Don't like Mondays - pls help with school/PE distress

[OddFodd]

Sorry this is quite long but thought background might be useful.

DS is nearly 8 and in yr 3. He has quite severe dyspraxia and receives quite s lot of help at school and gets higher rate DLA.

He started this school in September and hasn't been entirely happy because he's found the step change from his little infant school plus the increased expectations v hard to deal with (he's pretty bright so is in higher sets for maths and English).

Mondays and Sunday nights are getting worse and worse. It's not just the start of the week - he has PE on Monday afternoons. He's taking hours getting homework done on Sunday (which takes minutes earlier in the week) with associated tantrums etc, sobbing at bedtime and literally peeling his fingers off the walls to get him out the house in the morning. It's pretty exhausting.

I'm really running out of ideas and struggling to cope. Can I pull him out of PE? I wonder if that would help. He already has permission to go tithe library/ict room at lunchtime.

Sorry this is a it disjointed. I'm just at a loss hoe to deal with it.

Also have a new phone and my typing on it is atrocious.

Speak to school what specifically doesn't he like about PE?
Does he like any form of sporty activities? Any all exercise will improve coordination and muscle control.
Does he need support to take place in PE sessions?

I don't know why he particularly hates Monday PE. He has sport on Thursday and only complains a bit about that. He's hypermobile so finds exercise very tiring plus of course he's crap at it. I know he needs to do it

And no, he doesn't enjoy any sport although he likes being in the water

OK I have dyslexic ds and hypermobile dd.
Re homework: do you write it for him? If not, would you try it?

For ds the sheer effort of writing and spelling took his mind off the quality of what he wanted to say. He said 'I can't write and spell at the same time. Actually I can't write and think at the same time' so the disjointed think-write-think-write was cured to a large extent but touch typing and to an important extent by extra time.

dd was quite good at sport in some ways, but it hurt, so she has a variety of knee braces ankle braces etc and exercises designed to strengthen the joints ie the muscles being strengthened to take up the job of the floppy ligaments. She can even ski in the donjoy knee braces. We were told that if the muscle is taught then the action is fine. The injury risks come where the joint can be strained when the muscles are not tight. Archery and rifle shooting and scuba diving were good.

dd also touch types, and changes position often. As she doesn't take efficient notes she has to rely on notes or text books from staff.

Self esteem picked up when they stopped being blamed for things that were not their fault. Being made to do PE when it hurts and he is no good at the sports they offer seems a ritual humiliation he could surely be spared, especially if you can find alternatives at which he could shine.

Good Luck

Senvet - that's bloody genius! Of course I could write it for him. He's learning to touch type now (slowly) but practising after doing his set work is very hard.

I'll speak to his ct re PE. He's got a different teacher on Monday afternoons who I don't know. She very shouty apparently.

He's getting headaches and feeling sick etc so I need to sort this before I get a proper school refuser on my hands.

ds2 was also a PE hater in juniors at mainstream.

Reasons:
Hated getting changed in public - was fine until Year 4 then embarrassment seemed to hit him overnight.
Never having a partner or being picked last for teams - the teacher's seem totally unaware that this happens to the same kids week after week and that it is soul-destroying for them.
He was highly competitive and didn't like losing.
It being far too chaotic and noisy.

Obviously, your son may have different reasons but this is just to give you some ideas for causes and that you can develop strategies for with the teacher. I wonder if the teachers are also differentiating appropriately for your ds's dyspraxia. I rather suspect that very few do but this is probably based on my experiences at school a long time ago when I was the last in everything sporty.

PE has been one of our secondary school successes! Dd3 has hypermobile joints and low muscle tone amongst other things.

Key stage 2 PE was a nightmare for her, she hated it. Now however she is in the bottom set of 6 and they are all fairly unco ordinated. She is still one of the worst at somethings but not at everything, they seem to have lots of fun.

At the end of the day it is about needs being met! Your Ds's are not in terms of PE and I think you should get an appointment with the SENCO and have a word!!

I am fairly certain as one suggests that teachers in primary do not have the knowledge or the volume of children to differentiate properly. I cant imagine how they could really when in one group you could have a superstar footballer or gymnast in the making and a child like Dd3 who cannot catch or stand on one leg!!
However that is no excuse for your Ds to be left miserable every sunday and monday

OneinEight - I suspect it's some or all of those things. I've not managed to get to the bottom of what is causing the issue - all I can get out of him at the moment is that the teacher is shouty but that's when he's in a bit of a flap about the whole thing.

I will have a word with him when PE isn't imminent and see if I can find out what the issues are.

Thanks all. He went off reasonably happily this morning which was a relief as I was completely dreading it.

That's very encouraging to things have improved as your DD's got older Ineed. I don't think I can cope with another 10 years of this level of angst!

I tried to remove DS from PE when he was at primary. I was told it was compulsory for all children so he couldn't be withdrawn. Now he is at secondary, it is much better. He is in a SEN PE set where the emphasis is enjoyment not attainment and he is loving it!

Well he was as happy as Larry when he came out today as they didn't have PE but did French instead which he loves! Typical :o

I will have a conversation with him over the next few days so I can email his CT before half term with specific issues

I have probed around what the issues are and the only thing he said was that it's too fast which makes his bones hurt

Is that worth raising with his CT? I'm wondering if it's his hypermobility?