Specialist dyslexia secondary school or all-ability school with good learning support?

[ForPetesSakeNotAgain]

I have found two possible fee-paying schools for DS1 who has moderate dyslexia and average IQ (105-110). Both schools are good at what they do and I only don't mention their names because I would love to hear people's views on the general question of whether a child with dyslexia is better off in a school for dyslexic children or in a small nurturing all-ability school with access to good learning support.

I am torn. I can see that the special school will work on his dyslexic difficulties and he may be more likely to be able to overcome them. But I am worried about him somehow feeling defined by his difficulties and missing out on the opportunity to socialise with his non-dyslexic peers. He has low self esteem and suffers from some anxiety.

I would welcome views and experiences if anyone would like to share them.

Is the school you defer to specifically dyslexia specialist or is it also HFA, ADSD and more generic etc too?

Sorry pressed send to soon! Our son has very severe dyslexia and attends a specialist (crested) school. We don't have a choice because his literacy skills are so bad that he literally can not access the curriculum without a specialist environment (his IQ is within the normal ranges) If we did have the choice, If I felt he could cope and would be supported properly, in our case, the small "normal" one would be my choice but I only base this on our experience as where we have gained academically, we have lost socially as many of the children have quite diverse needs and the school isn't big enough to have a "choice" of friends. Obviously I don't know which schools you are referring to or your sons situation, so rather a vague answer!

My ds has dyslexia, and did fine in independent mainstream.

But you know your own child best, and will be able to make a good decision. Nothing is perfect, though, so don't cane yourself when things don't go quite right.

The really useful bit of advice we had was to be prepared for the dramatic increase in the amount of writing in secondary. Even then, we were taken aback. It is much harder to sort an essay when your brain is distracting you with problems of spelling etc.

Talking to staff in mainstreams, as we went round on open days, it was very clear when there was no proper SEN system that could distinguish my ds, who tried hard but was up against it through no fault of his own, from the rebel kids who were capable but lazy.

So those schools went out of the picture.

The special schools were spending more time on dyslexia stuff than he needed. - a laptop and not being told off for things he couldn't help were enough -

As a result of mainstream, he had to endure a bit of teasing for mis-spelling eg his own name, but he had the type of personality that could brush that aside (being an excellent sportsman helped).

He will now tell people he has dyslexia (and dyspraxia) if he needs to, but is far more likely to talk about the things he can do - which is, of course, what we all do...

Thanks very much Bigbird and Senvet for these helpful comments. The dyslexia special school we are considering is More House which I think is mainly dyslexia but some kids have both dyslexia and the usual mix - ADHD/ASD etc. The alternative option is offering 14 hours in class support in a mainstream setting (offering is the wrong term perhaps as we would pay for it) but I don't know how DS will feel with an adult parked next to him in so many lessons. I guess I am trying to balance the benefits of a full range of kids in the class with the benefits of not standing out as different and I haven't a clue!

We sent our son to a private school for pre-prep and when the transition came to the "prep-school" we moved him. They offered to supply a TA to sit with him, but as you say, we would have had to pay her salary on top of the fees as well as the Speech and Lang, plus all the other extras. It would have run into thousands. Also, his literacy is so poor that we needed a school which can tailor make the curriculum more. Which his present school does do. I totally get what you are asking as it's what we have been through. The small classes and custom curriculum is better but as I say, friendships are not. He misses his friends at his old school (but I make a BIG effort to keep him on touch) but in reality, like you, I am not sure of it would have been fair on him to be the ONLY child singled out for learning support even if we could justify the fees. (Our son had a stroke so has minor physical issues too so can't excel at sport either) I don't know moor house personally, but it's on my radar as a similar profiled school to ours. Like any school, a lot can depend on the kids (and teachers) who happen to be there at the time!

A good 1 to 1 supporter won't park themselves next to a pupil but will help out when needed. That can often be in organisational stuff, which gets a good deal harder in secondary, or in sorting copies of notes to work from is it has been hard to take notes down.

Then there is the recording of the ideas and answers dc wants to get down.
Have a look at 'Groan here we go again' for an insight of dyslexia and secondary school....

My daughter has severe dyslexia and went to the Moat School, Fulham from Years 7 - 11. The school caters very well for bright dyslexic children. We didn't think my daughter would do GCSEs as she was so turned off education but she took 6 GCSEs and whilst her results weren't so good we felt that she learnt so much there and was treated as an individual. She had terrible anxiety as well which held her back. She is now 18 and has really blossomed. She says that The Moat was the best school she ever went to and she uses the skills she learnt there now with her studies.
She was funded by our LA and I think at least half the children there are funded and the rest self fund.

Thanks everyone for your help and insights. We did the taster days and my son loved More House School so we signed him up there. I am feeling pretty upbeat (but my bank manager probably wouldn't agree with me!)

My son boards at More House and is thriving and very happy. Am happy to answer any questions you may have.

If you pm there is a parents FB group I can put you in contact with.