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SN children

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Original poster

ONE SCHOOL'S LOSS is ANOTHER SCHOOL'S GAIN!!!!

49 replies

mrsforgetful · 21/04/2004 11:01

Well?.my boys will be leaving THAT school on Friday and starting the new one on Monday!

I feel I have died and gone to heaven!

Turns out the Head is friendly with the old head of the school they go to now?and infact he chose that head as a mentor when he started at this new school.

So seeing that I loved the old head?..and Thomas remembers him well ?.and our problems only began when he had to resign due to ill health- I feel this in itself is a good omen!!

So when I met the head and wandered round the school it was like turning back the clock 5 years to ?the good old days?.

The kids were running up to the head and cuddling him etc when we went out to the playground. That is a sight I thought I?d never see again!

Also since receiving my letter requesting they join his school he has been on the internet reading up on aspergers etc so that he had a better understanding. Maybe he?s a closet mumsnetter!!!!!!

He also said that they?d need my input to start with to make sure that they ?Get it right???what a difference to how I feel at the current school!

And the icing on the cake is that all the class sizes are all smaller?and Alex will be in a reception class with 1 ½ teaching assistants?..currently he has just the teacher!

Also as there are 4 classes dedicated ?special needs?. I saw a girl with DS and another who was partialy deaf.
It is to me a truly inclusive school as they may not be high up in the league tables? but they provide for all the children that the ?High Achieving? schools don?t cater for.

OP posts:

coppertop · 23/04/2004 08:10

Last day today, MrsF!

I'll bet you've never looked forward to a Monday morning before.

Original poster

mrsforgetful · 23/04/2004 12:37

however....alex got overwhelmed when he visited the school and all his future classmates were waving and shouting "hello alex"!!! :0/

he came ot saying he didn't want to go there!!

But....i expected that....and i felt he didn't really understand what 'moving schools' meant.

On monday i take them all to the office and i am hoping that leigh and thomas at least that day are happy to be took to their classes without me- they have always beeb very independant so i am realistic there.
That means i can start the 'alex routine' from day one. I can go to his class and take him in etc.
On tuesday we will start going in as the others do- at 8.45 they wait outside the playground gates- then a teacher lets them in and everyone goes into the playground- then 5 mins later a whistle goes and the parents leave the older ones- taking their younger ones to class....so that should mean i get away to settle alex easily as leigh like rules and structure- and i have told him this way of doing things is a BIG RULE !!!
then after another 5 mins the final whistle goes and the older ones have to line up- meanwhile we are all in the reception class settling them in. By the time we leave the reception calss all the other kids have gone into class.

I was there at 9.05 today and i was aware of how quiet and ordered the school seemed....no crowds of parents milling round the office- and when we got to alex's class at 9.10- they were all quietly sat in acircle.....till we walked in!

Note...the detail i have researched simply the morning arrival at school...this is as much for me as for the kids.....i need to know in advance what is happening...here i go again with my 'I'm Aspie too!'

OP posts:

Original poster

mrsforgetful · 23/04/2004 12:47

oh and another 'goodie'....when i was visiting there on Tues- i saw THE Ed Psychologist observing a child....amazing isn't it- the current school 'manages without' involving an Ed Psych (as if that's good) and this school says she has been known to be ther wekk after week at times. Advantage being that a) she chats to the head quite alot and b) she may be in a class observing when leigh's around- and i know she isn't meant to observe him....but he'd be notice i can guarantee!! Seriosly...as tom would say!.....i just feel that if this school 'embraces' the outside professionals then that's something i'm definitely not going to have to fret about!!! (the current head has still not asked the outreach team in ....still doesn't matter now!)

OP posts:

coppertop · 24/04/2004 10:17

Are you celebrating your freedom from the old school, MrsF?

Davros · 24/04/2004 10:43

I agree MrsF, I think a lot of contact with the professionals, even if its supposed to be for another child, can benefit your child too, and the others. Apart from anything else, they are more likely to have a good relationship with the school staff and that can only be good for all the kids.
Hope you have a great weekend, you've done your homework for now so relax!
(BTW, I've been laminating a "no sprnking soil" token board this morning, thought of you)

maryz · 25/04/2004 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KPB · 25/04/2004 14:47

Good luck tomorrow Mrs F, I really hope (know it will) it goes well!!!! Let us know how it all goes!

coppertop · 25/04/2004 15:08

Best of luck for tomorrow, MrsF!

jmb1964 · 25/04/2004 23:27

Just more good luck wishes from me too Mrs F - bet you feel more nervous about it than your boys do! Can't wait to hear how it goes!

coppertop · 26/04/2004 08:16

It's The Big Day! Make sure you let us know how it all goes, MrsF. Best of luck.

Thomcat · 26/04/2004 10:12

look forward to hearing how well it went.

Original poster

mrsforgetful · 26/04/2004 10:20

cannot believe how may of you have been thinking of us...thanks!

We had p.c probs again this weekend (watchout coppertop....yours will be acting up too if our past expererience is anything to go by1)

Anyhow....I have fixed it and here i am.

Yes- i was scared to death this morning- panic is not the word for how i felt!

However when i got them to the new school and tom went off with a TA i knew we were ok!

Then took leigh to his and he skipped all the way....thrilled when he found the teacher had labeled his coat peg with a massive lable---which was higher than the others! (smart move by the teacher!) he looked so differente to his old school(Oh! THAT is a great feeling to say OLD!!)

Alex went in fine and sat in the circle next to his teacher.

I came away chatting to the secratary and found out another 'BONUS' with this school....given that tom and leigh are very limited in what they eat i always found the old school aproblem at snacktimes- they don't like milk or fruit- and that was all that was allowed. This school has a 20p tuckshop and they can take in a 'suitable' chock bar (kitkat ,penguin etc)...though she said the odd mars bar gets sneaked in too! Or they can have crisps.....may shock some parents to think that the kids are allowed this....however for me this will mean that at mid morning my sons will be able to join in with the snack times rather than be excluded as they don't like fruit etc!!!

OP posts:

twiglett · 26/04/2004 10:42

message withdrawn

coppertop · 26/04/2004 10:49

MrsF - I've just finished e-mailing you and here you are! PC problems? Well, if I 'disappear' for a few days you'll know why. You're a jinx!

What a relief for you! The new school sounds brilliant. I know what you mean about the snacks. Ds1 is the other way around though. He really doesn't like sweet snacks and gets left out when everyone else is eating sweets and chocolate. (Sigh! I wish I felt the same way about chocolate. )

Davros · 26/04/2004 11:34

Great to hear that it went well this morning. Keep us posted but it really does sound like a wonderful move for all of you.

Rebi · 26/04/2004 12:15

Mrs Forgetful - delighted to hear all your good news. Well done!

lou33 · 26/04/2004 12:52

Wonderful news MrsF

Thomcat · 26/04/2004 13:42

Doesn't get much better than that aye Absoliutley brilliant news, I'm thrilled for you all

KPB · 26/04/2004 14:52

So pleased it all went well Mrs F, I knew it would though!!!

Original poster

mrsforgetful · 26/04/2004 22:00

Helllllooooooo!

They had a great day- i spoke briefly to each teacher and nothing to report to me!

First impressions....
Tom reckoned he'd let me know what he thought afetr 2 days (!) and leigh loved it.Alex even got given a 'proper' red book bag...you know the ones that have a carring handle...they give one to every reception child. I know they 'only' cost about £5....but it was another little gesture that adds to the 'feel good factor'!!!He also came out wearing a gold star sticker so he was happy!

Later on i managed to get some more out of thomas....Lunch was easier as the lunch assistants take their lunches from outside the class and return the boxes for the kids after lunch-i suppose to avoid loads of 'to-ing and fro-ing'....this ofcourse suits my son perfectly as he has 'that lunchtime problem'.

Leigh reckoned he did 'easy maths' and got tackeled at football which made him cry (as it was his team mate that tackled him)....and also in the 3rd playtime (which his old school abolished from yr 2 up) it was stopped half way through due to some fighting etc......leigh said he got cross..'but controlled himself'.....so NO incident....but the two things that bothered him are to do with 'people breaking rules' and 'an activity ending early'....so what i'm trying to say is the difference is incredible as though these thing bothered him....as they will as he's probably got AS.....he came home without the meltdown that he'd have had at his last school!

sTILL.....IT'S ONLY DAY 1 i hear you cry!!!.....however lately there has not been ONE day where he has not had major moods/melt downs etc after school.....so this has to be a good sign- even though it is just one day!

What i have said is that these things happen in life and i know they upset him (like how he is so literal....believes Thomas wants to kill him....because thomas says he will)....but that he is now at a school that is caring.

A 'friend' annoyed me the other day when i was telling her about the school change....she said that i was trying to remove evry possible obsticle and hurdle to stop him getting upset- iand that it was unreasonable to expect a school to meet that requirement.....i managed to stay calm and tried not to 'justify' as i usually do- i explained instead that I was not looking for that- but what i needed was understanding that when for example the lessons were switched round that because leigh was likely to throw a wobbly then they simply needed to either imfrorm him in advance wherever possible....and as life is a bit unpredictable (i accept that they cannot always do that) then they need to be prepared for hi distress when things are changed and he reacts badly.)

This is all i need.

It's a bit like at home ....every day there are many potential 'meltdowns' which i manage to prevent....however sometimes it's impossible to prevent- and i have to switch to 'recovery' mode....using social stories etc i manage to prepare him- but i know that even as his mum i cannot stop it all.

OP posts:

maryz · 26/04/2004 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop · 27/04/2004 08:17

Ignore your friend, MrsF. If she personally had to live with all the meltdowns etc she'd be first in the queue for the new school. As you say, it's not about removing every single obstacle - it's about finding a school where teachers are willing to recognise that there is a potential problem (even a small change) and either trying to head it off or knowing how to deal with it when it happens. I would almost KILL for a day without any meltdowns! Sigh...

Original poster

mrsforgetful · 27/04/2004 12:23

we are lucky with leigh- he has no really inconvenient routines- but i guess each day there are at least 10 or 15 things i have to do that prevent meltdown...from how i wake him up to what i give him to eat.

The 'latest' rule he has devised is a byproduct of a social story we did about manners etc. So now EVERY time he says thankyou to me i have to answer 'Well done Leigh'- he was not happy with me saying 'you're welcome' etc as that didn't show i was pleased!!!!!

he is forever scripting me!

and do you find things are contageous? I was shopping today and i found myself 'whispering' in a 'breathless' way the reply 'Yes' to a sales person....i am forever 'encouraging' thomas to not do this as he is not heard very well..... so either he caught it from me or me from him!

also i have to treat alex (NT so far) in the same way as the other 2 or else he gets cross.....i keep scaring him lately by suddenley shouting out to the other 2 and he's not expecting it! So i find i have to even 'prewarn' him that i will be shouting up to the other 2!!!!!

OP posts:

coppertop · 27/04/2004 13:12

I know what you mean about the 'contagious' things, MrsF. I have embarrassed myself so many times because of either copying ds1 or talking to other people the way I have to talk to him.

When he first started putting words together a few months ago, every time he completed something he would say "All Binished!" (not a typo!). I found myself saying "All Binished" to several surprised shop assistants. They probably thought I'd lost the plot.

Then we had the stage where the SALT said we should speak to ds1 in very short sentences, eg "Ds1 go bed" or "Ds1 eat tea". There was one unfortunate incident when my SIL phoned to speak to dh and I told her "Dh all gone. Dh go shop." God knows what she must've thought!

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