwards form of positive acknowledgement of what he's done he gets upset.

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BrilliantineMortality · 10/02/2015 14:51

Same here about rewards not working - DD would also rather avoid the situation.

senvet · 10/02/2015 15:29

OK - I was hearing that an ASD school does the following
1)keep a careful note eg in diary of when there is any action - they do this by removing pads
2) sit on the toilet every 20 minutes or half hour depending on age of child etc AND try to time this with times when dc is likely to go based on observations in diary - visual timetable for cjild if relevant
3) reward success - ignore accidents
4) look to extend the times towards 1 hour etc

  1. use makaton signs/words/objects of reference/PECs and words - ie throw the full communication package at the issue.

They also work on getting the sensory system in balance, so exercise and meals at regular times, removal of distraction, pressure etc, whatever each child needs to optimise learning.

Most of their pupils are non-verbal and have 1 to 1 carers, so this is probably counsel of perfection for a home environment, but hope it helps someone

Good Luck

MooMummyMoo · 10/02/2015 16:12

That's really helpful senvet, thank you!

fairgame · 10/02/2015 18:14

www.continencevictoria.org.au/resources/children

This website has some fab visuals for toilet training kids with ASD. I used it a lot when i was a school nurse.

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 10/02/2015 18:17

mine were 5 and 6 by the time they came out of nappies. My eldest soiled for several years after that.

I have to say that nothing worked for us at all and in the end we just decided to go with it and wait instead of trying to direct and control it. We found none of the standard potty training advice was of any help in our situation.

We kept the potty, kept letting them know what to do and eventually it came together for them.

Original poster
OldAntiquity · 10/02/2015 20:29

fairgame Thanks! Really helpful!

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PolterGoose · 10/02/2015 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MooMummyMoo · 10/02/2015 21:20

Polter, this is really interesting. Thank you for sharing.

Can I ask - why did you choose then to start? Did DS show signs of being ready or did you just decide to plough ahead?? All the potty training stuff - certainly for NT kids - is all about wait until they are telling you they need to go etc etc. Did you know he was ready or start anyway because you were fed up of waiting??!

I am not sure my DD3 will ever show 'typical' signs of readiness so not sure when to decide to go for it!

(Hope that makes sense...)

PolterGoose · 10/02/2015 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MooMummyMoo · 10/02/2015 21:40

Thanks Polter, that's really helpful

LittleFluffyMoo · 10/02/2015 22:08

Lots of patience! DS1 was just about ready when he started school, with a lot of intensive help.

DS2 wasn't really ready until Y1 and sometimes still has problems.

Unfortunately, they were both pre-dx and I'd listened to their nursery who were basically saying it had to be my fault (it couldn't possibly be anything to do with them, they only had them 5 days a week 8am-6pm!) and blamed myself. It's the road to madness!

Ooooh - and I found a couple of social stories on the net - I think one was called something like 'Poo goes to poo land' Grin

PolterGoose · 10/02/2015 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lookslikerain · 10/02/2015 22:32

We were given endless suggestions and advice from so many sources, but none of them made any difference. We were told to try him in shorts and no pants rather than trousers (because urine running down his leg would motivate him), use rewards, sticker charts, even to get him to wash his own soiled pants in a bucket so he'd understand the consequences! (That gem was from our paed; we didn't try it, it would never have worked, and seriously, think of the potential mess! [shudder]).

He just wasn't interested in it. He could see no benefit to using a toilet over the nappy. He really just didn't care. Though I do think that physiologically he was able to. So we gave up trying and thought we'd wait for him.

Then one Saturday morning at the beginning of September last year, it suddenly clicked. We were in a cafe and I said I was going to the toilet and he asked to go too. When we got home, we suggested pants to him and he hasn't worn a nappy since. It was literally overnight.

He is now fully out of nappies day and night, and had only a few accidents right at the beginning. He does have a tendency to leave it to the very last minute so we still do a bit of reminding but he's slowly getting better.

Lookslikerain · 10/02/2015 22:38

Just reading my post back, and it sounds a bit negative about advice. Sorry, that's not how I meant it to come across. It was just that for us, I really don't think there was any suggestion that would have changed anything for him.

I do second Polter on getting the right toilet seat. My DS really didn't like he idea that he might fall in so have a kiddy seat that fitted our toilet really well made him feel more secure.

Oh, this might be a little way off, but we invested in some ear defenders for going when out and about in restaurants etc as he has a fear of hand dryers. He won't even enter a toilet unless he's wearing them.

twinkcat · 11/02/2015 08:29

My ds refused to use a toilet or potty for a very long time. The nursery encouraged me to start toilet training at 3 but he wasnt ready until he was 4.5. He would sit on the toilet or potty for a while then stand up and pee on the floor. I tried encouraging him to pee in the toilet standing up but he didn't want to do that either.

I bought a thing called a 'happy pee' from Amazon. This is a tube like thing he could hold close to him and pee in. At first he refused to use it. He had started peeing in the bath at night because he was holding it in all day at nursery. I was desperate to get him toilet trained as it was becoming really stressful for both of us. It was during bath time I suggested he use the happy pee and he did. This is what changed things for us. For about 6 months we took the happy pee with us everywhere and he peed in it (and then poured it down toilet). He slowly moved onto using the toilet.

Poos were equally as difficult. He picked a big size potty from sainsburys. We decorated it with stickers. He sat on it and watched the Elmo potty training DVD. After that he started using the potty for poos. Eventually progressing to the toilet.

My health visitor had given me lots of advice. She even asked the specialist at the children's hospital for advice for me. None of the advice worked and I think it stressed ds.

Original poster
OldAntiquity · 11/02/2015 08:36

Interesting discussion, thanks Polter and Lookslike for sharing.

I wonder if I'm thinking of trying too soon and it would be easier to wait. As he's started nursery I feel like I should. Obviously, while it's supposed to be fine and everything one of his teachers when they came to visit started going on about how to potty train after I'd explained why I hadn't started. I interrupted her and said I knew how to, I already had an older child and she shut up and turned away! So I feel like there's hidden pressure.

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twinkcat · 13/02/2015 13:30

That's what happened to me. I felt I had to show the nursery I was trying because they kept hinting. It resulted in both me and ds being very stressed.

2boysnamedR · 16/02/2015 08:56

Watching

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