Dd has finally been diagnosed!!! :-)

[frazzledbutcalm]

That's it really .... ASD. It's taken lots of years but we got there eventually. I want to shout it from the rooftops! I only hope now she'll get everything she needs/deserves at school.

Hi green .. dd seems to have anxiety over everything! She gets anxious/nervous over going to school, homework, talking to people, going out (to shops or exciting things), anything new or different .. the list is endless. I don't know how they tell the difference between asd anxiety and 'normal' anxiety. I guess 'normal' would be just getting butterflies in your tummy. Dd anxiety causes her to feel sick, get bad tummy aches, get grumpy/grouchy/angry and she goes very very pale. School always said she was fine (despite not talking to playing with others and crying at various things in school aged 10!) She's come out of school and just explode. School always made a big issue of the fact that it only happened when she was with me - like I was to blame and dd was just winding me up. The psychiatrist explained (but I already knew) that dd held things in all day in school and only let rip when she was with someone she loved and felt safe and secure with. She knew she could be herself and let all her emotions out in the safety of family.
I hope this helps, my only knowledge is living with dd and learning from her
I always knew/suspected she had asd/aspergers. dd1 and ds2 I suspect have something but I'm not sure what ... they don't have the severe social difficulties that dd2 has. But they do have their own problems/quirks. I'm deciding where to go next with them re diagnosis route.
Does your dd have a dx of asd? Do you suspect she's asd?

That is exactly what has happened to us too frazzled, Dd3 learned to mask by half way through Reception, having had the most awful start1

We kept putting her through the door despite her vomitting, screaming, begging us not to

We thought we were doing the right thing but all we did was teach her how to mask to get through the day!

We have had so many issues with schools not recognising when she is stressed, but she is so good at hiding it!

She is virtually non verbal when she is stressed. And even though many of her new teachers are realising that she is not asking for help they still havent worked out that that doesnt mean she is ok!

To be honest we are on the verge of giving up on school, I cannot and will not stand by and watch her fall apart again.

I really hope frazzled that your Dd's school can see past the masking and can listen to you, the expert!!

greener We are with you

Ineed .. dd has just started secondary school and they are MUCH better than primary! The senco is fantastic, I feel listened to and understood. She put measures in place without dd dx. We still have a way to go because atm senco is emailing all relevant teachers but the teachers aren't always following sencos instructions. But I've read here on mn that this is often the case. Senco has said that a dx holds more weight and would lead to more funding for dd needs. So I'm hopeful. The school is an academy, self funded etc, very military strict, no give and take, accepts no nonsense and this suits dd extremely well. They are fantastically academic and extremely well equipped which also suits dd extremely well. I feel the same as you though ... I would not stand by any longer and let dd suffer the way she has for the past 8 years at school. I don't like thinking of the early couple of years as they are just such distressing memories
I hope you get sorted with your dd at school. Forgive me as my memory is atrocious but your dd does have a dx iirc? If she has then it's unforgivable for school to overlook and not understand this!

Yes frazzled she does have dx's of Asd, sensory processing disorder and hypermobility syndrome!

Her school is also an academy and is very strict and academic and has an award winning sen team!!

I know they think they are doing a good job but really they have made some spectacular cock ups with Dd3.

Because we were mid way through the tribunal process when Dd3 moved there in September I tried really hard to keep things nice in the hope that they would help us to get her statemented but for some bizarre reason they decided to tell the Panel at tribunal that she is fine and everything at school is lovely and she is in top set for everything!! [actually 1 subject]

This lead to the tribunal being adjourned and now we have to gather more evidence and go back in May to find out if she gets a statement or not!

There are some good reports available to school to tell the teachers how to support Dd3 but as yet many of them dont seem to have understood what she needs and so she is falling apart

It is madness really but I just think she is one of 1300 and there is a waiting list so if I take her out it is one less child with issues for them to worry about!

Anyway, I am really glad that your Dd is well supported and I hope she does well at secondary, my Dd1 who is also and Aspie but undiagnosed did really well at secondary and enjoyed it most of the time

Good luck

Ineed ... you have my dd! She also has asd, sensory processing disorder and hypermobility!
I don't understand about tribunals but I hope you get it sorted and it all goes in yours and your dd favour.
To me my dd is well supported, but I base that on the complete lack of support experienced so far ... school can still do a lot more for her (things they've said they'll put in place but haven't as yet). Dd doesn't like school, would rather not go, doesn't enjoy any of it. My goal is for her to be able to get through her day, not to enjoy it, but to just get through it and not find it traumatic.
It's awful that our SN children have to suffer. It's very unfair.

WOW! There cannot be two Dd3's

I wont try to explain about tribunals they really are a nightmare and should be totally unnecessary!

I hope your Dd gets the help she needs!

We got a diagnosis of ASD and movement coordination difficulties (likely dyspraxia) on Wednesday fir dd1 age 8. I haven't been battling for years we weren't seeking an ASD diagnosis we thought her struggling with school was the dyspraxia. So it is all a bit sudden after a meeting with her teacher last term and a gp referral the paediatrician appt (a cancellation) was sooner than expected. And the diagnosis appeared straightforward... I would feel guilty if my head wasn't spinning. Dd has been amazing - taking it in her stride.
We did try to prepare dd for the appt though we weren't sure what to expect. But when the paediatrician asked dd why she was there dd replied " well I really don't like Maths"...

Anyway I feel I have a lot of catching up to do to get my head around all this.

Hi bigmouth and welcome.

You might be better starting another thread to ask any questions you want to!

You will get more answers hopefully.

That must have been a shock to get an Asd diaignosis out of the blue like that

Good luck anyway

bigmouth
Hope your head is settling a bit now.
Hope your dd is still doing well.

Advice if anyone is still watching the thread:-

Dd has her dx now - do I need to inform DLA (she already receives mrc and lrm)? Also, Since just before Christmas she's taking up to 2 hours to settle at night and wakes between 1 and 3 times per night. I'm in 2 minds as to whether to inform DLA of this (presumably this would entitle her to hrc?) She's usually a fantastic sleeper but has always had spells of not sleeping/settling well. But this has been constant since a mid December. I've heard DLA can change the decision and actually lower the rate so I'm unsure what would be best. Any advice?
TIA